he’s the one that did me wrong, but I also believe he’s sorry.
But the n the other part of me, the part that’s hurt and maybe jealous, says how can you stay with him or ever trust him again? How can I not drive myself crazy worrying about what he’s doing when he works late? No matter what, I’m not going to take him back telling him I forgive him when I don’t. That whole, I can forgive, but never forget , saying is a crock of shit in my opinion. Especially in a situation like this. If I take Brandon back, it will be because I forgive him, and I will not let the awful memory of him kissing that woman haunt me for all my days. That’s what I want to do, truly.
I just don’t know that I can.
Of course, how could I break up my family? Our daughters would be devastated. I take my mother’s words and try to remember that she meant well, but in a way I feel more confused. She said it would be hardest for me. I know she’s right, but I wonder what my father would say about it all. Not that I’d ever discuss it with him, but I wonder if because he had experienced it from my point of view, although it sounds like maybe my mother went quite a bit further than Brandon, which the thought of my mother having sex with another man makes me cringe, maybe my Dad would tell me he had no regrets. Maybe he would? That’s a silly thought. My father would never tell me he regretted forgiving my mother, even if it is how he feels. I can’t imagine he’d think that way anyway. I never even knew they ever had problems.
Four hours later we’re on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Tia arranged our flights and paid for everything. Her only demand, I not ask any questions. Easier said than done. Tia stares out the window as I sip a Bloody Mary hoping to ease my nerves. I have no idea why I feel nervous or anxious, but I do. I open the last email I received from Brandon on my phone and read it: “Be Careful.” That’s all he said and then he was short on the phone with me. Maybe Tia’s right about him getting out and having a good time and that’s why he doesn’t seem to care about me traveling.
“Hey , do you remember that time you brought Brandon down to Mamaw and Papa’s river place before you guys got married?” Tia asks pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah.” I nod. “It was the Fourth of July. He asked me to marry him that weekend.” My grandparents on my mother’s side own an amazing river front property in Virginia. Tia and I spent many summers there boating and swimming.
“Well, I never told you this, but I was in the boat house when you two were getting it on.”
“Really?” I sort of laugh unsure of how to respond.
“Yeah. I watched you guys have sex ,” she adds as she takes my drink from the tray in front of me and sips it.
“Okay. That’s a little weird.”
“Well, I had a joint and I snuck down there in the middle of the night to smoke it. Right before I lit it, I heard footsteps so I hid behind the boat. You two barreled in ripping each other’s clothes off and I was too afraid to say anything to stop you so I watched.” She shrugs casually.
“Tia!” I tsk . “You were like what, twelve? And smoking a joint?”
She quirks a brow at me. “So?” Tia has smoked pot since I can remember. She says it keeps her mellow. I’m not a fan of it myself since all it does is make me want to eat everything in sight and pass out, but I can see its appeal for Tia. She’s high strung and pot helps her calm down a little bit.
“Oh God , Tia,” I groan. “You were down there smoking a joint and then caught me having sex. I completely failed you as a big sister,” I sigh grabbing my drink back from her and taking a big gulp.
“Honestly , Phi. This is going to sound really weird, but you never looked more beautiful.” Her gaze meets mine as her head lays back against her seat. I have no idea how to respond to her so I say nothing. My little sister watched me have sex and thought I
But the n the other part of me, the part that’s hurt and maybe jealous, says how can you stay with him or ever trust him again? How can I not drive myself crazy worrying about what he’s doing when he works late? No matter what, I’m not going to take him back telling him I forgive him when I don’t. That whole, I can forgive, but never forget , saying is a crock of shit in my opinion. Especially in a situation like this. If I take Brandon back, it will be because I forgive him, and I will not let the awful memory of him kissing that woman haunt me for all my days. That’s what I want to do, truly.
I just don’t know that I can.
Of course, how could I break up my family? Our daughters would be devastated. I take my mother’s words and try to remember that she meant well, but in a way I feel more confused. She said it would be hardest for me. I know she’s right, but I wonder what my father would say about it all. Not that I’d ever discuss it with him, but I wonder if because he had experienced it from my point of view, although it sounds like maybe my mother went quite a bit further than Brandon, which the thought of my mother having sex with another man makes me cringe, maybe my Dad would tell me he had no regrets. Maybe he would? That’s a silly thought. My father would never tell me he regretted forgiving my mother, even if it is how he feels. I can’t imagine he’d think that way anyway. I never even knew they ever had problems.
Four hours later we’re on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Tia arranged our flights and paid for everything. Her only demand, I not ask any questions. Easier said than done. Tia stares out the window as I sip a Bloody Mary hoping to ease my nerves. I have no idea why I feel nervous or anxious, but I do. I open the last email I received from Brandon on my phone and read it: “Be Careful.” That’s all he said and then he was short on the phone with me. Maybe Tia’s right about him getting out and having a good time and that’s why he doesn’t seem to care about me traveling.
“Hey , do you remember that time you brought Brandon down to Mamaw and Papa’s river place before you guys got married?” Tia asks pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah.” I nod. “It was the Fourth of July. He asked me to marry him that weekend.” My grandparents on my mother’s side own an amazing river front property in Virginia. Tia and I spent many summers there boating and swimming.
“Well, I never told you this, but I was in the boat house when you two were getting it on.”
“Really?” I sort of laugh unsure of how to respond.
“Yeah. I watched you guys have sex ,” she adds as she takes my drink from the tray in front of me and sips it.
“Okay. That’s a little weird.”
“Well, I had a joint and I snuck down there in the middle of the night to smoke it. Right before I lit it, I heard footsteps so I hid behind the boat. You two barreled in ripping each other’s clothes off and I was too afraid to say anything to stop you so I watched.” She shrugs casually.
“Tia!” I tsk . “You were like what, twelve? And smoking a joint?”
She quirks a brow at me. “So?” Tia has smoked pot since I can remember. She says it keeps her mellow. I’m not a fan of it myself since all it does is make me want to eat everything in sight and pass out, but I can see its appeal for Tia. She’s high strung and pot helps her calm down a little bit.
“Oh God , Tia,” I groan. “You were down there smoking a joint and then caught me having sex. I completely failed you as a big sister,” I sigh grabbing my drink back from her and taking a big gulp.
“Honestly , Phi. This is going to sound really weird, but you never looked more beautiful.” Her gaze meets mine as her head lays back against her seat. I have no idea how to respond to her so I say nothing. My little sister watched me have sex and thought I
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