doubts of his
own. The problem was, his doubts stemmed from mine. He lacked confidence in
our relationship, but not because he wasn't prepared to cultivate it. His
vested interest was clearly apparent but my uncertainty was clear too. So we
rode out the day apprehensive and tense as both of us anticipated the future.
The following thirty-six hours were frenzied but pleasant as we
made our way back to Singapore. The obscure detoured route we had chosen for
transportation, distracted us from all that had preoccupied us for the last few
days. We flew from Bali to Jakarta, Jakarta to Batam, and boated from Batam
back to the port in Singapore. We had opted for the inconvenience to save a
few bucks and it had quietly paid off in other ways.
Singapore struck us as an unspoiled paradise compared to the less
developed parts of Indonesia. It seemed like an eternity that we had been gone,
and it had not even been three weeks. We rushed back to the Westin, the hotel
where I was staying, as we still had a wedding to attend. I had promised Alex,
a new but close friend, that we'd come if we returned to Singapore on time. Alex
worked in Singapore, at the FUN office, and I felt that I wanted to go.
We showered and dressed and made it to the Hilton exactly on
schedule. Both Alex and his fiancé Mei Lin were Chinese Singaporeans and the
ceremonial traditions reflected it. The food was exotic and tastefully done,
with elegant Asian influence. Our attire was semi-formal like everyone else, a
contrast to our vacation dress. An hour into the affair it was difficult to
conceive that we had been in Indonesia that morning. I thought about Tristan and
all that transpired and already it was fading into a dream. The urgency to see
him was diminishing and the reality somewhat blurred, but the environment
impacted what I was feeling. After travels through Indonesia, Singapore felt
like New York to me, and I was confident New York would feel like another
world. The evening ended festively as Jordan and I said good-bye to Alex, Mei
Lin and to each other. We were flying home separately, as previously planned,
and his flight was early the next morning.
The bed beside me was empty in the morning and I realized that his
bags were gone. It was an abrupt ending to our trip, although his departure
had been planned, and the pit in my stomach grew larger. A discussion was
imminent when we returned to New York, but I had a long trip ahead of me before
that. My flight was scheduled only twelve hours after Jordan's but the
separation had already felt endless. I couldn't honestly say that I felt
lonely for him, but his absence was undeniably noticed. Yet, with his absence
came a strong sense of freedom, a feeling that I had yearned for, for weeks.
My flight to New York was boarding. I took a deep breath and
walked to the window to record a mental picture of the land. So much had
changed from the day I arrived it was hard to think back to that time. It
wasn't a transformation of the physical surroundings but an awakening that had
transpired within me. The outdoors, the greenery and the beauty of Asia played
an integral part of it happening. The natural subtleties of the distant
terrain made me feel alive and free.
"Flight 1322 to New York is now boarding. This will be the
last call," they announced.
As I inhaled the palm trees, the flowers and the air, I could feel
the new person inside of me. The growth that I felt had culminated with ease
and not solely due to the man that I had met. My stay in Singapore had given
me a lot, an evolution I'd never forget. As my mind began to wander and I
privately reminisced, they began to close the door to the plane.
Seven hours had passed, already in route, and the flight had six
more to go. We would be landing in Brussels for a one hour layover before the
connecting flight to New York. I had never even bothered to look at my ticket
as I had flown the
own. The problem was, his doubts stemmed from mine. He lacked confidence in
our relationship, but not because he wasn't prepared to cultivate it. His
vested interest was clearly apparent but my uncertainty was clear too. So we
rode out the day apprehensive and tense as both of us anticipated the future.
The following thirty-six hours were frenzied but pleasant as we
made our way back to Singapore. The obscure detoured route we had chosen for
transportation, distracted us from all that had preoccupied us for the last few
days. We flew from Bali to Jakarta, Jakarta to Batam, and boated from Batam
back to the port in Singapore. We had opted for the inconvenience to save a
few bucks and it had quietly paid off in other ways.
Singapore struck us as an unspoiled paradise compared to the less
developed parts of Indonesia. It seemed like an eternity that we had been gone,
and it had not even been three weeks. We rushed back to the Westin, the hotel
where I was staying, as we still had a wedding to attend. I had promised Alex,
a new but close friend, that we'd come if we returned to Singapore on time. Alex
worked in Singapore, at the FUN office, and I felt that I wanted to go.
We showered and dressed and made it to the Hilton exactly on
schedule. Both Alex and his fiancé Mei Lin were Chinese Singaporeans and the
ceremonial traditions reflected it. The food was exotic and tastefully done,
with elegant Asian influence. Our attire was semi-formal like everyone else, a
contrast to our vacation dress. An hour into the affair it was difficult to
conceive that we had been in Indonesia that morning. I thought about Tristan and
all that transpired and already it was fading into a dream. The urgency to see
him was diminishing and the reality somewhat blurred, but the environment
impacted what I was feeling. After travels through Indonesia, Singapore felt
like New York to me, and I was confident New York would feel like another
world. The evening ended festively as Jordan and I said good-bye to Alex, Mei
Lin and to each other. We were flying home separately, as previously planned,
and his flight was early the next morning.
The bed beside me was empty in the morning and I realized that his
bags were gone. It was an abrupt ending to our trip, although his departure
had been planned, and the pit in my stomach grew larger. A discussion was
imminent when we returned to New York, but I had a long trip ahead of me before
that. My flight was scheduled only twelve hours after Jordan's but the
separation had already felt endless. I couldn't honestly say that I felt
lonely for him, but his absence was undeniably noticed. Yet, with his absence
came a strong sense of freedom, a feeling that I had yearned for, for weeks.
My flight to New York was boarding. I took a deep breath and
walked to the window to record a mental picture of the land. So much had
changed from the day I arrived it was hard to think back to that time. It
wasn't a transformation of the physical surroundings but an awakening that had
transpired within me. The outdoors, the greenery and the beauty of Asia played
an integral part of it happening. The natural subtleties of the distant
terrain made me feel alive and free.
"Flight 1322 to New York is now boarding. This will be the
last call," they announced.
As I inhaled the palm trees, the flowers and the air, I could feel
the new person inside of me. The growth that I felt had culminated with ease
and not solely due to the man that I had met. My stay in Singapore had given
me a lot, an evolution I'd never forget. As my mind began to wander and I
privately reminisced, they began to close the door to the plane.
Seven hours had passed, already in route, and the flight had six
more to go. We would be landing in Brussels for a one hour layover before the
connecting flight to New York. I had never even bothered to look at my ticket
as I had flown the
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