like I were a rock star. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mr. Harper. Before I go, do you need anything? Coffee? Soda? We still have two or three donuts, but they’re stale—I can run and get you more if you want.”
I was expecting Mr. Dodd to rebuke Bridget, but instead he said, “Certainly. Marvin, have you eaten? I can send Bridget out to get you a burger, on us. It’s not a problem.”
“I don’t want to impose.”
Bridget said, “Oh no, Mr. Harper, it’s no imposition at all. Whatever you want, just tell me.”
I thought, Does she mean what I think she means? Aloud, I said, “Thanks, but I need to get home.”
That was no lie, I did need to get home. I needed to grab the footlocker’s sticky-note and a USB stick, and warp-drive over to Uncle Warren’s house. His computer was waiting for me.
****
Sometime between twenty and thirty minutes later, I was parking in front of Uncle Warren’s house. Getting out of my car, I saw that Bridget Roberts was standing in the doorway, arguing with two young women.
Those two women each were blond and huge-breasted. One of the blondes I recognized as Sherry Benson.
Chapter 9
I Lose My Virginity
I walked past the blondes and through the doorway like I owned the place. (But more on that later.) I said to Bridget, “What’s going on?”
“These two are Mr. Harper’s girlfriends. They’ve come to take their things out of the house. But I can’t let them do that till the court appoints an executor and he supervises their visits.”
I turned around and faced the blondes. I’ve mentioned that Sherry Benson was blond and ridiculously large-breasted. Well, the other woman had lighter hair and even bigger breasts than Sherry, as well as bee-stung lips. If I didn’t know better, I’d think these two were here to film a lezzie porn video.
I stuck out my hand. “Hello, I’m Marvin Harper. I’m the new owner here, once the legalities get straightened out.”
“ If the court rules in your favor, Mr. Harper,” Bridget said behind me.
I acted like she hadn’t said that. I shook the blondes’ hands and said, “Hello Sherry, it’s good to see you again. And you must be Virgilia?”
Just like with Bridget, each blonde changed her expression as I shook her hand.
I turned around and said to Bridget, “I think we can figure out what in this house belonged to a rich old man, and what belongs to an attractive young woman.” I turned back to the blondes. “Besides, you won’t steal from me , will you?”
“Oh no , Marvin sir,” Virgilia said with feeling.
Sherry said, “You wouldn’t like me if I stole from you.”
I turned back to look at Bridget. “I’m letting them in.”
Bridget didn’t argue at all. “Yes, Mr. Harper, whatever you say, Mr. Harper.”
As soon as I’d shut the front door, Virgilia said to Bridget, “Have you offered Marvin anything to drink?”
“I don’t know what’s available.”
“Tsk,” Sherry said. She turned to me. “What would you like to drink, Marvin sir? The fridge has Foster’s, Kirin, Dos Equis, and St. Pauli Girl.”
“Just bring me a cola , Sherry,” I said.
“Mr. Harper is underage for beer, you ninny,” Bridget said.
Virgilia stepped next to Sherry and glared at Bridget. “Shift your paradigm, pettifogger. The overarching principle in play here is that Marvin deserves to be served, and that transcends even legislative codes and judicial precedents.”
Sherry said, “What’s a ‘pettifogger,’ Virgie? Is she making it foggy outside? I don’t wanna drive back to the motel in fog.”
“Bridget? Virgilia?” I said. “Sherry? Only I may speak disrespectfully to any of you. You must speak nicely to each other.”
Bridget and Virgilia hung their heads. “Sorry, Marvin,” each said.
I turned to Sherry. “Now, go fetch me that cola. Bring it upstairs to wherever Virgilia’s clothes are kept. And Sherry?”
“Yes, Marvin?”
“Sherry, I want you bare to the waist when you hand me that
I was expecting Mr. Dodd to rebuke Bridget, but instead he said, “Certainly. Marvin, have you eaten? I can send Bridget out to get you a burger, on us. It’s not a problem.”
“I don’t want to impose.”
Bridget said, “Oh no, Mr. Harper, it’s no imposition at all. Whatever you want, just tell me.”
I thought, Does she mean what I think she means? Aloud, I said, “Thanks, but I need to get home.”
That was no lie, I did need to get home. I needed to grab the footlocker’s sticky-note and a USB stick, and warp-drive over to Uncle Warren’s house. His computer was waiting for me.
****
Sometime between twenty and thirty minutes later, I was parking in front of Uncle Warren’s house. Getting out of my car, I saw that Bridget Roberts was standing in the doorway, arguing with two young women.
Those two women each were blond and huge-breasted. One of the blondes I recognized as Sherry Benson.
Chapter 9
I Lose My Virginity
I walked past the blondes and through the doorway like I owned the place. (But more on that later.) I said to Bridget, “What’s going on?”
“These two are Mr. Harper’s girlfriends. They’ve come to take their things out of the house. But I can’t let them do that till the court appoints an executor and he supervises their visits.”
I turned around and faced the blondes. I’ve mentioned that Sherry Benson was blond and ridiculously large-breasted. Well, the other woman had lighter hair and even bigger breasts than Sherry, as well as bee-stung lips. If I didn’t know better, I’d think these two were here to film a lezzie porn video.
I stuck out my hand. “Hello, I’m Marvin Harper. I’m the new owner here, once the legalities get straightened out.”
“ If the court rules in your favor, Mr. Harper,” Bridget said behind me.
I acted like she hadn’t said that. I shook the blondes’ hands and said, “Hello Sherry, it’s good to see you again. And you must be Virgilia?”
Just like with Bridget, each blonde changed her expression as I shook her hand.
I turned around and said to Bridget, “I think we can figure out what in this house belonged to a rich old man, and what belongs to an attractive young woman.” I turned back to the blondes. “Besides, you won’t steal from me , will you?”
“Oh no , Marvin sir,” Virgilia said with feeling.
Sherry said, “You wouldn’t like me if I stole from you.”
I turned back to look at Bridget. “I’m letting them in.”
Bridget didn’t argue at all. “Yes, Mr. Harper, whatever you say, Mr. Harper.”
As soon as I’d shut the front door, Virgilia said to Bridget, “Have you offered Marvin anything to drink?”
“I don’t know what’s available.”
“Tsk,” Sherry said. She turned to me. “What would you like to drink, Marvin sir? The fridge has Foster’s, Kirin, Dos Equis, and St. Pauli Girl.”
“Just bring me a cola , Sherry,” I said.
“Mr. Harper is underage for beer, you ninny,” Bridget said.
Virgilia stepped next to Sherry and glared at Bridget. “Shift your paradigm, pettifogger. The overarching principle in play here is that Marvin deserves to be served, and that transcends even legislative codes and judicial precedents.”
Sherry said, “What’s a ‘pettifogger,’ Virgie? Is she making it foggy outside? I don’t wanna drive back to the motel in fog.”
“Bridget? Virgilia?” I said. “Sherry? Only I may speak disrespectfully to any of you. You must speak nicely to each other.”
Bridget and Virgilia hung their heads. “Sorry, Marvin,” each said.
I turned to Sherry. “Now, go fetch me that cola. Bring it upstairs to wherever Virgilia’s clothes are kept. And Sherry?”
“Yes, Marvin?”
“Sherry, I want you bare to the waist when you hand me that
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