compare to how I felt when Sol Cole looked at me. I wasn’t a person, with thoughts and beliefs and ideas and worth.” My voice cracked. “I was just sex. Whether I wanted it or not.”
She sat on the bed beside me, moving to embrace me, to comfort me, but I pulled back.
“If I let you do that, if I let you comfort me, I’ll never get it out.”
She gave me a small nod that she understood, then I began again.
“I wanted to leave, but my mother wanted the deal so badly. She left me alone with him.”
Leila’s eyes were going to pop out of her head. “She didn’t...how... why ...”
“Because she’s just like him,” I said simply, tears blurring my vision. “I’m not a person. I’m a tool to make her money. Sol attacked me, just like I knew he would, and my mother didn’t try and save me. She didn’t even stick around.” I spat, swatting my tears angrily.
Leila was ready to explode, angrily pacing up and down the length of the room. “That woman – she’s not a mother. She has no right to call herself one. A mother protects her kids. A mother would rather sacrifice herself than allow her kids to feel an iota of pain.” She flexed her fists. “She’s a heartless monster, Mia. And I...” She froze, her face softening as she met my gaze. “And I’m not helping, am I?”
I chewed on my bottom lip, willing the tears to stop. “It’s nice to hear someone say the things I can’t say. Can’t admit. That kind of mother, a good mother – that’s all I ever wanted for me and Jenna.” I sniffed. “Life had other plans.”
Leila looked like she had a few more choice words to share, but she just smoothed her fly away curls and collected herself. “So that’s when you called up Scott?”
“No, Liam...” I held on to his name, a bright slice of happy cutting through the anger.
“Liam? Is he a dealer or–”
“No!” I said too loudly, nearly leaping to my feet to defend his honor. I clutched my blanket, my heart settling back where it belonged. “Liam works – worked for Sol.”
Leila scrunched up her face, like she was sucking on a lemon. “Oh?”
“But he isn’t like that.” I explained quickly. “He was the one that stopped Solomon before...” I didn’t need to finish. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
“I like this Liam guy already.” Leila tried on a smile, but it didn’t last. “So you were with him last night?”
I shook my head. “He stopped by my place.” A chuckle slipped past my defenses. “He brought me flowers.”
Leila was quiet, clearly waiting for the missing piece to help make sense of it all. The assault brought on by my mother could have led to me passing out in a crack house, but my savior bringing me flowers? There was a slight disconnect. To be honest, it didn’t make a lot of sense to me either.
I scooted back onto my bed. “Everything was better when he was there. We talked, laughed, kissed.” I chewed on my nail, trying to stem the tide as heat consumed me. That kiss held more passion than every other sexual interaction I’d experienced combined. “But he wanted something I can’t give.”
“Sex,” Leila said with a knowing nod.
“Actually, I wanted sex,” I smirked. “He wanted more.”
“Ah,” Leila’s cheeks darkened as she sank into the armchair near the bed. A few moments passed before she addressed the elephant in the room. “Why don’t you want more? And how did that lead to you waking up in the Heights with a chunk of your night missing?”
I picked at a thread on my sheet. “Why don’t I want more? Because I’m focused on my career right now. I don’t have time for a relationship.”
“You’ve been linked with your co-stars since you were 15. Relationships are your thing, aren’t they?”
“Those were strategic,” I explained. There was Joshua Mercer, who played my love interest on the show. After a year or two, we called it quits and I moved onto Darren Lowe, the bad boy with a heart of gold that had a
She sat on the bed beside me, moving to embrace me, to comfort me, but I pulled back.
“If I let you do that, if I let you comfort me, I’ll never get it out.”
She gave me a small nod that she understood, then I began again.
“I wanted to leave, but my mother wanted the deal so badly. She left me alone with him.”
Leila’s eyes were going to pop out of her head. “She didn’t...how... why ...”
“Because she’s just like him,” I said simply, tears blurring my vision. “I’m not a person. I’m a tool to make her money. Sol attacked me, just like I knew he would, and my mother didn’t try and save me. She didn’t even stick around.” I spat, swatting my tears angrily.
Leila was ready to explode, angrily pacing up and down the length of the room. “That woman – she’s not a mother. She has no right to call herself one. A mother protects her kids. A mother would rather sacrifice herself than allow her kids to feel an iota of pain.” She flexed her fists. “She’s a heartless monster, Mia. And I...” She froze, her face softening as she met my gaze. “And I’m not helping, am I?”
I chewed on my bottom lip, willing the tears to stop. “It’s nice to hear someone say the things I can’t say. Can’t admit. That kind of mother, a good mother – that’s all I ever wanted for me and Jenna.” I sniffed. “Life had other plans.”
Leila looked like she had a few more choice words to share, but she just smoothed her fly away curls and collected herself. “So that’s when you called up Scott?”
“No, Liam...” I held on to his name, a bright slice of happy cutting through the anger.
“Liam? Is he a dealer or–”
“No!” I said too loudly, nearly leaping to my feet to defend his honor. I clutched my blanket, my heart settling back where it belonged. “Liam works – worked for Sol.”
Leila scrunched up her face, like she was sucking on a lemon. “Oh?”
“But he isn’t like that.” I explained quickly. “He was the one that stopped Solomon before...” I didn’t need to finish. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.
“I like this Liam guy already.” Leila tried on a smile, but it didn’t last. “So you were with him last night?”
I shook my head. “He stopped by my place.” A chuckle slipped past my defenses. “He brought me flowers.”
Leila was quiet, clearly waiting for the missing piece to help make sense of it all. The assault brought on by my mother could have led to me passing out in a crack house, but my savior bringing me flowers? There was a slight disconnect. To be honest, it didn’t make a lot of sense to me either.
I scooted back onto my bed. “Everything was better when he was there. We talked, laughed, kissed.” I chewed on my nail, trying to stem the tide as heat consumed me. That kiss held more passion than every other sexual interaction I’d experienced combined. “But he wanted something I can’t give.”
“Sex,” Leila said with a knowing nod.
“Actually, I wanted sex,” I smirked. “He wanted more.”
“Ah,” Leila’s cheeks darkened as she sank into the armchair near the bed. A few moments passed before she addressed the elephant in the room. “Why don’t you want more? And how did that lead to you waking up in the Heights with a chunk of your night missing?”
I picked at a thread on my sheet. “Why don’t I want more? Because I’m focused on my career right now. I don’t have time for a relationship.”
“You’ve been linked with your co-stars since you were 15. Relationships are your thing, aren’t they?”
“Those were strategic,” I explained. There was Joshua Mercer, who played my love interest on the show. After a year or two, we called it quits and I moved onto Darren Lowe, the bad boy with a heart of gold that had a
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