Where I Found My Heart by C.E. Hansen

time I saw him. I think my knees wobbled. I know for a fact my hands shook. He was so handsome I almost forgot my own name when I introduced myself. He had this special way about him that made everyone he came in contact with feel comfortable, but I was not just anyone. I knew I fell for him that moment.
    It was on a day like this one when he surprised me in the greenhouse with a picnic basket. ‘This is a perfect day for a picnic’, I smiled at the memory. He took me by the hand and led me out the back door and lay out the tablecloth on the thick cool grass. He thought of everything; fried chicken, salad, cheese and a bottle of wine. We ate and drank and laughed. It was there, in that very same spot, months earlier that we first made love. I remember him being so gentle with me, like he thought I was fragile and might break.
    We talked for hours. Laughed and made love again. A one point he stood, reached down and pulled me up into his arms. Then held me close as he clumsily swayed our bodies side to side, his form of dancing, and I found it romantic as hell. I wrapped my arms around his neck. We rocked side to side together while he sang “Let’s Be Together” by Al Green against my cheek. He wasn’t by any means a great singer, but he had a very sexy voice and the words he sang caused me to melt into him. He proposed that night, and of course I said yes. It was the happiest day of my life.
    Little did I know they would get better and better, each day brought more love and joy until I felt like I would explode from having too much happiness. I loved him with all I was. Did I mention it was magical?
    “Reny.” Libby said my name knocking me out of my reverie, and I shook my head. “I’m so sorry Ren I know how hard this is for you. But being where I used to spend so much time with him helped me get through some tough times.”
    At this point I was out and out balling and Libby wrapped her arms around my racking body and held me until there were no tears left. I felt weak and worn, but strangely enough, I felt happy to be here. It was almost like I could feel his embrace, smell his breath. Libby was right. I needed to get back to work. I needed to be where I had all those wonderful memories.
    “You’re right Libby. I needed this. I really needed this.”
    Now it was Libby who was crying.
    “I didn’t just stop so you can start.” I laughed.
    “I know I’m so happy…I don’t know...I’m a big mush, but I know he’s here with us.”
    “What was it you needed my help with?”
    “We are having trouble with the plants in number four.”
    She lead and I followed. After examining each of the plants I was convinced the Ph was off in their soil. I went into the storage shed and mixed some Ph with some plant food, attached the mixture to the application hose and sprayed them down until they were sodden.
    “I’ll take a look at them tomorrow when I come to work.”
    “Really?” her eyes popped and she smiled that smile I remember so well. I took it as a sign.
    “Really.” I hugged her, “I love you Libs.”
    “I love you too Ren.”
    “Let’s go grab some lunch and we’ll take it from there.”
    “I am hungry.”
     
     

Chapter 13
     
    My first day back to work and I felt like a kid going to her first day of school. I was actually nervous, even though I’d worked there for years. I dug out my garden clogs from the back of the closet and rolled up the bottom of my baggy jean overalls. I wore the Tee shirt with the McAdams Nursery logo and tagline - ‘The Seed is Hope, The Flower is Joy’.
    I made my way down to the basement and got behind the wheel of my car. I still pulled out of the garage with blinders on. Not ready yet to deal with my ‘people’ issue. I know it will take some time. I’ve got a lot of pent up pain and anger and uncertainty to work through. But I’m well aware of my issues, and will deal with them a little at a time.
    Plants on the other hand…they were easier. You gave them