Sharpe,” I said quietly. She’d never asked me to call her Mom, or even by her first name. Even marrying into the family, I was an outsider in her eyes. The only good thing I’d done is given her a grandson.
“Can I hold him?” She asked, and set the tea on the table beside her.
“Sure,” I said, praying she had the strength to hold onto a wiggling infant. Thankfully, he was content to snuggle.
“How’s my precious boy?” She asked, kissing his forehead. She had a heart; I’d just rarely seen it.
“Does Maggie know?” I asked hesitantly. Ryan’s sister had her own life that rarely seemed to overlap with theirs these days.
“Yes, she’ll be here in time for the service,” she said, not offering up more.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” she paused, “thank you.”
I almost passed out. She’d never once thanked me before, but I hated it was under these circumstances.
Austin stirred and then found a new position. It was going to be a long day.
**
After the service, life was supposed to go on as normal, only it didn’t. Austin spiraled back into a depression, understandably so, and his mother decided to stay on a bit longer. Only in her need to stay busy and distracted, she started taking over more and more of our household. I didn’t want to step on her toes, after what she’d been through, but her usual crass ways were seeping out, and it got more difficult to hold my tongue.
I didn’t feed my family proper nutrition, and I dressed like a slob, and the housework was lacking, but with her here now she’d handle things as they should be. I tried, really I did – but now she was in my home, trying to run our lives, and while she’d just dealt with the traumatic loss of her husband, I was in the process of losing the sanctuary of my home.
Austin didn’t want to be in the middle of it, and didn’t say anything. As far as he was concerned, with his mother helping around the house and with Ryan, it took pressure off of me. Only he didn’t see me drowning; my own depression sneaking up on me. With my mother-in-law here more times than not, I didn’t know where my happiness lived anymore.
She took a leave of absence at work and was considering retiring – to move in with us. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. There was no way she was living here – no way in hell.
Her plan was to sell the house, and use it to fund her retirement, but that meant staying with us permanently. Austin was beside himself, wanting to be there for his mother, but knowing it would jeopardize our marriage. There wasn’t going to be an easy answer here, and he knew it.
The fights that grew out of our new circumstance put a wedge firmly in place. I was asking Austin to choose, and all he could see was his once strong mother, wilting like a picked flower. He was convinced I was able to handle this, and with a few ground rules in place, and the understanding that it was my home and respect would need to be mutual, we made the unfortunate decision to let her move in with us. I was tortured that he’d made his choice, and at this point, unless I was moving out – she was moving in.
She made a peace offering, knowing I wasn’t a fan of the idea, and asked me to call her Caroline. Really? That’s the big peace offering? I swallowed my pride, what little bit I had left, and greeted her with a smile. It made me sick, the idea of her living here. There was a wall between Austin and me already with everything going on, and this would make it near impossible to tear down.
Where we’d once healed, we’d broken apart again. I was selfless he said, taking her in – when he knew damn well I wasn’t given a real choice. I was bitter and angry.
Caroline slept in Ryan’s room, after we set up a bed for her. She woke with him in the mornings, and while it was nice to sleep in a bit, I missed seeing his sleepy face first thing on waking. She found a reason to function in Ryan. She fed him, dressed
“Can I hold him?” She asked, and set the tea on the table beside her.
“Sure,” I said, praying she had the strength to hold onto a wiggling infant. Thankfully, he was content to snuggle.
“How’s my precious boy?” She asked, kissing his forehead. She had a heart; I’d just rarely seen it.
“Does Maggie know?” I asked hesitantly. Ryan’s sister had her own life that rarely seemed to overlap with theirs these days.
“Yes, she’ll be here in time for the service,” she said, not offering up more.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“No,” she paused, “thank you.”
I almost passed out. She’d never once thanked me before, but I hated it was under these circumstances.
Austin stirred and then found a new position. It was going to be a long day.
**
After the service, life was supposed to go on as normal, only it didn’t. Austin spiraled back into a depression, understandably so, and his mother decided to stay on a bit longer. Only in her need to stay busy and distracted, she started taking over more and more of our household. I didn’t want to step on her toes, after what she’d been through, but her usual crass ways were seeping out, and it got more difficult to hold my tongue.
I didn’t feed my family proper nutrition, and I dressed like a slob, and the housework was lacking, but with her here now she’d handle things as they should be. I tried, really I did – but now she was in my home, trying to run our lives, and while she’d just dealt with the traumatic loss of her husband, I was in the process of losing the sanctuary of my home.
Austin didn’t want to be in the middle of it, and didn’t say anything. As far as he was concerned, with his mother helping around the house and with Ryan, it took pressure off of me. Only he didn’t see me drowning; my own depression sneaking up on me. With my mother-in-law here more times than not, I didn’t know where my happiness lived anymore.
She took a leave of absence at work and was considering retiring – to move in with us. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. There was no way she was living here – no way in hell.
Her plan was to sell the house, and use it to fund her retirement, but that meant staying with us permanently. Austin was beside himself, wanting to be there for his mother, but knowing it would jeopardize our marriage. There wasn’t going to be an easy answer here, and he knew it.
The fights that grew out of our new circumstance put a wedge firmly in place. I was asking Austin to choose, and all he could see was his once strong mother, wilting like a picked flower. He was convinced I was able to handle this, and with a few ground rules in place, and the understanding that it was my home and respect would need to be mutual, we made the unfortunate decision to let her move in with us. I was tortured that he’d made his choice, and at this point, unless I was moving out – she was moving in.
She made a peace offering, knowing I wasn’t a fan of the idea, and asked me to call her Caroline. Really? That’s the big peace offering? I swallowed my pride, what little bit I had left, and greeted her with a smile. It made me sick, the idea of her living here. There was a wall between Austin and me already with everything going on, and this would make it near impossible to tear down.
Where we’d once healed, we’d broken apart again. I was selfless he said, taking her in – when he knew damn well I wasn’t given a real choice. I was bitter and angry.
Caroline slept in Ryan’s room, after we set up a bed for her. She woke with him in the mornings, and while it was nice to sleep in a bit, I missed seeing his sleepy face first thing on waking. She found a reason to function in Ryan. She fed him, dressed
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