Zen and Xander Undone by Amy Kathleen Ryan Page A

warms me up nicely. I get some stretching in, too, but not as much as I like. Mark talks them through the new move, demonstrating it on a big kid named Nicolas Renfro. Nick is probably the nicest kid I’ve ever met. He’s got sandy blond hair and tons of freckles all over his face and neck and hands. Though he’s a little fat and taller than I am, he still has a little-boy voice, which makes him adorable.
    Nick puts Mark in a bear hug, as instructed. I watch, twisting around a little, trying to work the kink out of my back. I finally feel it loosen just as I hear Mark say, “Ready? Let’s do it, Nick!”
    Mark bends and twists his body, making Nick lose his balance just the way he’s supposed to. He falls down, laughing.
    If Mark had really done that move with full and proper force, Nick would not be laughing. As instructors, we have to be gentle.
    â€œOkay!” Mark claps. “Let’s split into groups and learn the move!”
    I go stand in front of the line of kids I’m supposed to teach. Nick is first. It seems like he’s always in front when I’m leading his group. I’m starting to think he might have a little crush on me. He licks his lips nervously as I come up behind him. “Don’t worry, Nick,” I tell him. “Just bend down the same way Mark did until you feel me lose my balance, and then roll me over, okay?”
    â€œOkay,” he says in his cute little-boy voice. It’s funny he’s interested in shotokan. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
    I wrap my arms around him tightly, saying to the kids behind him, “Watch carefully and learn from what Nick does.” Little Lacy Jackson nods her pigtailed head.
    When I feel like I have a lock on Nick, I whisper, “Okay, Nick. Go!”
    He holds perfectly still.
    â€œNick, it’s okay. Do the move.”
    â€œI don’t want to hurt you.” He says it so softly that I almost forget he outweighs me.
    â€œNick, I’ve been doing this a long time. I know how to fall.”
    â€œI know, but . . .”
    â€œTrust me. You won’t hurt me.” I hug him as hard as I can and lift him off his feet. A nagging pain pulls at the left side of my spine. I should not have tried to lift such a big kid. But it’s not so bad that I can’t hide it, and I set him back down. “See how strong I am?”
    â€œUh-huh.” He seems a little more sure.
    â€œImagine I’m a big bully,” I tell him, remembering that guy Frank again, the guy who tried to force Xander into his car, and it makes me hate him all over again. But I have a job to do. I smile at the rest of the students, who are watching Nick and me expectantly. “Okay, on the count of three. One . . . two . . . three!”
    Nick bends over and twists just the way he’s supposed to.
    I scream as pain tears through my back.
    The next thing I know I’m staring up at the ceiling with Nick’s chubby face looking down at me. “Are you okay?”
    Yes.
    Am I?
    I thought I said yes, but maybe I didn’t speak. I couldn’t have spoken, actually, because I’m holding my breath.
    I have a feeling it’s going to hurt to breathe.
    â€œYou said I wouldn’t hurt you!” Nick squeals.
    Mark’s face appears over me. “You okay?”
    I take a tentative breath, and it hurts only a little when my rib cage expands, which is good, considering I need air to live.
    I smile and try to pick myself up, if only to keep Nick from crying. I get halfway upright when my back erupts in pain. “Oh, shit,” I say.
    The kids gasp. No swearing in the dojo.
    Slowly I ease myself upright until I’m sitting.
    Mark winces for me. “Oh, Zen. Don’t move.”
    I lie down flat again. Tears squeeze out of my eyes; my back hurts so much.
    Nick lies down on the floor next to me, his chubby cheek scrunched against the mat. “I’m sorry,” he