Totally Joe by James Howe Page A

…?
    blackbirdboy: “blackbird singing in the dead of night”
    phonehome217: ?????
    blackbirdboy: I’m the bird who told me. I saw it on a paper in the school office one time
    phonehome217: when you wished me happy birthday I couldn’t believe it. You were my birthday wish
    blackbirdboy: wow! really?
    phonehome217: no, I’m lying. YES REALLY! So when is your bday?
    blackbirdboy: aug. 2
    phonehome217: You’re a LEO?!?!?!?!
    blackbirdboy: why is that surprising?
    phonehome217: you don’t seem like a leo. I should be a Leo and you should be me—Aquarius
    blackbirdboy: do you believe in that stuff?
    phonehome217: not really
    blackbirdboy: what do you want for your birthday?
    phonehome217: “I want to hold your hand.” The Beatles
    blackbirdboy: “I am only waiting for the moment to be free.” The Beatles
    phonehome217: huh?
    blackbirdboy: i’m not ready to hold hands—in public and stuff. I’m sorry, ‘cause I know you want to be more “out of the closet” and all that
    phonehome217: it’s okay
    blackbirdboy: really?
    phonehome217: yeah, I’ll just have to wait until your moment to be free. hey, isn’t it weird that we both know so much about the Beatles and E.T. and Bert and Ernie? Are we like retro or something
    blackbirdboy: I guess
    phonehome217: so how about those Yankees huh?
    blackbirdboy: WHAT?
    phonehome217: I ran out of things to say. Do you wish I liked sports?
    blackbirdboy: no. do you wish I wanted to get my ear pierced like you do?
    phonehome217: DO YOU WANT TO? Next weekend, we could do it!
    blackbirdboy: Repeat: DO YOU WISH I WANTED TO GET MY EAR PIERCED (WHICH I DO NOT)?
    phonehome217: I kind of do, but it’s ok
    blackbirdboy: my dad’s yelling at me to get off the computer. I’ll see you in school tomorrow ok?
    phonehome217: ok
    blackbirdboy: so like sweet dreams and stuff ok?
    phonehome217: U2
    blackbirdboy: hey ernie
    phonehome217: what is it bert
    blackbirdboy: Ernie, you’ve got a banana in your ear
    phonehome217: I’m sorry, Bert. I can’t hear you. I’ve got a banana in my ear.
    blackbirdboy: LOL
    phonehome217: LOL TTFN
    blackbirdboy: TTFN
    LIFE LESSON (OR QUESTION) : There’s a song (not the Beatles) that says we’re “born free,” so how come we have to wait?

J is for
JOE
    OKAY. I’M SURE J COULD BE FOR OTHER THINGS, BUT THIS IS
MY
ALPHABIOGRAPHY, SO J
HAS
TO BE for Joe. The only problem is, I don’t know what to write. I just finished IM-ing with Colin, and that’s all I can think about.
    Well, maybe not all. I’m thinking about tomorrow, too. Monday. Back to school. Wondering if Kevin and Jimmy will say anything about seeing Colin and me holding hands.
    Oh. My. God. What if they
do?
    I may have to call in dead.
    Soooo … to get my mind off Colin (♥) and Kevin and Jimmy ()… I’m going to go interview my parents about when I was a baby and stuff. Maybe that will help me figure out what to write.
J is for Joe: The Early Years
    I, Joseph Daniel Bunch, was born twelve years and almost nine months ago in a hospital in Albany, New York. My mother says I looked straight into her eyes when we met, so she knew right off I was going to be special. (She just didn’t know
how
special, right?) My dad says the first time he saw me I was so skinny he called me “String Bean.” Those were his first words to me: string bean. Nice.
    My first word was “poo.” I know what you’re thinking, but you are so wrong. It was because I had a Winnie-the-Pooh doll that I took everywhere with me. I still have him. He’s my favorite of all my stuffed animals. And, yes, I still have all my stuffed animals and I don’t care who knows it! (Except maybe Kevin and Jimmy.)
    According to my mom, I showed an early “creative flair,” meaning that I liked dressing up and playing make-believe from when I was very little. She said she