door, calling good-bye to her parents before it shut. She walked to the driveway in her typical perfect-posture way—shoulders back, chin slightly raised.
“Geez, Kayleigh.” I could hear them through the open windows. “I was coming.”
Morgan and Kayleigh acted more like sisters than any two people I knew, including me and my actual sister. When Kayleigh’s mom died, her dad and three older brothers started attending Morgan’s church. Morgan was only five at the time, but she took Kayleigh by the hand and guided her to their Sunday school classroom. They’ve been best friends ever since.
Kayleigh and I clicked in fifth grade, each intuiting that our lives were harder than other kids’. We didn’t talk about my parents’ chilly silences or her mom’s death, but we sensed that hurt the way that only broken-home kids can. She introduced me to Morgan, whose parents were utterly normal, and somehow, with Tessa, our individually weird lives gelled together and stuck.
“I thought your mom wouldn’t let you wear that dress,” Morgan said to me, shutting the car door behind them. Her memory contained the entire school’s gossip and all four of our wardrobes.
“Well, I’m wearing it anyway.” I glanced at Tessa for affirmation, and she gave me a decisive nod as we pulled out of the driveway.
“Wait,” Morgan said. “Turn around. Do you have bangs?”
“Yeah, she does!” Tessa said this like a cheer, rallying me as she turned the radio up.
“Okay, seriously—why is the world so weird in here?” Morgan raised her voice over the song. “Paige changed herhair for the first time in human history, and this is not Tessa music.”
“I like this song,” Kayleigh said, drumming on the back of my seat.
“Is there a crisis?” Morgan demanded. “Why are we listening to this in your car?”
“Because we can!” Tessa yelled, giving the volume dial another turn. I glanced over at her, hair wild against the open windows, and smiled, despite the chaos filling my life.
I needed all three girls that night, steeling me. They’d always been my closest friends, but after Aaron died, I folded myself into them completely. We camped out at Tessa’s for weekends at a time, with rented movies and Morgan-made snacks. They were normal when I wanted to be normal, and they held me when I wanted to cry. When it all closes in, there are only two kinds of people: best friends and everyone else.
Two hours into the party, Tessa had reminded me at least four times that we could leave whenever I wanted. We’d been working our way through the house, pausing to mingle, and I thought I was doing well. No sign of Leanne Woods and her new college boyfriend. Ryan Chase was around, and, having observed him for an embarrassingly long chunk of my life, I could tell something was different.His body language sang with even more confidence, like he’d finally discovered his good looks. Maybe it was an attempt to shrug off rumors of Leanne-linked depression, but Ryan Chase seemed fine. Just fine.
After a while, I separated from my friends to socialize on my own and prove I was also fine. Besides, I had a personal score to settle: me versus me. I was going outside to the deck, which overlooked Maggie’s pool, and I was going to watch my classmates swim. If I was going to swim myself again someday, I might as well get used to it.
I ran into Maggie herself on my way outside. She was wearing a white cotton dress and cradling a two-liter soda bottle in the crook of her arm.
“Hey, Paige,” she said. “I’m so glad you came! Great dress.”
“Thanks. It’s a great party.”
From somewhere inside, a glass shattered.
“Shit,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Better get in there. Hey—I hope you have a good time. Really.”
She gave me one last meaningful look—that “really” proving that she knew, as much as anyone could, what the past year had been like for me. Maggie, whose grace and directness had gotten her elected
“Geez, Kayleigh.” I could hear them through the open windows. “I was coming.”
Morgan and Kayleigh acted more like sisters than any two people I knew, including me and my actual sister. When Kayleigh’s mom died, her dad and three older brothers started attending Morgan’s church. Morgan was only five at the time, but she took Kayleigh by the hand and guided her to their Sunday school classroom. They’ve been best friends ever since.
Kayleigh and I clicked in fifth grade, each intuiting that our lives were harder than other kids’. We didn’t talk about my parents’ chilly silences or her mom’s death, but we sensed that hurt the way that only broken-home kids can. She introduced me to Morgan, whose parents were utterly normal, and somehow, with Tessa, our individually weird lives gelled together and stuck.
“I thought your mom wouldn’t let you wear that dress,” Morgan said to me, shutting the car door behind them. Her memory contained the entire school’s gossip and all four of our wardrobes.
“Well, I’m wearing it anyway.” I glanced at Tessa for affirmation, and she gave me a decisive nod as we pulled out of the driveway.
“Wait,” Morgan said. “Turn around. Do you have bangs?”
“Yeah, she does!” Tessa said this like a cheer, rallying me as she turned the radio up.
“Okay, seriously—why is the world so weird in here?” Morgan raised her voice over the song. “Paige changed herhair for the first time in human history, and this is not Tessa music.”
“I like this song,” Kayleigh said, drumming on the back of my seat.
“Is there a crisis?” Morgan demanded. “Why are we listening to this in your car?”
“Because we can!” Tessa yelled, giving the volume dial another turn. I glanced over at her, hair wild against the open windows, and smiled, despite the chaos filling my life.
I needed all three girls that night, steeling me. They’d always been my closest friends, but after Aaron died, I folded myself into them completely. We camped out at Tessa’s for weekends at a time, with rented movies and Morgan-made snacks. They were normal when I wanted to be normal, and they held me when I wanted to cry. When it all closes in, there are only two kinds of people: best friends and everyone else.
Two hours into the party, Tessa had reminded me at least four times that we could leave whenever I wanted. We’d been working our way through the house, pausing to mingle, and I thought I was doing well. No sign of Leanne Woods and her new college boyfriend. Ryan Chase was around, and, having observed him for an embarrassingly long chunk of my life, I could tell something was different.His body language sang with even more confidence, like he’d finally discovered his good looks. Maybe it was an attempt to shrug off rumors of Leanne-linked depression, but Ryan Chase seemed fine. Just fine.
After a while, I separated from my friends to socialize on my own and prove I was also fine. Besides, I had a personal score to settle: me versus me. I was going outside to the deck, which overlooked Maggie’s pool, and I was going to watch my classmates swim. If I was going to swim myself again someday, I might as well get used to it.
I ran into Maggie herself on my way outside. She was wearing a white cotton dress and cradling a two-liter soda bottle in the crook of her arm.
“Hey, Paige,” she said. “I’m so glad you came! Great dress.”
“Thanks. It’s a great party.”
From somewhere inside, a glass shattered.
“Shit,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Better get in there. Hey—I hope you have a good time. Really.”
She gave me one last meaningful look—that “really” proving that she knew, as much as anyone could, what the past year had been like for me. Maggie, whose grace and directness had gotten her elected
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