The Will to Love

The Will to Love by Selene Chardou

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Authors: Selene Chardou
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eye but Syd didn’t know much about him either during his teenage years and what she knew, she wasn’t willing to share with me.
     
    “Listen, we’ll be back tomorrow after the meeting so what’s the problem? Is it so wrong we would rather have some private time together?” I snapped without thinking about who I was talking to.
     
    Will’s blue eyes glared between the two of us but I could give a fuck as Kaz’s aquamarine eyes turned colder than an Eskimo’s dick. “Listen, I know you think you’re special because you’re the photographer for our band and Winter’s Regret but don’t forget you’re easily replaceable.”
     
    My heart beat fiercely in my chest though my voice never flinched. “If you think I’m not up to doing my job, by all means, report me to Dom and I’m sure he’ll be able to find a replacement for me in no time, Kasper. I would just hate for him to find out the reason why you think I’m so…inadequate. I didn’t realize Will was under your beck and motherfuckin’ call.”
     
    I stared down the lead singer of the band for several more agonizing seconds until he rolled down the partition between the driver and us. “We’ll be making a detour on the Strip to Vogue Hotel and Casino. One of the band member’s and his girlfriend are staying there tonight.”
     
    “Yes, sir,” the driver said with little emotion before he took the Tropicana exit and got onto the Strip, which was a virtual parking lot on a Friday night.
     
    I’d never been so relieved to get out of a vehicle as I was when we pulled up and both Will and I got out while a valet whistled to a bell hop to get our luggage.
     
    “Good evening, Mr. Cullen and Ms. Munsen. Your suite is ready. Just let me know when you’re ready to go to the club and I’ll get you two a limo, courtesy of the hotel. Here’s my number if you need anything.”
     
    Will grabbed the card from the valet and smiled. “Thanks, Roger. I wonder if anyone missed me. It’s been a while since I’ve been there.”
     
    “Believe me, sir, you were missed.”
     
    I waited until we’d checked in and had boarded the elevator. “What was that about? What club were you two talking about?”
     
    Will looked so innocent yet mischievous as he said, “Club X-Tasy. It’s a—”
     
    “Bondage, domination, and sadomasochism club. I’ve been to the New York location in the meat packing district. I’ve dated all types, including a stock broker who liked pain. Please don’t tell me you’re a pain whore.” My heart began to thud faster in my chest; this was a whole new side to Will I was seeing and I wondered why I knew nothing about it.
     
    “No, I’m not. Even as a gay man though I look like the classic twink, I’m actually a dominant. I can count the number of times I have been fucked in the ass and it’s not because I don’t enjoy it…it’s a loss of control and unfortunately, I have a hard time giving up control to anyone.”
     
    “How long have you been a member? It’s one hundred grand a year when I dated Mr. Pain Whore Stockbroker Boy.
     
    “It’s still one hundred grand but I get a deep discount.”
     
    My eyebrows arched upwards. “And why is that?”
     
    Will smiled slightly. “I worked at the L.A. location for almost two years. Although I was not a pain whore…I sometimes had to put up with the degradation and that meant me being fucked even when I didn’t want to be. I still came but it wasn’t something I would have done had it not been my job. Imagine that, a gay man not enjoying gay sex. But the dominant women with the strap-ons were the worst because they thought you were a fucking animated doll.”
     
    He sighed before he continued. “Just know that all the sex there was in fact consensual and safe. It was good money and besides, I didn’t stay at the club for long…I started working for one of the Krieger twins and I lived in his home. I rarely saw him—I was just paid to be there and service him when

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