side.
But was she going to come out of it? Would she lose her leg? Was she going to be able to have a normal life? Olivia, for all her hard partying, also was quite athletic. She ran half marathons and was part of a bicycle group that biked all over New York City every Saturday morning. Would Addy be able to do the same when she got a little older? Could she even stay on the soccer team? Was she going to have to miss a lot of school? Would she end up getting behind so that she couldn’t graduate on time?
Was she going to die?
So many questions were tormenting my mind. I tried to tamp most of them down, but that didn’t work. I shook my head. “I can’t just sit here. I feel like I’m about to lose my mind.”
I got up and went into the kitchen. Why I was there, I didn’t necessarily know. All that I knew was that I was feeling like I couldn’t breathe, and I just had to get out of that living room. But I did think that maybe it was hospitable to offer Jack something to eat and drink, so I got out a bottle of wine and three glasses, along with some cookies that I made for Olivia as a “thank you” for watching her two sisters. With a sigh, I took them out to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. “Here, Jack, these are your favorites, I know. Chocolate chip macadamia. I made them myself.”
Jack smiled and put his hand on my knee. “Doll, you don’t have to feed me. Although you’re right - I do love these cookies. Not that I need them. You know I have to fit into my costume.” Jack was the playing the lead in a Broadway musical that was getting incredible reviews.
“Don’t be silly, you look great,” I told him. That was Jack, though – he was always so concerned that he was getting fat, although he had never been anything but in shape and slim since I had known him. “But if you don’t want one…”
“Give me those cookies,” he said, putting one into his mouth. “These cookies are like crack.”
“That they are,” Nick said, taking a cookie and breaking it in two. He gave me half of the cookie and ate the other half.
Ironically, I didn’t feel like eating the cookie myself. That worried me, because I also didn’t feel like eating the ice cream previously. That was a sure sign that I was under a lot of stress, when I stopped eating. Still, I politely put the half cookie in my mouth and ate it. It was delicious as it ever was – how could a cookie with chocolate chunks and Macadamia nuts be bad? – but I found myself barely being able to tolerate it.
We ate our cookies and drank our wine, me forcing down both of these things, while none of us knew what to say to the other. I finally decided just to address Nick and see where his head was at.
“Nick, now I know that your sister…she um…she um…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I felt like if I said it out loud that Addison’s fate would be the same. She would end up just like Michelle – desperately trying everything possible, only to find that it was all futile in the end.
“She died.” Nick didn’t have problems saying it, although I knew that he was still devastated by it. “Yes, she did. But it was a different thing. She had a very rare type of uterine cancer, and, by the time she went to the doctor about her symptoms, it had already spread. Now, I’m not going to say that it’s not the same thing here. For all we know, Addison’s cancer might have already spread as well. But I’m not going to go there just yet. For now, let’s just assume that Addison’s cancer is curable.”
“But Nick…” I didn’t want him to be naïve about this whole situation. I knew that he really wasn’t, but I needed to talk about my fears.
“No. We’re not going to have this conversation until we know more. Until we get the biopsy back and the doctor can tell us the extent of the disease in Addison’s body. If we get the tests back and it turns out that the cancer has spread, then we can talk about all
But was she going to come out of it? Would she lose her leg? Was she going to be able to have a normal life? Olivia, for all her hard partying, also was quite athletic. She ran half marathons and was part of a bicycle group that biked all over New York City every Saturday morning. Would Addy be able to do the same when she got a little older? Could she even stay on the soccer team? Was she going to have to miss a lot of school? Would she end up getting behind so that she couldn’t graduate on time?
Was she going to die?
So many questions were tormenting my mind. I tried to tamp most of them down, but that didn’t work. I shook my head. “I can’t just sit here. I feel like I’m about to lose my mind.”
I got up and went into the kitchen. Why I was there, I didn’t necessarily know. All that I knew was that I was feeling like I couldn’t breathe, and I just had to get out of that living room. But I did think that maybe it was hospitable to offer Jack something to eat and drink, so I got out a bottle of wine and three glasses, along with some cookies that I made for Olivia as a “thank you” for watching her two sisters. With a sigh, I took them out to the living room and set them down on the coffee table. “Here, Jack, these are your favorites, I know. Chocolate chip macadamia. I made them myself.”
Jack smiled and put his hand on my knee. “Doll, you don’t have to feed me. Although you’re right - I do love these cookies. Not that I need them. You know I have to fit into my costume.” Jack was the playing the lead in a Broadway musical that was getting incredible reviews.
“Don’t be silly, you look great,” I told him. That was Jack, though – he was always so concerned that he was getting fat, although he had never been anything but in shape and slim since I had known him. “But if you don’t want one…”
“Give me those cookies,” he said, putting one into his mouth. “These cookies are like crack.”
“That they are,” Nick said, taking a cookie and breaking it in two. He gave me half of the cookie and ate the other half.
Ironically, I didn’t feel like eating the cookie myself. That worried me, because I also didn’t feel like eating the ice cream previously. That was a sure sign that I was under a lot of stress, when I stopped eating. Still, I politely put the half cookie in my mouth and ate it. It was delicious as it ever was – how could a cookie with chocolate chunks and Macadamia nuts be bad? – but I found myself barely being able to tolerate it.
We ate our cookies and drank our wine, me forcing down both of these things, while none of us knew what to say to the other. I finally decided just to address Nick and see where his head was at.
“Nick, now I know that your sister…she um…she um…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it. I felt like if I said it out loud that Addison’s fate would be the same. She would end up just like Michelle – desperately trying everything possible, only to find that it was all futile in the end.
“She died.” Nick didn’t have problems saying it, although I knew that he was still devastated by it. “Yes, she did. But it was a different thing. She had a very rare type of uterine cancer, and, by the time she went to the doctor about her symptoms, it had already spread. Now, I’m not going to say that it’s not the same thing here. For all we know, Addison’s cancer might have already spread as well. But I’m not going to go there just yet. For now, let’s just assume that Addison’s cancer is curable.”
“But Nick…” I didn’t want him to be naïve about this whole situation. I knew that he really wasn’t, but I needed to talk about my fears.
“No. We’re not going to have this conversation until we know more. Until we get the biopsy back and the doctor can tell us the extent of the disease in Addison’s body. If we get the tests back and it turns out that the cancer has spread, then we can talk about all
Similar Books
