The Upside of Being Let Down (new adult romance - 1) by London Casey, Karolyn James Page A
Authors: London Casey, Karolyn James
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told myself the day I
stepped into the dorm... six months. That ’ s
how long I ’ d wait
until I ’ d have sex
with someone in love with me.
Tommy loves me.
I can tell.
We ’ re alone.
Totally alone in the dorm.
We ’ re on my bed.
He shifts towards me and I move
my hand away. I balance myself on the bed as Tommy starts to kiss my neck
lower.
There ’ s voices outside the door,
people walking by.
It doesn ’ t feel... romantic.
“ Tommy,
I can ’ t, ” I whisper. “ The dorm... ”
“ Is
that it? ”
Tommy looks at me. His hands
touch my face. He pulls me in close and kisses me.
Oh, it tastes good. It ’ s amazing.
Beyond amazing.
My toes curl in my toe socks.
I want him.
I want Tommy.
I want... dare I admit it,
finally... I want to fuck Tommy.
I want Tommy to fuck me.
The kiss ends. Our mouths are
open. We ’ re
breathing against each other ’ s
mouths.
“ I
want you, ” I say.
Tommy smiles.
If he ’ s a good guy, he ’ ll tell me no, right? He ’ ll tell me it ’ s only been a month and a half.
I clearly explained my rule to him. My six months rule. Yes.
He nods. “ Come with me then. We ’ ll go for a ride... ”
A ride.
I pulled the covers off my face and
sighed.
Thinking about myself back then,
all those... few years ago... I was so stupid.
Tommy got what he sort of wanted.
He got sex.
And when he ditched me so he could
make a move on Wicked, he got burned. But he had stories. Lots of stories. He
wasn ’ t afraid to talk
either, telling everyone he could about my sister and how he came so close to
scoring with her. It wasn ’ t
true, but I suddenly became the most popular girl on campus.
The one to use.
The one to make out with in order to
get to Wicked.
Or so everyone thought.
I hated guys.
I seriously hated all guys.
Even Bryan.
Yeah, I hated Bryan.
Why?
Because he got involved. If he hadn ’ t ordered his drink right next
to me... it didn ’ t matter
if it was the only open spot at the bar, he could have went somewhere else. He
could have just grew some balls and ordered a drink from a topless waitress.
Did he need to come to the bar?
Did he need to help with that crazy
drunk chick?
Did he have to bring me my cell
phone?
I closed my eyes and held them
shut.
No. I ’ m not opening them again...
The next time I was going to open
my eyes it would be sunny out. It would be another day. A chance to start some
things over and figure it out.
I squeezed my eyes and they hurt.
I needed to open my eyes.
Why, I didn ’ t know, but I did.
I managed maybe twenty seconds and
then opened my eyes.
Fuck.
I couldn ’ t sleep in the car.
Its comfort was non-existent and
the more time I spent in the backseat the more I thought about breaking my six
month rule. More than once too. Because sometimes when you get into a self
destructive cycle you can ’ t
stop. One guy comforts and then another and another. A broken heart could
easily act blind. A saddened mind could easily make up a reality that doesn ’ t exist.
Which is what became of the past
few years of my life.
I threw the blanket off me and
reached for my phone. It had been fifteen minutes since I parked my car. If I
dared to stay it would be painful. Long and painful. Pure torture.
Unless...
“ Shut
up, ” I whispered.
I touched my pocket.
I took the paper out and looked at
the scribbled address.
Bryan did offer me to stay. He
wanted me to stay. All I had to do was crash on his couch. For one night. I
could thank him by buying breakfast.
I wouldn ’ t sleep with him.
We weren ’ t even dating.
And if so, I had a six month rule.
Maybe it was time to start following
rules.
(9)
Bryan sat on his couch out of
principle. Part of him didn ’ t
want the night to end. He wasn ’ t
sure why. Maybe because the next day would just bring more life. The guilt hit
him hard as he thought about Chloe.
