world.
Finally, he stepped forward. “What. The. Fuck. Sarah.”
His voice was so loud and so strong that it silenced the other two in an instant. There was a moment of shocked silence between us all and then Nadia grabbed Robbie’s arm and began hauling him to the door.
“Come on, kid, let’s go.”
Robbie resisted even as she dragged him out. “But-”
“They need a minute, Jesus,” she said as she shut the door behind them. All the animosity I’d felt when I met her faded in that moment of kindness.
Of course, staring at Dave and his ‘how could you’ face, I sort of wished Nadia and The Kid had stayed and kept it awkward. I preferred awkward right now.
“Are you sure?” he asked, folding his arms as he stared at me like I was a stranger.
I nodded. “I took about twenty of those at-home tests, at all times of the day. They all came back positive.”
I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple working hard. His hands had started to shake, too. Not good.
“How long have you known?” he asked.
That one was a harder question to answer.
“Um, a couple of months,” I finally whispered. “I found out when we were on the road from Wyoming to Montana. I guess it’s why I’ve gained some weight lately. Remember how you kept joking about all I needed was hamburgers? Well, I didn’t just need hamburgers.”
He clenched his fists on the metal table between us, then turned away.
“Fuck, fuck, mother fucker,” he said, mostly to himself, I guess. Or the world at large. Probably also at me.
“Dave, it’s not like I cheated on you,” I said.
The moment he turned toward me, eyes wide and filled with betrayal, I knew it was the wrong thing to say.
“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said with a shake of his head. “I mean, that makes it all better, doesn’t it?”
“No, I realize it doesn’t make it better,” I admitted, hating myself as much as he seemed to hate me in that moment.
“You kept me in the dark about a decision that affects both of us,” he said. “Aren’t we supposed to be a team?”
I ducked my head, unable to look him in the eye anymore. “Yes, yes we’re a team. But it isn’t a
decision
, David! It’s not like I woke up and thought, hey a baby would be a great way to trap this dude. It just happened. An accident despite any precautions we were taking to prevent it.”
He let out his breath in a long, frustrated sigh. “Okay, okay so decision is the wrong word. I get that there aren’t exactly Planned Parenthood Clinics operating anymore. But you could have told me in the beginning,” he insisted. “No, you
should
have told me.”
“Oh God, yes, I should have,” I admitted, fighting those tears again. “I should have. But I freaked out at first and didn’t. Then the longer it went, the harder it was to tell you. I wanted to so many times, I started to, but something would always stop me. And then Robbie and Nicole showed up and started talking about world-saving and I panicked.”
“That’s why you hesitated to come here,” Dave breathed, awareness dawning suddenly.
I nodded. “Yes. David, they’re not kidding here. They already have an inoculation, they’re working toward destruction. And I don’t know. If we’re going to have a kid, what’s the right thing for us?”
His mouth turned down into a deep, heavily lined frown that broke my heart. “A kid. Huh.
Will
it be a kid, Sarah?”
“David,” I whispered, because I knew where he was going and it was a place I had been trying to avoid for months.
He didn’t care, he pressed on. “If my DNA was altered by the zombie bite, which everyone says it was, does that mean the second our baby isn’t bean-sized that it will eat you from the inside out?”
“Shit, man,” I said, leaning on the table for support.
The baby already didn’t exactly feel bean-sized, even though I knew it
had
to be from the few peeks at baby books I’d been able to sneak. Hell, sometimes I thought I felt it moving
Finally, he stepped forward. “What. The. Fuck. Sarah.”
His voice was so loud and so strong that it silenced the other two in an instant. There was a moment of shocked silence between us all and then Nadia grabbed Robbie’s arm and began hauling him to the door.
“Come on, kid, let’s go.”
Robbie resisted even as she dragged him out. “But-”
“They need a minute, Jesus,” she said as she shut the door behind them. All the animosity I’d felt when I met her faded in that moment of kindness.
Of course, staring at Dave and his ‘how could you’ face, I sort of wished Nadia and The Kid had stayed and kept it awkward. I preferred awkward right now.
“Are you sure?” he asked, folding his arms as he stared at me like I was a stranger.
I nodded. “I took about twenty of those at-home tests, at all times of the day. They all came back positive.”
I watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple working hard. His hands had started to shake, too. Not good.
“How long have you known?” he asked.
That one was a harder question to answer.
“Um, a couple of months,” I finally whispered. “I found out when we were on the road from Wyoming to Montana. I guess it’s why I’ve gained some weight lately. Remember how you kept joking about all I needed was hamburgers? Well, I didn’t just need hamburgers.”
He clenched his fists on the metal table between us, then turned away.
“Fuck, fuck, mother fucker,” he said, mostly to himself, I guess. Or the world at large. Probably also at me.
“Dave, it’s not like I cheated on you,” I said.
The moment he turned toward me, eyes wide and filled with betrayal, I knew it was the wrong thing to say.
“Well, that’s good to hear,” he said with a shake of his head. “I mean, that makes it all better, doesn’t it?”
“No, I realize it doesn’t make it better,” I admitted, hating myself as much as he seemed to hate me in that moment.
“You kept me in the dark about a decision that affects both of us,” he said. “Aren’t we supposed to be a team?”
I ducked my head, unable to look him in the eye anymore. “Yes, yes we’re a team. But it isn’t a
decision
, David! It’s not like I woke up and thought, hey a baby would be a great way to trap this dude. It just happened. An accident despite any precautions we were taking to prevent it.”
He let out his breath in a long, frustrated sigh. “Okay, okay so decision is the wrong word. I get that there aren’t exactly Planned Parenthood Clinics operating anymore. But you could have told me in the beginning,” he insisted. “No, you
should
have told me.”
“Oh God, yes, I should have,” I admitted, fighting those tears again. “I should have. But I freaked out at first and didn’t. Then the longer it went, the harder it was to tell you. I wanted to so many times, I started to, but something would always stop me. And then Robbie and Nicole showed up and started talking about world-saving and I panicked.”
“That’s why you hesitated to come here,” Dave breathed, awareness dawning suddenly.
I nodded. “Yes. David, they’re not kidding here. They already have an inoculation, they’re working toward destruction. And I don’t know. If we’re going to have a kid, what’s the right thing for us?”
His mouth turned down into a deep, heavily lined frown that broke my heart. “A kid. Huh.
Will
it be a kid, Sarah?”
“David,” I whispered, because I knew where he was going and it was a place I had been trying to avoid for months.
He didn’t care, he pressed on. “If my DNA was altered by the zombie bite, which everyone says it was, does that mean the second our baby isn’t bean-sized that it will eat you from the inside out?”
“Shit, man,” I said, leaning on the table for support.
The baby already didn’t exactly feel bean-sized, even though I knew it
had
to be from the few peeks at baby books I’d been able to sneak. Hell, sometimes I thought I felt it moving
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