The Unofficial Suitor by Charlotte Louise Dolan

shadows and begin his life as a proper English country gentleman, enjoying the sights of London with his friends as any provincial hick might be expected to do.”
    “I find the label ‘provincial’ an incongruous one when applied to you, Richard, never having seen you at a loss, no matter what the setting.”
    “Not even when I was a callow youth on board the good ship Golden Dreams!”‘
    “Not even then. You had something that set you apart from the others. I do not know what to call it other than a kind of determination. And my early estimates of your abilities have proven to be correct, although even I am sometimes astounded at how far you have come.”
    “We have come together, my friend, and our journey is almost over. Yes, I do believe the time has come for the last step. We can use our time in London to build acceptable backgrounds for Richard Hawke and John Tuke.”
    The silence that greeted his last remark was no longer comfortable, and Richard turned to see a look of distress on his friend’s face.
    “If you mislike the plans I make, you have only to say so, John. I would not like to think I am forcing you to go against your own desires.”
    His companion smiled wryly, as if in self-mockery. “I suspect that in this case, you will deem it in my best interests to apply a little gentle coercion, which will nonetheless be impossible for me to withstand.”
    “I had not known you thought me such a fearful ogre. Pray enlighten me as to what absurd ambitions you cherish that I must talk you out of.”
    The older man stared into his glass for several minutes before he finally spoke. “I wish to continue as your valet in London.” Receiving no response to his statement, he finally looked up and met Richard’s amused glance.
    “Ah, John, how well you know me. I do believe you are the only person alive who can predict what I will do.”
    “Then you do intend to dissuade me?” At Richard’s nod, John continued. “Is there nothing I can say that will convince you I am serious in this request?”
    “Perhaps if you explained yourself more fully?”
    “It is not easy to explain, and I am not sure how well I understand it myself, but I will make an effort. My father was a vicar, you see. He is dead now. I made inquiries when we returned to England. I have no doubts but that he was sincerely mourned by his little flock when he passed on to his reward. He was a very good man, you see, who managed to find some goodness in everyone around him.
    “I am not completely sure he even believed in the existence of true evil, and such petty sinners as he had to deal with in his parish were assumed by him to be merely misguided, rather than fundamentally bad. He wished me to take orders also, but I was mad for the sea so he made the necessary arrangements to secure me a position on a merchant ship.”
    “Perry was right. I have dragged you down unforgivably.”
    “No, Richard, on the contrary. You have not only saved my life on numerous occasions, but you have also saved my sanity. I confess, I thought of nothing much those first few weeks of captivity except finding the necessary means to put a period to my existence.”
    “I would never have allowed you to do that.”
    “I was aware of that, and it played a large part in my decision to cast my lot with you, young as you were. And I have never regretted that decision.”
    Staring into the fire with unseeing eyes, his friend became silent, as if his thoughts were in a distant place, and Richard realized that the stripes on their backs and the marks of the irons on their wrists and ankles were not the only scars they both carried. And sometimes the scars on the mind were the slowest to heal.
    “But I am getting ahead of my story now,” Tuke continued softly, “and I must go back to when we first met on board ship. There was more of my father in me at that time than I was willing to admit, and on first meeting you, I immediately placed you in the category of