Wishes by Allyson Young

speculated that he would probably have just minor bruising from the crack he took on his cheek from her lethal skull and congratulated himself on avoiding her teeth all together. He rummaged through her dresser until he found enough scarves to fashion ankle restraints, then timed her kicks well enough to hold a leg and tie her into place. Then he stripped and climbed onto the bed beside her.

    * * * *

    Kennedy couldn’t believe the highs and lows she had just experienced. She truly was a nutcase. Postcoital depression? No, it was more than that. And now she was tied down and totally exposed under merciless light for his freaking inspection. If depression was anger without the enthusiasm, then what the hell was this feeling? She was pissed off, embarrassed, a little anxious, and a lot aroused. She couldn’t take the low that would inevitably follow more fantastic sex with Graham and tried to find the words to tell him.
    “Please,” she tried.
    “Please what, honey? Too late for apologies. Ten.”
    “I don’t mean that, Graham. Please listen to me.”
    Graham frowned at her. “Then tell me.”
    “I liked what happened earlier, and then afterward I crashed. I really hadn’t felt that bad since, well, since someone hurt me eighteen months ago.” Eighteen months, eleven days, and sixteen hours to be exact.
    “I just don’t have the reserves,” she continued, “I can’t keep coming back. You can’t do this to me.”
    “Honey, I am not your doom. You and I have something together, and I’m not letting you push me away. We’ll work through this together, sweetheart. We will.”
    “You aren’t listening to me, Graham. You were bothered by my crash in the kitchen right? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet, buddy, if I go off on you.”
    “I’ve seen your temper, honey, and it makes me hard. I have never put up with that behavior before from any woman, so I know that you are special,” he assured her.
    “I’m not talking about my temper, Graham,” she said darkly. “My temper is part of me, and I will never lose it. I’m talking about a full-blown PTSD episode. Like a military vet breakdown. There, I’ve said it.”
    “What the fuck happened to you, honey?” he asked, as he stroked her soothingly.
    Kennedy shivered. “I might lose it if I talk about it.”
    “Honey, I want to earn your trust. Do you think telling me as much as you can and letting me support you through it might do that for you?”
    “Untie me, Graham. Turn out the lights. I’ll try.”
    “Nope, I won’t do that, sweetheart. I’m no shrink, but I know that whatever happened to you is all connected with your body and a lack of control. I’m going to take care of you and shoulder your burden. But you’re going to have to dig deep for courage and face things without hiding.”
    Kennedy closed her eyes and thought about it. The choice had pretty much been taken away from her but in a different way than that horrible time. Graham wasn’t Randall. She could choose not to tell Graham, and he would continue to explore her anyway and wouldn’t leave. Maybe this way she could work through the horror because she believed he would accept her. It was a risk, but she believed. She trusted a man she had just met and didn’t question why or how that was.
    Kennedy relaxed into Graham’s caresses and told him about getting her first job as a PA with Alex, and how she had loved it as well as the opportunity to be included in Alex’s family. She knew he watched her face and managed to look at him from time to time as she continued her story. When she described Randall, she felt Graham tense a little and her eyes flew to his. She was reassured when he dropped a kiss on her forehead and told her that she should always rely on gut instinct.
    “I knew he was twisted inside, somehow. I knew he had done some really bad things. I didn’t know what they were until it all came out later. The betrayal by Alex and Susan was the worst, you know. I trusted