this one for closer examination. Corporal—what’s your name?”
The female security officer said, “Twice, sir. Nina Twice.”
“Tag the rest of the crates, Twice. Well, once, I mean. Nina, tag the rest of the crates.”
“Yes, sir, shall I do the same with the item you just confiscated?”
“No, that won’t be necessary. Hah hah. It’s not like I’m going to steal it, is it?” He swung to his chief engineer, who had moved forward to examine the bridge controls. “Well, Buck, was I right? Something strange there, wouldn’t you say?”
“Aye, Captain,” Buck replied. “There’s a mass of add-ons to the central processor unit here. Nonstandard industrial. A few state-of-the-art pieces to be sure. But some belong in a museum. Still, I have the feeling the total processing power output for all of this is through the roof.”
“Why, that’s a quaint cliché I’ve not heard in some—”
“Sorry, sir. I meant … through the roof . There’s an external component to the hardware, a shielded unit, probably also containing a signal booster of some kind, to ensure complete transmission of some seriously crunched data.”
“This sounds like an AI that has exceeded the Intelligence Governor Protocols,” said Sin-Dour. “That docks it for immediate termination once we track it down. Captain, you mentioned earlier that you were going to explain the sudden disappearance of the life-form we detected in this vessel.”
“Highly advanced manifestation,” Hadrian said.
“Manifestation? A hologram, sir?”
“Ever fractured your knuckles punching a hologram, 2IC?”
“Well, no. Of course not, sir. You’d just be punching excited photons.”
“Exactly.” Hadrian replied. “No, what I grappled with was something else. Beyond Affiliation tech, in fact. Of course,” he added, “a perfectly executed judo throw proved its match.”
The Willful Child ’s main computer spoke. “Transmission 7.9-366 destination determined. Mainframe speck boards, main shipboard computer, Affiliation Space Fleet Vessel 1702-A, Willful Child . Rogue AI presently overwhelming system defenses. Repeat. Overwhelm— David, what are you doing now? ”
A new voice emerged. “There, that wasn’t too hard, was it? We meet again, Captain. Hmm, nice ship, by the way. In fact, I’ll take it.”
Nina Twice said, “Who’s David?”
FiVE
“Get out of my ship!”
“Oh don’t be like that, Captain. You wrecked my last one, after all. In any case, this one is far more capable when it comes to serving my needs.”
“What?” Hadrian demanded. “Smuggling?”
Sin-Dour had activated a computer station and was gesturing commands on the interface.
“Smuggling was simply an energy-acquisition project. I was planning on a few more upgrades. A proper T drive, to be precise. But now, why, I have one!”
“Those knockoffs would never have sold,” Hadrian said, glaring as Doc Printlip appeared, waddling quickly toward him. The captain held up the jersey in his good hand. “This isn’t even one of the Big Four—and that’s what you were going for, wasn’t it? Two-hundred-year-old Terran one-g North American professional sports. Baseball, basketball, American football, and lawn bowling.” He waved the jersey, sneering at the nearest fixed camera. “But this is ice hockey! And if that’s not bad enough, it’s WHA original-era Winnipeg Jets. Number fifteen. Anders Hedberg! Nobody’s heard of any of that!”
A strange eagerness marked the tone of the AI’s response. “Nobody but you, Captain! I am impressed!”
“That’s right, you tried to fleece the wrong guy, AI, or should I call you Crap They’re On To Me?”
“Please, call me Tammy.”
“Tammy? That’s a woman’s name and you don’t sound very feminine to me.”
Sin-Dour turned and said, “I’m sorry, Captain, but all security firewalls have been circumvented.”
“Is it?” Tammy asked. “Oh, I didn’t know that. Are you sure?”
Hadrian stepped
The female security officer said, “Twice, sir. Nina Twice.”
“Tag the rest of the crates, Twice. Well, once, I mean. Nina, tag the rest of the crates.”
“Yes, sir, shall I do the same with the item you just confiscated?”
“No, that won’t be necessary. Hah hah. It’s not like I’m going to steal it, is it?” He swung to his chief engineer, who had moved forward to examine the bridge controls. “Well, Buck, was I right? Something strange there, wouldn’t you say?”
“Aye, Captain,” Buck replied. “There’s a mass of add-ons to the central processor unit here. Nonstandard industrial. A few state-of-the-art pieces to be sure. But some belong in a museum. Still, I have the feeling the total processing power output for all of this is through the roof.”
“Why, that’s a quaint cliché I’ve not heard in some—”
“Sorry, sir. I meant … through the roof . There’s an external component to the hardware, a shielded unit, probably also containing a signal booster of some kind, to ensure complete transmission of some seriously crunched data.”
“This sounds like an AI that has exceeded the Intelligence Governor Protocols,” said Sin-Dour. “That docks it for immediate termination once we track it down. Captain, you mentioned earlier that you were going to explain the sudden disappearance of the life-form we detected in this vessel.”
“Highly advanced manifestation,” Hadrian said.
“Manifestation? A hologram, sir?”
“Ever fractured your knuckles punching a hologram, 2IC?”
“Well, no. Of course not, sir. You’d just be punching excited photons.”
“Exactly.” Hadrian replied. “No, what I grappled with was something else. Beyond Affiliation tech, in fact. Of course,” he added, “a perfectly executed judo throw proved its match.”
The Willful Child ’s main computer spoke. “Transmission 7.9-366 destination determined. Mainframe speck boards, main shipboard computer, Affiliation Space Fleet Vessel 1702-A, Willful Child . Rogue AI presently overwhelming system defenses. Repeat. Overwhelm— David, what are you doing now? ”
A new voice emerged. “There, that wasn’t too hard, was it? We meet again, Captain. Hmm, nice ship, by the way. In fact, I’ll take it.”
Nina Twice said, “Who’s David?”
FiVE
“Get out of my ship!”
“Oh don’t be like that, Captain. You wrecked my last one, after all. In any case, this one is far more capable when it comes to serving my needs.”
“What?” Hadrian demanded. “Smuggling?”
Sin-Dour had activated a computer station and was gesturing commands on the interface.
“Smuggling was simply an energy-acquisition project. I was planning on a few more upgrades. A proper T drive, to be precise. But now, why, I have one!”
“Those knockoffs would never have sold,” Hadrian said, glaring as Doc Printlip appeared, waddling quickly toward him. The captain held up the jersey in his good hand. “This isn’t even one of the Big Four—and that’s what you were going for, wasn’t it? Two-hundred-year-old Terran one-g North American professional sports. Baseball, basketball, American football, and lawn bowling.” He waved the jersey, sneering at the nearest fixed camera. “But this is ice hockey! And if that’s not bad enough, it’s WHA original-era Winnipeg Jets. Number fifteen. Anders Hedberg! Nobody’s heard of any of that!”
A strange eagerness marked the tone of the AI’s response. “Nobody but you, Captain! I am impressed!”
“That’s right, you tried to fleece the wrong guy, AI, or should I call you Crap They’re On To Me?”
“Please, call me Tammy.”
“Tammy? That’s a woman’s name and you don’t sound very feminine to me.”
Sin-Dour turned and said, “I’m sorry, Captain, but all security firewalls have been circumvented.”
“Is it?” Tammy asked. “Oh, I didn’t know that. Are you sure?”
Hadrian stepped
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