promise of soaring on a killer high had before.
Then he laughed, aware he sounded crazy, because he was. “And if there’s anything that’ll drive a man to drink, it’s overwhelming regret. So you see my problem, huh?”
“I know something about that and what it can do to a person, yes.” She inched nearer, now putting her arms around his waist loosely as she laid her good cheek on his sternum. He hugged her back, glad for the contact. “Not mine, personally. Sort of. My mom blames herself for my father’s death. He was killed when Nola and I were little.”
Gavyn couldn’t help himself. He began to rock her from side to side, almost as if they were slow dancing without music. “I’m sorry. That must have been horrible.”
“It was a tragedy, but I’m not sure it was intentional. Sometimes shit just happens, you know?” She fisted her hands in the back of his onyx tank top. “She believes some people who had been harassing them drove him off the road. Because she’s black, and he was white. And those fuckwads were ignorant.”
“Son of a bitch.” Gavyn suddenly felt like his issues were petty by comparison.
“You know what? Even if that’s true, it’s still not like it’s her fault. She didn’t ask them to harm him. She didn’t preach hate or pass judgment about what kind of love is sacred and which is an abomination, as if any variety could be. It still didn’t stop her from wasting decades of her life. Hell, she’s about to blow her chance with Tom for something more.” Amber sighed. “Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to end up exactly like her because I don’t know how to take chances. I never had the luxury of falling on my face considering my family was counting on me.”
“You could try to let go of some of those rules now,” he offered. “I’ll help you up, if you’ll do the same for me when I crash and burn. Maybe we’ll both find out these missteps aren’t fatal.”
When confronted with the possibility, she backpedaled some, whipping out her bravado like a shield instead of wielding the genuine emotion she’d allowed him to glimpse moments before. “I’m not that afraid of failure.”
“Fine. Prove it,” he dared. “Take a risk. Do something impulsive. Unplanned. With me. Let’s show ourselves that the world won’t end if we do.”
“Right now?” she squeaked.
“Kind of the definition of spontaneous.” He chuckled. “I’ll make it easy for you. Let go. I’ll take care of you. I get the feeling no one’s done that. Maybe ever. You were looking out for Nola, and yourself, and your mom. I get that. But, newsflash: Love, they’re doing great. It’s you who has them worried now. I could see it when we walked in last night.”
“Because I’d just gotten in a car accident, that’s all.”
“It’s part of it, of course. But not all . No.” He shook his head. “They’re concerned about you and how you’re handling everything changing around you.”
“Great. Now I’ve got to be more careful when I’m near them?” She wilted in his hold.
“Or you could be more honest,” Gavyn said, recapping Tom’s earlier advice to him. “Starting right now, with me. You want me, don’t you? At least half as much as I want you, I’d wager.”
She drew in a quick breath. Her nails dug into the muscles at his shoulders for a moment before she looked up and admitted it with a rueful twist to her perfect lips. “At least.”
“Thank you,” he moaned as he lowered his head and sealed their mouths together briefly. “So let me practice on you. This is a new thing for me too. Responsibility for someone else and their happiness. Giving a damn about my partner beyond supplying the fuck of a lifetime.”
“It’s so hot when you’re modest.” She laughed.
“Hey, I promised to be truthful.” He flashed her a wicked grin. Because this he didn’t doubt. He knew his way around a woman’s body. No one had ever accused him of being a bad lover. “So, what
Then he laughed, aware he sounded crazy, because he was. “And if there’s anything that’ll drive a man to drink, it’s overwhelming regret. So you see my problem, huh?”
“I know something about that and what it can do to a person, yes.” She inched nearer, now putting her arms around his waist loosely as she laid her good cheek on his sternum. He hugged her back, glad for the contact. “Not mine, personally. Sort of. My mom blames herself for my father’s death. He was killed when Nola and I were little.”
Gavyn couldn’t help himself. He began to rock her from side to side, almost as if they were slow dancing without music. “I’m sorry. That must have been horrible.”
“It was a tragedy, but I’m not sure it was intentional. Sometimes shit just happens, you know?” She fisted her hands in the back of his onyx tank top. “She believes some people who had been harassing them drove him off the road. Because she’s black, and he was white. And those fuckwads were ignorant.”
“Son of a bitch.” Gavyn suddenly felt like his issues were petty by comparison.
“You know what? Even if that’s true, it’s still not like it’s her fault. She didn’t ask them to harm him. She didn’t preach hate or pass judgment about what kind of love is sacred and which is an abomination, as if any variety could be. It still didn’t stop her from wasting decades of her life. Hell, she’s about to blow her chance with Tom for something more.” Amber sighed. “Sometimes I’m afraid I’m going to end up exactly like her because I don’t know how to take chances. I never had the luxury of falling on my face considering my family was counting on me.”
“You could try to let go of some of those rules now,” he offered. “I’ll help you up, if you’ll do the same for me when I crash and burn. Maybe we’ll both find out these missteps aren’t fatal.”
When confronted with the possibility, she backpedaled some, whipping out her bravado like a shield instead of wielding the genuine emotion she’d allowed him to glimpse moments before. “I’m not that afraid of failure.”
“Fine. Prove it,” he dared. “Take a risk. Do something impulsive. Unplanned. With me. Let’s show ourselves that the world won’t end if we do.”
“Right now?” she squeaked.
“Kind of the definition of spontaneous.” He chuckled. “I’ll make it easy for you. Let go. I’ll take care of you. I get the feeling no one’s done that. Maybe ever. You were looking out for Nola, and yourself, and your mom. I get that. But, newsflash: Love, they’re doing great. It’s you who has them worried now. I could see it when we walked in last night.”
“Because I’d just gotten in a car accident, that’s all.”
“It’s part of it, of course. But not all . No.” He shook his head. “They’re concerned about you and how you’re handling everything changing around you.”
“Great. Now I’ve got to be more careful when I’m near them?” She wilted in his hold.
“Or you could be more honest,” Gavyn said, recapping Tom’s earlier advice to him. “Starting right now, with me. You want me, don’t you? At least half as much as I want you, I’d wager.”
She drew in a quick breath. Her nails dug into the muscles at his shoulders for a moment before she looked up and admitted it with a rueful twist to her perfect lips. “At least.”
“Thank you,” he moaned as he lowered his head and sealed their mouths together briefly. “So let me practice on you. This is a new thing for me too. Responsibility for someone else and their happiness. Giving a damn about my partner beyond supplying the fuck of a lifetime.”
“It’s so hot when you’re modest.” She laughed.
“Hey, I promised to be truthful.” He flashed her a wicked grin. Because this he didn’t doubt. He knew his way around a woman’s body. No one had ever accused him of being a bad lover. “So, what
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