He felt like an ass hanging up on
her and throwing his phone.
If she was drunk and being
stepped into the dorm... six months. That ’ s
how long I ’ d wait
until I ’ d have sex
with someone in love with me.
Tommy loves me.
I can tell.
We ’ re alone.
Totally alone in the dorm.
We ’ re on my bed.
He shifts towards me and I move
my hand away. I balance myself on the bed as Tommy starts to kiss my neck
lower.
There ’ s voices outside the door,
people walking by.
It doesn ’ t feel... romantic.
“ Tommy,
I can ’ t, ” I whisper. “ The dorm... ”
“ Is
that it? ”
Tommy looks at me. His hands
touch my face. He pulls me in close and kisses me.
Oh, it tastes good. It ’ s amazing.
Beyond amazing.
My toes curl in my toe socks.
I want him.
I want Tommy.
I want... dare I admit it,
finally... I want to fuck Tommy.
I want Tommy to fuck me.
The kiss ends. Our mouths are
open. We ’ re
breathing against each other ’ s
mouths.
“ I
want you, ” I say.
Tommy smiles.
If he ’ s a good guy, he ’ ll tell me no, right? He ’ ll tell me it ’ s only been a month and a half.
I clearly explained my rule to him. My six months rule. Yes.
He nods. “ Come with me then. We ’ ll go for a ride... ”
A ride.
I pulled the covers off my face and
sighed.
Thinking about myself back then,
all those... few years ago... I was so stupid.
Tommy got what he sort of wanted.
He got sex.
And when he ditched me so he could
make a move on Wicked, he got burned. But he had stories. Lots of stories. He
wasn ’ t afraid to talk
either, telling everyone he could about my sister and how he came so close to
scoring with her. It wasn ’ t
true, but I suddenly became the most popular girl on campus.
The one to use.
The one to make out with in order to
get to Wicked.
Or so everyone thought.
I hated guys.
I seriously hated all guys.
Even Bryan.
Yeah, I hated Bryan.
Why?
Because he got involved. If he hadn ’ t ordered his drink right next
to me... it didn ’ t matter
if it was the only open spot at the bar, he could have went somewhere else. He
could have just grew some balls and ordered a drink from a topless waitress.
Did he need to come to the bar?
Did he need to help with that crazy
drunk chick?
Did he have to bring me my cell
phone?
I closed my eyes and held them
shut.
No. I ’ m not opening them again...
The next time I was going to open
my eyes it would be sunny out. It would be another day. A chance to start some
things over and figure it out.
I squeezed my eyes and they hurt.
I needed to open my eyes.
Why, I didn ’ t know, but I did.
I managed maybe twenty seconds and
then opened my eyes.
Fuck.
I couldn ’ t sleep in the car.
Its comfort was non-existent and
the more time I spent in the backseat the more I thought about breaking my six
month rule. More than once too. Because sometimes when you get into a self
destructive cycle you can ’ t
stop. One guy comforts and then another and another. A broken heart could
easily act blind. A saddened mind could easily make up a reality that doesn ’ t exist.
Which is what became of the past
few years of my life.
I threw the blanket off me and
reached for my phone. It had been fifteen minutes since I parked my car. If I
dared to stay it would be painful. Long and painful. Pure torture.
Unless...
“ Shut
up, ” I whispered.
I touched my pocket.
I took the paper out and looked at
the scribbled address.
Bryan did offer me to stay. He
wanted me to stay. All I had to do was crash on his couch. For one night. I
could thank him by buying breakfast.
I wouldn ’ t sleep with him.
We weren ’ t even dating.
And if so, I had a six month rule.
Maybe it was time to start following
rules.
(9)
Bryan sat on his couch out of
principle. Part of him didn ’ t
want the night to end. He wasn ’ t
sure why. Maybe because the next day would just bring more life. The guilt hit
him hard as he thought about Chloe.
He felt like an ass hanging up on
her and throwing his phone.
If she was drunk and being
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