didn’t understand half of what they were talking about when it came to the Bible. But on this day, she listened. The teacher mentioned repentance of sin, including sexual sins, and God’s forgiveness. The word saved was used several times. Saved by grace? Saved from what? Saved from sin? The confusion only added to the uneasy feelings she’d been dealing with.
It didn’t help that Sean sat across the room from her in that very class. She was sure the teacher’s words were affecting him, too, because he looked incredibly uncomfortable. She stared at him, hoping he would make eye contact, but as soon as the class ended, he was out the door before she could attempt to catch up to him.
When she returned to the dorm that afternoon, she could no longer contain her emotions. She climbed into bed, hid under the covers, and cried into her pillow.
What is wrong with me? Why won’t Sean talk to me? What did I do wrong?
Never had she felt so confused or hurt by a guy. She let it all out until there were no tears left to cry.
When Maggie and Emma arrived after lunch, she tried to pretend to be asleep, but the pile of tissues on the floor gave her away.
The bed sank a little as Maggie sat down next to her.
Emma laid a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Michelle?”
She rolled over to look at them, revealing her puffy, red eyes. Tears filled them again.
“Michelle, what is it?” Maggie’s voice was filled with concern.
“I had sex with Sean,” she blurted.
Neither girl spoke, and Michelle could have sworn Emma’s cheeks matched the fuzzy pink pillow on the end of her bed. The room was dead quiet, except for the hum of the fluorescent lights.
Maggie jumped up to make sure the door was firmly closed.
“Um, did he … pressure you into it?” Emma stuttered.
Michelle shook her head.
Emma swallowed nervously. She had clearly never had friends who were sexually active before.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You know you could get kicked out of school for this,” Emma mumbled.
Michelle knew full well this sort of thing was unacceptable at a Christian college. Premarital sex was against their beliefs, and every student there had signed an agreement to live in accordance with a Christian lifestyle. Although, Michelle had mostly skimmed through that part of the application.
Maggie sat next to Michelle again. “Are you OK? I mean, were you … safe?” She had trouble getting out the last word.
Michelle nodded. “Yeah, and I’m on the pill.”
Emma was clearly fidgeting now.
“We don’t have to talk about this.” Michelle wiped leftover tears from her cheeks.
“Yes, we do,” Maggie replied.
“I’m sorry, Michelle.” Emma had tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should just let you two talk.”
“It’s OK, Emma. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
Emma walked over and hugged her. She took a few steps toward the door, then turned. “I’m gonna pray for you, Michelle.”
The last person to say that to her was her grandmother, but it came with only condescension and judgment. It was different coming from Emma. It was honest and kind and the sweetest thing she could have said.
“Thanks, Emma.”
Once they were alone, Maggie took a deep breath and let it out. “So, I’m assuming since you’re on the pill this isn’t your first time.”
Michelle shook her head. “But it’s never been like this before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been with some real losers, but Sean is so great. I like him so much. I feel like I should be celebrating or something, but his reaction was not what I expected.”
“What did he do?”
“After we …” She paused, not wanting to say it again, and Maggie motioned for her to continue. “He looked at me, like really looked into my eyes. He looked so sad.” The sadness in his eyes had penetrated all the way to her bones. She had never experienced anything like it. Another
It didn’t help that Sean sat across the room from her in that very class. She was sure the teacher’s words were affecting him, too, because he looked incredibly uncomfortable. She stared at him, hoping he would make eye contact, but as soon as the class ended, he was out the door before she could attempt to catch up to him.
When she returned to the dorm that afternoon, she could no longer contain her emotions. She climbed into bed, hid under the covers, and cried into her pillow.
What is wrong with me? Why won’t Sean talk to me? What did I do wrong?
Never had she felt so confused or hurt by a guy. She let it all out until there were no tears left to cry.
When Maggie and Emma arrived after lunch, she tried to pretend to be asleep, but the pile of tissues on the floor gave her away.
The bed sank a little as Maggie sat down next to her.
Emma laid a hand on her shoulder. “What’s wrong, Michelle?”
She rolled over to look at them, revealing her puffy, red eyes. Tears filled them again.
“Michelle, what is it?” Maggie’s voice was filled with concern.
“I had sex with Sean,” she blurted.
Neither girl spoke, and Michelle could have sworn Emma’s cheeks matched the fuzzy pink pillow on the end of her bed. The room was dead quiet, except for the hum of the fluorescent lights.
Maggie jumped up to make sure the door was firmly closed.
“Um, did he … pressure you into it?” Emma stuttered.
Michelle shook her head.
Emma swallowed nervously. She had clearly never had friends who were sexually active before.
“I’m sorry, Emma. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You know you could get kicked out of school for this,” Emma mumbled.
Michelle knew full well this sort of thing was unacceptable at a Christian college. Premarital sex was against their beliefs, and every student there had signed an agreement to live in accordance with a Christian lifestyle. Although, Michelle had mostly skimmed through that part of the application.
Maggie sat next to Michelle again. “Are you OK? I mean, were you … safe?” She had trouble getting out the last word.
Michelle nodded. “Yeah, and I’m on the pill.”
Emma was clearly fidgeting now.
“We don’t have to talk about this.” Michelle wiped leftover tears from her cheeks.
“Yes, we do,” Maggie replied.
“I’m sorry, Michelle.” Emma had tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should just let you two talk.”
“It’s OK, Emma. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
Emma walked over and hugged her. She took a few steps toward the door, then turned. “I’m gonna pray for you, Michelle.”
The last person to say that to her was her grandmother, but it came with only condescension and judgment. It was different coming from Emma. It was honest and kind and the sweetest thing she could have said.
“Thanks, Emma.”
Once they were alone, Maggie took a deep breath and let it out. “So, I’m assuming since you’re on the pill this isn’t your first time.”
Michelle shook her head. “But it’s never been like this before.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been with some real losers, but Sean is so great. I like him so much. I feel like I should be celebrating or something, but his reaction was not what I expected.”
“What did he do?”
“After we …” She paused, not wanting to say it again, and Maggie motioned for her to continue. “He looked at me, like really looked into my eyes. He looked so sad.” The sadness in his eyes had penetrated all the way to her bones. She had never experienced anything like it. Another
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