A Life Plan Without You. by Christine Wood

mine was around his, as he spoke softly.
    “Well is that a yes then?” Oh, hell it was a yes, his kisses
were better than the feeling I had when I put on my new
shoes.
    “A yes I think, but Samuel why do you want me?” I let out a
sigh. “And before it’s a definite yes I need some explanations
Samuel Todd?” He laughed.
    “My Sunday name, I’m not used to hearing that from anyone, but
Mum and Aunty.” With that I got another gentle kiss to my lips,
whoosh. I led him to college and to the playing field, to the wet
cricket steps. Whilst looking down for a less, wet patch to sit on.
He had already taken off his jacket and insisted we sat on
it.
    “How very gentlemanly, Samuel” I laughed, as he bowed.
“Explanations needed Samuel please.” He smiled as I called him
Samuel again.
    “I prefer to be called Sam, Michelle.” I shuffled on his
jacket, the cold coming through it. He smiled again. “Why do I want
you is a hard one to explain, but the when that’s easier? The day
you danced down the side path, that was the day I found you, you
made so many mistakes dancing down that path, it made me smile and
take note of what you were doing. You danced all the way down,
stopping and chastising yourself when you made a mistake, then
you’d go back and do it again and again until you got it right, you
looked so good doing it too.
    You looked like you didn’t have a care in the world, your only
focus was on the dance steps and get that right the one movement
you couldn’t master straight away and finally in getting that one
small step right, you’d sussed how to make the dance flow properly!
You never quit and you weren’t settling for nearly right either,
you were aiming for perfection, but you did it and the dance was
perfectly performed by you once you had!
    You were and are so nice to watch, you made me feel like I was
wrapped in a comfortable warm blanket as I watched you! You looked
and seemed relaxed and untroubled! I liked the way watching you
made me feel, you made me relax and stress free and smile. Before I
spotted you and your mad dance, I was bogged down carrying the
weight of the world on my shoulders, and I’m no Atlas Michelle…
    I was a mess, my life was wrecked and it and me were quickly
reaching the point of no return to normality. What little strength
and resolve I had was being severely tested and with even more
weight added to it daily, I was struggling to balance everything!
So either the weight would continue to get heavier until it crushed
me, or I could simply let it fall and start over again, taking it
slower and get it right by doing it better the next time. So
Michelle, I decided on letting it all go. I started slowly getting
each bad thing in my life to work right and after I’d fixed the
biggest of the problems I had, fixing that solved so many other
things that were broken, everything fell into place and started to
get better.
    Now the problems I still have are easier to deal with and
eventually my life and I will be in perfect working order again. I
have yet to thank the one person who helped me see things through
different eyes, she helped me see finally that I shouldn’t just
give up and give in. She showed me I needed to keep on trying, to
go back and do it again and again until things were
better.
    Fortunately for me it was easier than I thought it would be.
You know taking that first step? Well it was easier because I saw
someone I wanted more! That person became my focus on keeping to
the straight and narrow, but keeping to that path is a little
trickier, you see I need her help still, she has the strength I
need, the focus and the guts to help me resolve my problems, I
think? I know I got that initial strength to change, simply from
watching her, you Michelle are her, in case you were wondering who
I’m jabbering on about?
    You’re the one I want to help me get better, I think I need
you in my life Michelle to help me, in fact I know I need you
Michelle! I thank the day I