then I'll pick it up next week?"
I see disappointment wash over her face. I feel badly but there's no way I can have that painting in my apartment tonight. The emotional burden of its reminder is more than I can bear. I just want to go home, shut the world off and wish the past year of my life away.
"I'll bring it over on Monday night," she offers through a forced smile. "I'll bring Cory too. He likes hanging out at your place."
The suggestion that she bring her stepson is welcome. She typically only brings him with her when we're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. It's a subtle, yet telling, clue that she's not happy with me.
"I love you, Sadie." I pull her into a close embrace. "Thank you for everything. I loved my party."
She kisses my cheek softly before she pulls away. "This year is going to be amazing for you, Alexa. I can feel it."
I smile at her through heavy eyes. All I can feel is numbness and regret. Next year, I need to remind myself to insist on a party free birthday.
Chapter 14
I love Boston. I've always felt safe here. The ten block walk from Axel to my apartment is the perfect retreat from the suffocating evening I've had. I just need to soak in the cool night air, revel in the weekend crowds, and take a few deep breaths. Brighton's words are haunting me. I want to drop them at the side of the road and watch a bus trail over them, but they're in my brain, firmly encased.
I hear a loud roar behind me. I stop briefly to glance back. My eye latches on a crowd. The mix of men and women, my age, is a dull reminder of my college days. Now, that I'm getting out of bed and going to work each day, I feel more grown-up. The constant reminder that a lecture hall afforded me of my uncomplicated youth seems so foreign. My life has changed so much. I feel like one version of me boarded the plane bound for Paris and another stepped back onto American soil. I long for who I used to be, pre-Beck.
I watch as the crowd disperses after they've finished greeting another group that just arrived. One man, standing off in the distance, is misplaced. His clothing is thick and heavy for the warm night air. The baseball cap that is pulled over his brow conceals his face. He's dark, mysterious and as my father would say, "he's the reason you shouldn't walk alone at night."
I quicken my pace as I turn off the main street to begin the three block trek to the tiny walk up apartment I'd been living in it since I graduated from high school. The meager salary I had brought home when I worked at Star Bistro with Sadie wasn't enough to cover half of my rent, but the tips had given me the cushion I needed. I loved the independence being away from home gave me. More than that, I loved the solitude.
I sense a presence behind me and I turn quickly. The man with the ball cap is there, following my traveled path. I walk as fast as my heels will allow, longing for the security of my building. I fish in my bag for my cell phone, readying it in case I need to call for help.
I breathe a heavy sigh of relief as I see the dim light of my building just up the block. It's the only place in the world I feel safe anymore. The moment I returned from Paris, I went to my apartment, locking the door behind me for three full days before I reached out to anyone. I'd wept, grieved for the loss of Brighton's love and pulled all the strength I needed to face all my friends and family without a tear in sight.
I fumble with my key, pushing it into the heavy glass door. I scoot inside before it clicks to a locking position behind me. My eyes trail a path at the man in the ball cap as he crosses the street. I watch silently as a woman standing in front of a building there embraces him, pulling the cap off his head, revealing short white hair. They clasp hands tightly as they disappear into the distance. My unwarranted fear is more tied to Brighton's shocking presence than the man on the street. I have to calm my nerves down. I have to get a grip so I
I see disappointment wash over her face. I feel badly but there's no way I can have that painting in my apartment tonight. The emotional burden of its reminder is more than I can bear. I just want to go home, shut the world off and wish the past year of my life away.
"I'll bring it over on Monday night," she offers through a forced smile. "I'll bring Cory too. He likes hanging out at your place."
The suggestion that she bring her stepson is welcome. She typically only brings him with her when we're not seeing eye-to-eye on something. It's a subtle, yet telling, clue that she's not happy with me.
"I love you, Sadie." I pull her into a close embrace. "Thank you for everything. I loved my party."
She kisses my cheek softly before she pulls away. "This year is going to be amazing for you, Alexa. I can feel it."
I smile at her through heavy eyes. All I can feel is numbness and regret. Next year, I need to remind myself to insist on a party free birthday.
Chapter 14
I love Boston. I've always felt safe here. The ten block walk from Axel to my apartment is the perfect retreat from the suffocating evening I've had. I just need to soak in the cool night air, revel in the weekend crowds, and take a few deep breaths. Brighton's words are haunting me. I want to drop them at the side of the road and watch a bus trail over them, but they're in my brain, firmly encased.
I hear a loud roar behind me. I stop briefly to glance back. My eye latches on a crowd. The mix of men and women, my age, is a dull reminder of my college days. Now, that I'm getting out of bed and going to work each day, I feel more grown-up. The constant reminder that a lecture hall afforded me of my uncomplicated youth seems so foreign. My life has changed so much. I feel like one version of me boarded the plane bound for Paris and another stepped back onto American soil. I long for who I used to be, pre-Beck.
I watch as the crowd disperses after they've finished greeting another group that just arrived. One man, standing off in the distance, is misplaced. His clothing is thick and heavy for the warm night air. The baseball cap that is pulled over his brow conceals his face. He's dark, mysterious and as my father would say, "he's the reason you shouldn't walk alone at night."
I quicken my pace as I turn off the main street to begin the three block trek to the tiny walk up apartment I'd been living in it since I graduated from high school. The meager salary I had brought home when I worked at Star Bistro with Sadie wasn't enough to cover half of my rent, but the tips had given me the cushion I needed. I loved the independence being away from home gave me. More than that, I loved the solitude.
I sense a presence behind me and I turn quickly. The man with the ball cap is there, following my traveled path. I walk as fast as my heels will allow, longing for the security of my building. I fish in my bag for my cell phone, readying it in case I need to call for help.
I breathe a heavy sigh of relief as I see the dim light of my building just up the block. It's the only place in the world I feel safe anymore. The moment I returned from Paris, I went to my apartment, locking the door behind me for three full days before I reached out to anyone. I'd wept, grieved for the loss of Brighton's love and pulled all the strength I needed to face all my friends and family without a tear in sight.
I fumble with my key, pushing it into the heavy glass door. I scoot inside before it clicks to a locking position behind me. My eyes trail a path at the man in the ball cap as he crosses the street. I watch silently as a woman standing in front of a building there embraces him, pulling the cap off his head, revealing short white hair. They clasp hands tightly as they disappear into the distance. My unwarranted fear is more tied to Brighton's shocking presence than the man on the street. I have to calm my nerves down. I have to get a grip so I
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