night out in quite some time.
Subtlety was definitely not a priority for this crew, but judging from the look on Eric’s face, they could tell they might have gone a little too far.
“Aw, she’ll be cool,” DJ assured him, reeling the conversation back. “She’s got plenty to keep her busy.”
“What do you mean?” Eric asked, taken aback.
“Damen,” Mike explained indelicately. “He’s the whole reason she’s here.”
“She died trying to hook up with him,” DJ continued. “Good thing too, or we’d all still be there.”
“Yeah, good thing,” Eric mumbled.
The entire office staff arrived on time for a change. All were anxious to hear from Markov. All except for Charlotte, that is.
She snuck a nervous peek at Eric, as she usually did, and he nodded back and smiled, which she hoped was a good sign.
A not-so-good sign was that her Dead Ed teacher Mr. Brain wasn’t there. His presence was always comforting, especially for Charlotte, but his absence was not exactly surprising. After all, his most recent graduates had just arrived on campus, and he really only showed up for super-special occasions now.
Charlotte figured this return engagement that Markov had booked for them probably didn’t qualify. They’d been told they were going back, but not much else. It was all very mysterious, and the tension in the room was palpable.
“Today,” Markov began, “is the first day of the rest of your afterlives.”
The audible groan from the Eric-Mike-DJ section in the back was contagious and, not surprisingly, Markov quickly began to lose the room. He sounded like a personality-challenged straight-A student giving a hackneyed valedictory address. Bor-ing.
“That’s original,” Eric, who had set himself up as a bit of a nemesis to Markov, opined sarcastically.
“Yeah,” Charlotte continued. “Should we remember to always reach for the stars and follow our dreams too?”
Chuckles rolled through the room, but not from Pam and Prue, who found the back talk irresponsible and really out of character for Charlotte. Eric was always a bit of a class clown, but for Charlotte, this was virgin territory.
“Trying to impress the boyfriend?” Pam chided Charlotte dryly.
“That’s original,” Prue concurred. “What a rebel.”
Given the divisive mood in the room, it was clear that Markov was not the best person to deliver this message, but he was not easily deterred. He not only commanded their attention, he demanded it. Markov took all this very seriously, and after a false start, the interns began to as well.
“I have a question,” Call Me Kim announced, thrusting her arm up, before Markov could utter another word. “Are we being promoted or fired?”
Kim had been an A student in life, a team player in Dead Ed, and an exemplary employee at the phone bank. As a firm advocate of the merit system, she could not imagine being replaced on a whim. So maybe it was neither. Maybe this was what the end was: obsolescence. The new kids had arrived to man the phones, and they were no longer needed.
“I know you are all a little confused,” Markov offered.
“That’s like saying Silent Violet is a little quiet,” Charlotte huffed.
“Don’t drag me into this,” Violet demurred, seeking to remain neutral.
“Change is a part of life,” Markov said. “Of learning, of growth.”
“And death?” Charlotte queried, frustrated. “You don’t grow after you’re dead?”
“Not true,” CoCo interjected, peeking out from her Hermes scarf. “Your hair and nails do.”
“Coooooool,” Metal Mike droned, imagining his hairy, jagged-toed corpse busy transforming into a human can opener in its casket.
“But what if you’re all changed already?” Charlotte pressed. “What do we get then? Just to… rest in peace?”
“Don’t you know the answer to that question by now, Charlotte?” Markov continued. “Resting in peace is a fantasy created to placate the living.” He paused. “Not the
Subtlety was definitely not a priority for this crew, but judging from the look on Eric’s face, they could tell they might have gone a little too far.
“Aw, she’ll be cool,” DJ assured him, reeling the conversation back. “She’s got plenty to keep her busy.”
“What do you mean?” Eric asked, taken aback.
“Damen,” Mike explained indelicately. “He’s the whole reason she’s here.”
“She died trying to hook up with him,” DJ continued. “Good thing too, or we’d all still be there.”
“Yeah, good thing,” Eric mumbled.
The entire office staff arrived on time for a change. All were anxious to hear from Markov. All except for Charlotte, that is.
She snuck a nervous peek at Eric, as she usually did, and he nodded back and smiled, which she hoped was a good sign.
A not-so-good sign was that her Dead Ed teacher Mr. Brain wasn’t there. His presence was always comforting, especially for Charlotte, but his absence was not exactly surprising. After all, his most recent graduates had just arrived on campus, and he really only showed up for super-special occasions now.
Charlotte figured this return engagement that Markov had booked for them probably didn’t qualify. They’d been told they were going back, but not much else. It was all very mysterious, and the tension in the room was palpable.
“Today,” Markov began, “is the first day of the rest of your afterlives.”
The audible groan from the Eric-Mike-DJ section in the back was contagious and, not surprisingly, Markov quickly began to lose the room. He sounded like a personality-challenged straight-A student giving a hackneyed valedictory address. Bor-ing.
“That’s original,” Eric, who had set himself up as a bit of a nemesis to Markov, opined sarcastically.
“Yeah,” Charlotte continued. “Should we remember to always reach for the stars and follow our dreams too?”
Chuckles rolled through the room, but not from Pam and Prue, who found the back talk irresponsible and really out of character for Charlotte. Eric was always a bit of a class clown, but for Charlotte, this was virgin territory.
“Trying to impress the boyfriend?” Pam chided Charlotte dryly.
“That’s original,” Prue concurred. “What a rebel.”
Given the divisive mood in the room, it was clear that Markov was not the best person to deliver this message, but he was not easily deterred. He not only commanded their attention, he demanded it. Markov took all this very seriously, and after a false start, the interns began to as well.
“I have a question,” Call Me Kim announced, thrusting her arm up, before Markov could utter another word. “Are we being promoted or fired?”
Kim had been an A student in life, a team player in Dead Ed, and an exemplary employee at the phone bank. As a firm advocate of the merit system, she could not imagine being replaced on a whim. So maybe it was neither. Maybe this was what the end was: obsolescence. The new kids had arrived to man the phones, and they were no longer needed.
“I know you are all a little confused,” Markov offered.
“That’s like saying Silent Violet is a little quiet,” Charlotte huffed.
“Don’t drag me into this,” Violet demurred, seeking to remain neutral.
“Change is a part of life,” Markov said. “Of learning, of growth.”
“And death?” Charlotte queried, frustrated. “You don’t grow after you’re dead?”
“Not true,” CoCo interjected, peeking out from her Hermes scarf. “Your hair and nails do.”
“Coooooool,” Metal Mike droned, imagining his hairy, jagged-toed corpse busy transforming into a human can opener in its casket.
“But what if you’re all changed already?” Charlotte pressed. “What do we get then? Just to… rest in peace?”
“Don’t you know the answer to that question by now, Charlotte?” Markov continued. “Resting in peace is a fantasy created to placate the living.” He paused. “Not the
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