looked beautiful. What am I supposed to say to that? “Okay, I’m not into incest or anything.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m saying you had so much passion. You guys were clawing at one another and moaning and I couldn’t wait to have sex because it looked so fucking amazing.”
“ Sex was amazing with Brandon.” I nod, darting my eyes away from her. Just the memory of that night makes my chest squeeze. I stare down at the drink in my hand.
“And now?” she asks.
“Now, we’re married and have kids and the sex is good, but it’s not like what you saw. We were addicted to each other then, now we’re…” I pause.
“Comfortable?” she questions, and her face scrunches as if the word tastes bitter on her tongue as she says it.
“Yeah. That’s one word you could use,” I reply meekly. I hate the way she said the word comfortable , like it was a word used to describe failure. Marriage should be comfortable, maybe not as comfortable as mine has been recently, well before the kiss , but in some parts it should be comfortable.
Tia pats my hand gently where it sits on the arm rest between our seats. “What happened, Phi?”
I want to answer her, but it’s embarrassing to tell my little sister things like this especially when I’m always lecturing her about how she needs to settle down. My sales pitch is real strong. Hey Tia, get married so you can live comfortably. It wasn’t always that way, but when things seemed to fizzle out in our sex life, I took that as what happened to every married couple. But maybe I shouldn’t have because as time went on, our romantic life almost vanished. Sure, there were the occasional gestures like on our anniversary Brandon would send me roses, and I’d cook his favorite dinner and wear something sexy when we went to bed, but it was like we were programmed, scheduled to do it. We lost the spontaneity.
“It’s part of getting olde r, Tia. I know you’re still young and single and life’s a party, but we have responsibilities and kids and…” Lots of excuses is what I want to say. All of those things have factored into it, but are they the real reason things have in fact gotten so comfortable?
Our sex life was phenomenal before marriage and the kids when we were carefree and had no responsibilities other than school. But as the years passed, sleep became priority when I was up all night with babies and work became his life as he climbed the ladder. It wasn’t always like that though. We used to crave each other. I had never felt so wanted in my life than I did when Brandon touched me.
***
For our first date, he picked me up at seven on the dot. I couldn’t believe he spent four hundred dollars just to do a body shot off me. I figured he at least deserved a chance after that, and I couldn’t deny the way he seemed so nervous at the lake the day we met was adorable. Brandon was attractive and my body instantly reacted to him in that physical pheromone sort of way, where even though my mind was screaming, ALERT! ALERT!, my body was urging me to tackle him to the ground and have my way with him. He was tall and lean, broad shoulders with dark hair and eyes. He wore his hair a little long and it hung over his eyes a bit, but he was rugged and handsome.
In spite of my body/mind conflict, I looked forward to our first date, but I was still reluctant. It was easy to see he could pretty much get any girl he wanted, and I would not be another conquest for him. If he wanted me, he’d have to earn me. I was no angel back then and by no means a virgin, but I didn’t sleep around. Sex meant something to me. Yes, I loved the physical aspect of it, a lot, but if my heart wasn’t in it, I couldn’t do it.
“So you got the hots for this guy, huh?” My roommate Jill asked as she gazed at me over the rim of her glasses. Her purple terrycloth bath robe was tied around her tightly and her brown hair was up in a knot on top of her head. She was spending the night in
“ Sex was amazing with Brandon.” I nod, darting my eyes away from her. Just the memory of that night makes my chest squeeze. I stare down at the drink in my hand.
“And now?” she asks.
“Now, we’re married and have kids and the sex is good, but it’s not like what you saw. We were addicted to each other then, now we’re…” I pause.
“Comfortable?” she questions, and her face scrunches as if the word tastes bitter on her tongue as she says it.
“Yeah. That’s one word you could use,” I reply meekly. I hate the way she said the word comfortable , like it was a word used to describe failure. Marriage should be comfortable, maybe not as comfortable as mine has been recently, well before the kiss , but in some parts it should be comfortable.
Tia pats my hand gently where it sits on the arm rest between our seats. “What happened, Phi?”
I want to answer her, but it’s embarrassing to tell my little sister things like this especially when I’m always lecturing her about how she needs to settle down. My sales pitch is real strong. Hey Tia, get married so you can live comfortably. It wasn’t always that way, but when things seemed to fizzle out in our sex life, I took that as what happened to every married couple. But maybe I shouldn’t have because as time went on, our romantic life almost vanished. Sure, there were the occasional gestures like on our anniversary Brandon would send me roses, and I’d cook his favorite dinner and wear something sexy when we went to bed, but it was like we were programmed, scheduled to do it. We lost the spontaneity.
“It’s part of getting olde r, Tia. I know you’re still young and single and life’s a party, but we have responsibilities and kids and…” Lots of excuses is what I want to say. All of those things have factored into it, but are they the real reason things have in fact gotten so comfortable?
Our sex life was phenomenal before marriage and the kids when we were carefree and had no responsibilities other than school. But as the years passed, sleep became priority when I was up all night with babies and work became his life as he climbed the ladder. It wasn’t always like that though. We used to crave each other. I had never felt so wanted in my life than I did when Brandon touched me.
***
For our first date, he picked me up at seven on the dot. I couldn’t believe he spent four hundred dollars just to do a body shot off me. I figured he at least deserved a chance after that, and I couldn’t deny the way he seemed so nervous at the lake the day we met was adorable. Brandon was attractive and my body instantly reacted to him in that physical pheromone sort of way, where even though my mind was screaming, ALERT! ALERT!, my body was urging me to tackle him to the ground and have my way with him. He was tall and lean, broad shoulders with dark hair and eyes. He wore his hair a little long and it hung over his eyes a bit, but he was rugged and handsome.
In spite of my body/mind conflict, I looked forward to our first date, but I was still reluctant. It was easy to see he could pretty much get any girl he wanted, and I would not be another conquest for him. If he wanted me, he’d have to earn me. I was no angel back then and by no means a virgin, but I didn’t sleep around. Sex meant something to me. Yes, I loved the physical aspect of it, a lot, but if my heart wasn’t in it, I couldn’t do it.
“So you got the hots for this guy, huh?” My roommate Jill asked as she gazed at me over the rim of her glasses. Her purple terrycloth bath robe was tied around her tightly and her brown hair was up in a knot on top of her head. She was spending the night in
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