You Found Me by Joel Cobbs

i be . I f e lt I w a s li v i n g out side my bo d y .
    It 's l i k e t r y i n g t o m ove , bu t y o u ' r e c on s t ra i n e d.  S tu ck i n a m o m e n t y o u w i s h nev e r ex i s te d . Tho se m o m ent s d e fi ne d my l ife f o r th e l onge st t im e .
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    M o r n i n g f i n a l ly c am e . I d on ' t r e m e m be r go i n g t o s l eep , bu t I gue ss I m u st h a ve . T h e l ast th i n g I r e m e m b e r w as l ook i n g a t my c l o ck at 3 a m , th i nk i n g a bou t s o m eth i n g r a n d o m, I 'm su r e . Ne x t th i n g I kne w, I opene d my e ye s t o s e e da y l i g h t . Th e s un l i g h t hu r t . M y a c h y eye s. I w as dis o r i en t e d a t th e t im e . I kne w t h e r e w a s s o m e th i n g I w a s m i s s i ng . N o t r e a lly su re w h a t , b u t t h e r e w a s s o m e th i ng . S u dd en ly it a l l d a w n e d o n m e . Th e te r r i b le t r uth .
    T o day w a s th e f un e ra l . . .
    I wa nte d t o g o b a ck t o be d. W h y did it h a v e t o b e to da y ? W h y did it h a v e t o h a ppe n a t a l l? I kno w Mo m did n 't w a n t t o h a v e a f un e ra l. S h e w a nte d a p a r t y a n d b e c r e ma te d. At t h e m o m ent , it did n 't l oo k li k e a n y o f th at w a s go i n g t o h a ppen . I j u st w a nte d t o s t ay i n be d a n d w i sh t h e day w ou ld g o a wa y .
    T o day w ou ld b e h a r d. I w ou ld w a t ch p e op le g o b y , p e op le I h ad n 't s ee n in a l on g t i m e , s o me I 'd nev e r m e t be f o r e . I w a s an ou t go i n g p e r s on , bu t to da y.. . to day I c ou ld n 't b e .  I t w ou ld b e to o hard.
    I s t a y e d in be d f o r a f e w m i n u te s a n d j u st w a i te d. I kne w I 'd be at my a la r m up , so I h ad a f e w m i nute s t o c o ll e ct my th o ug h t s. F o r s o me r e as o n t h e y w ou ld n 't c o me t o get h e r. M y h e ad w as poun di n g .
    I r e m e m b e r e d e v e r yth i n g th at h a ppene d. T h e way s h e l ooke d , w h at s h e w o r e , w h at we s a id, ho w a n g r y I w as w he n I l e f t . I w as s o up s et . I d oub t I w ou ld t a k e a n y o f w h at I s aid b ac k , bu t I kno w I w ou ld' v e d on e th i ng s a l o t diff e r ent l y . I d ou b t I w ou ld' v e s to r m e d o ff li k e I did. P r ob a b ly w ou ld n 't h a ve . I f I c ou ld do s o m eth i n g e ls e , I w ou ld h a-

M y a la r m w en t o ff, i nt e r r upt i n g my th o ught s. I r e a c he d ov e r a n d tu r n e d it o ff. W i t h my pho n e be i n g my a la r m, I c ou ld n 't te ll y o u th e l a st t i me I tu r n e d it o ff. I t r y t o l e a v e it o n a ll th e t ime th at w ay I w on 't m i ss a n y m e s s a g e s o r phon e c a l l s.
    I t r ar e ly w o r k s tho u gh . I ' v e g otte n so u s e d t o tex t m e s s a g e s th at s o m et i m e s I f ee l my phon e v i b r a t e a n d r e ach f o r my po c ke t ev e n w i t h my phon e al r e a d y in my h a n d.
    I f o r c e d m y s e lf ou t o f be d. M y s u it w as p r e ss e d a n d h a ng i n g o n t h e do o r . D ad m u s t ' v e pu t it th e r e w h ile I s l ept . I t w a s a l l b l ac k , w h ich I kno w is unu s u a l. It 's th e s a me s u it I w o r e t o my c ou si n 's w e ddi n g w he n I s a n g in it a f e w m onth s b a c k . M y p a r e nt s w e r en 't ve ry ent h us i a s t ic a bou t i t , bu t th e y l e t it s l id e . Af te r I pu t it on , th e y d e c id e d I c ou ld w e ar it a nyt ime I w a n t e d.
    “ M a n , I h a t e s u i t s , ” I s a id al ou d t o m y s e lf. I t f e lt l i k e w e a r i n g a p l as t i c b ag t o c ov e r u p w h o I r e a l ly w a s . M y p a r e n t s did n 't ma k e me w e ar s u i t s t o c hu r ch o r f am i ly g e t t o get h e r s. W o r k i n g in r et a i l, I s e e l ot s o f peop le w h o c o me in w e a r i n g s u i t s a n d t i e s. S o me o f t h e m a r e th e r e w o r k i n g , ot h e r s a r e th e r e f o r bus i ne ss m eet i n g s, a n d I 'm s u r e the re a r