about your capital position?’
‘My capital position? Look here, I’m not going to be cross-examined as though I were in the witness box asking for time to pay.’
‘But my dear George,’ said the General, ‘there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Think of the cases which came before you when we were in Court.’
‘I prefer not to,’ said the judge. ‘I might manage a couple of hundred pounds, but with great difficulty.’
‘Very well, then, that will do for a start,’ said the General. ‘Judge Strachan, £200. Now, Dr Sainsbury?’
‘£500.’
‘Good. Nicholas?’
‘£250.’
‘Right. Henry?’
‘£3,000, if necessary.’
So they went on and, in the end, after a few adjustments, they reached the figure of £20,000.
‘Excellent,’ said the General. ‘Now we can go into battle knowing we have the weapons.’
‘I’m not at all sure that I’m liable at all,’ said the Judge. ‘I only quoted a couple of lines of Gilbert. Everyone knows I’m always doing that.’
‘Yes, but what lines? Anyway, Mr Twigg had no doubt about it.’
‘Did you ask him about my case specifically?’
‘No, I can’t say we did, but he and Stewart had all the papers and both said there was no defence to any of the actions.’
‘Well, I think I shall go up to Town and see an old friend of mine at the Bar. If I’m liable, of course I’ll stand in with you and, if absolutely necessary, produce £200. But if I’m not liable I don’t see why I should.’
‘Fair enough,’ said the General. ‘When will you let me know the result?’
‘I’ll go up tomorrow and phone you in the evening.’
The next day Judge Strachan managed to obtain an interview with a well-known junior at the Bar, Humphrey Maynard.
‘Hullo, old boy,’ said Maynard, ‘what brings you to Town? Not enough judgement debtors in the country?’
‘I want some advice.’
‘Point of law too difficult for you, I suppose, and you’ve reserved judgement?’
‘Nothing of the kind. It’s a personal matter.’
‘Oh dear. Not driving under the influence, I hope.’
‘It isn’t funny at all, old man.’
‘Oh — I’m sorry. What is it?’
The Judge gave Maynard the details and then asked: ‘D’you think I’ve any defence?’
‘Well, I don’t do much libel, you know, and if Twigg and Stewart say you haven’t, I shouldn’t have thought you had.’
‘But I was only making a sort of joke. I didn’t say a word against him till then.’
‘I know, but how were your words understood? That’s the test, isn’t it? Did they make people think you were falling into line with the others and calling the fellow a crook? Look here, if you like, and don’t mind my telling him, I’ll ask Clapson to come in. He knows all about these things.’
‘Do,’ said the judge. He would have told his trouble to the whole of the Bar if it would have done any good.
‘Ask Mr Clapson if he could spare a moment,’ said Maynard on the internal telephone to his clerk. ‘Thank you.’
A few minutes later Clapson came in. The Judge and he were not personally known to one another, Clapson’s practice only having developed after the Judge had gone to the Bench. As soon as they were introduced, however, ‘Oh dear,’ said Clapson, ‘I’m afraid I know what you’re here for, Judge. I’ll have to go out again. I’m afraid I’m just settling a Statement of Claim against you.’
‘Oh, good Lord,’ said the Judge.
‘Slander action. Twenty-two defendants. That’s it, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I just came in to see what Maynard thought my chances were.’
‘Well, Judge, if you really want me to, I don’t mind telling you what I think,’ said Clapson. ‘It won’t be giving away any confidences.’
‘Well?’ said the Judge.
‘Nil,’ said Clapson. ‘It’s an open and shut case. Horrible position for you, Judge. I’m so sorry. I hope it’s settled — should hate to have to cross-examine you. Most embarrassing.’
‘What
‘My capital position? Look here, I’m not going to be cross-examined as though I were in the witness box asking for time to pay.’
‘But my dear George,’ said the General, ‘there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Think of the cases which came before you when we were in Court.’
‘I prefer not to,’ said the judge. ‘I might manage a couple of hundred pounds, but with great difficulty.’
‘Very well, then, that will do for a start,’ said the General. ‘Judge Strachan, £200. Now, Dr Sainsbury?’
‘£500.’
‘Good. Nicholas?’
‘£250.’
‘Right. Henry?’
‘£3,000, if necessary.’
So they went on and, in the end, after a few adjustments, they reached the figure of £20,000.
‘Excellent,’ said the General. ‘Now we can go into battle knowing we have the weapons.’
‘I’m not at all sure that I’m liable at all,’ said the Judge. ‘I only quoted a couple of lines of Gilbert. Everyone knows I’m always doing that.’
‘Yes, but what lines? Anyway, Mr Twigg had no doubt about it.’
‘Did you ask him about my case specifically?’
‘No, I can’t say we did, but he and Stewart had all the papers and both said there was no defence to any of the actions.’
‘Well, I think I shall go up to Town and see an old friend of mine at the Bar. If I’m liable, of course I’ll stand in with you and, if absolutely necessary, produce £200. But if I’m not liable I don’t see why I should.’
‘Fair enough,’ said the General. ‘When will you let me know the result?’
‘I’ll go up tomorrow and phone you in the evening.’
The next day Judge Strachan managed to obtain an interview with a well-known junior at the Bar, Humphrey Maynard.
‘Hullo, old boy,’ said Maynard, ‘what brings you to Town? Not enough judgement debtors in the country?’
‘I want some advice.’
‘Point of law too difficult for you, I suppose, and you’ve reserved judgement?’
‘Nothing of the kind. It’s a personal matter.’
‘Oh dear. Not driving under the influence, I hope.’
‘It isn’t funny at all, old man.’
‘Oh — I’m sorry. What is it?’
The Judge gave Maynard the details and then asked: ‘D’you think I’ve any defence?’
‘Well, I don’t do much libel, you know, and if Twigg and Stewart say you haven’t, I shouldn’t have thought you had.’
‘But I was only making a sort of joke. I didn’t say a word against him till then.’
‘I know, but how were your words understood? That’s the test, isn’t it? Did they make people think you were falling into line with the others and calling the fellow a crook? Look here, if you like, and don’t mind my telling him, I’ll ask Clapson to come in. He knows all about these things.’
‘Do,’ said the judge. He would have told his trouble to the whole of the Bar if it would have done any good.
‘Ask Mr Clapson if he could spare a moment,’ said Maynard on the internal telephone to his clerk. ‘Thank you.’
A few minutes later Clapson came in. The Judge and he were not personally known to one another, Clapson’s practice only having developed after the Judge had gone to the Bench. As soon as they were introduced, however, ‘Oh dear,’ said Clapson, ‘I’m afraid I know what you’re here for, Judge. I’ll have to go out again. I’m afraid I’m just settling a Statement of Claim against you.’
‘Oh, good Lord,’ said the Judge.
‘Slander action. Twenty-two defendants. That’s it, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I just came in to see what Maynard thought my chances were.’
‘Well, Judge, if you really want me to, I don’t mind telling you what I think,’ said Clapson. ‘It won’t be giving away any confidences.’
‘Well?’ said the Judge.
‘Nil,’ said Clapson. ‘It’s an open and shut case. Horrible position for you, Judge. I’m so sorry. I hope it’s settled — should hate to have to cross-examine you. Most embarrassing.’
‘What
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