Totally Joe by James Howe

it?
    blackbirdboy: going trick-or-treating, the party, everybody’s costumes. Justin told her it sounded lame
    phonehome217: How do you know what Justin said?
    blackbirdboy: Justin told Drew & drew told me
    phonehome217: oh / Justin and drew are speaking to each other?
    blackbirdboy: yeah, they’re good friends
    phonehome217: weird
    blackbirdboy: when I got home on friday you know what my dad said? He said, what are you supposed to be? I told him Bert. He said, from Sesame Street? That’s kind of gay, isn’t it? My own DAD said it!
    phonehome217: why would he say that? He’s supposed to be a grown-up!
    blackbirdboy: meaning?
    phonehome217: meaning grown-ups aren’t supposed to call things gay
    blackbirdboy: I think my dad’s got a hang-up about it.
    phonehome217: Why?
    blackbirdboy: He always says these things. Like what he said about Paul the decorator, remember?
    phonehome217: yeah. so what did you say back?
    blackbirdboy: nothing. it made me feel sick, really sick, like I was going to throw up
    phonehome217: DID YOU?
    blackbirdboy: no, but I ran upstairs and got out of that costume real fast
    phonehome217: is that why you’re not speaking 2 me?
    blackbirdboy: I’m not not speaking to you / I just needed to think about stuff
    phonehome217: RU about to break up with me? Because if you are you should do it in person or at least on the phone!!!!!!!!!
    blackbirdboy: I AM NOT BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!!!!
    phonehome217: but you wouldn’t talk to me at the party and you didn’t call me back
    blackbirdboy: can I tell you something? will you shut up and not interrupt me and be all worried I’m going to break up with you?
    phonehome217: moi? shut up?
    blackbirdboy: I’m waiting
    phonehome217: ok ok
    blackbirdboy: ok … so … here’s what I think / you’ve had lots of time to know what it’s like being gay. Because you were always different and maybe it was just obvious to youthat’s what you were. I just figured it out last year and at first I was all like no this can’t be me, I can’t be this way! but then I
    blackbirdboy: saw a couple of gay characters on tv and I thought how they could be me and then I read this book with these three teenage guys figuring out they were gay and one of them was so much like me I couldn’t believe it and then there were these signals. Like, I love playing sports but part of it is that I like being
    blackbirdboy: with other guys so much and then there were these other feelings
    phonehome217: I know what you mean
    blackbirdboy: yeah well it kind of scared me to have those feelings, but then I guessed that even though we were different in lots of ways maybe you had the same kinds of feelings and the more I watched you the more I thought you were pretty cool and I wished I could be like you AND DON’T INTERRUPT ME. the thing is that even if
    blackbirdboy: I can handle what it feels like to be gay inside I don’t know if I can handle what other people do with it. I think maybe it was a mistake to have dressed up like we did and it was a BOG mistake to hold hands like that. It was stupid
    phonehome217: thanx a lot / and what do you mean a BOG mistake?
    blackbirdboy: sorry / a BIG mistake / and you know what I mean and I don’t mean I think we’re stupid or you’re stupid / I mean it was stupid to hold hands like that
    phonehome217: “I want to hold your hand.” The Beatles
    blackbirdboy: “Take these broken wings and learn to fly.” The Beatles
    phonehome217: what’s that from
    blackbirdboy: “Blackbird”
    phonehome217: so that’s why you’re blackbirdboy
    blackbirdboy: yeah, it’s my fave beatles song and you’re phonehome because of E.T.—but why 217?
    phonehome217: birthday—feb 17
    blackbirdboy: I knew that
    phonehome217: you did?
    blackbirdboy: sure. Last year—remember?
    phonehome217: yeah, you said a little bird told you. who was