anymore."
Peter
straightens a little. "You realize what you've done, right?" I glance at him
quickly and wonder where he's going with this. "Unbelievable. You don't know,
do you?"
"Then
educate me, teacher-man. Tell me what I did that was so hideously wrong." My hands
grip the wheel tighter. This is why we haven't spoken in two days. It's because
every time I open my mouth, we fight, and I'm sick of fighting.
"You
turned on me. As soon as I told you my name, you acted like one of them ."
Peter stares straight ahead and works his jaw. I know he wants to say more, but
he doesn't.
I
keep my eyes on the dark road, watching the dotted white lines zoom by. "I did
not. You didn't lie to them, whoever them is."
Peter
cringes. "Nice grammar."
"Fuck
you, Ferro. You lied to me, like majorly lied to me. You pretended to be
somebody else from day one and never clued me in until you had to."
"That's
not true."
"Psh,
right. If my brother didn't show up with Dean, you wouldn't have told me at
all. I would have found out and felt just as stupid and used later when some
reporter figured out who you are. After everything that happened between us—" I
press my lips shut and lock my jaw. Stop talking . I know I'm going to
say things that I shouldn't say, things that I'll regret.
Peter
sighs and tips his head back against the seat. "I would have told you, Sidney.
I wanted to tell you, but it's not easy to talk about. You out of all people
should realize that."
"Yeah,
I do. I get it, but the thing is, I told you what happened to me. I told you
all of it. You only told me half. If you don't trust me—"
"That's
not it."
"Then
what is it? Oh my God, say something! You just sit there brooding all day like
a disgruntled supermodel. What the hell is wrong with you? Just say whatever it
is you have to say!" I'm so mad at him. I haven't spilled my guts to anyone the
way I did with him, and Peter held back. I can't stand it. I can't tolerate the
notion that he knew me inside out and I don't even know his goddamn name.
"I
can't, Sidney! I just can't!" He's yelling now, his hands flying like they
don't know where to go. "I screwed up, I know that. Nothing I say will fix it.
Nothing I do will show you how sorry I am. I lost you, but you're sitting right
next to me!" He grips the dashboard and turns to look at me. "You've destroyed
me. I thought I could handle this, I thought I could—"
Peter's
rant gets cut off. He glances behind us at the same time flashing lights do the
disco in my rearview mirror. Peter glances at me and slides down into his seat
with his hand over his face. "Shit. How fast were you going?"
I
cut him an evil look as I pull over. I have no idea. I want to scream and
punch. There are a million emotions that are fighting to break free inside of
me. I lock my jaw as I stop the car and pull over on the grass at the side of
the road. I put down the window and sit there with my hands on the top of the
steering wheel where the cop can see them.
He
takes his time walking over. It's a state trooper. He's an older guy, skinny
with weathered skin and angular features. He leans in and looks into the car.
"License and registration please…" The man blinks like his eyes are broken and
then tips the end of his pen at the backseat. "What are you two doing with that
animal?"
Oh
my God. I forgot about the bird. "Taking it to the vet. He's hurt."
The
man looks at me like I'm crazy. Then his gaze shifts to Peter. "Sir, what are
you doing with that bird?"
"What
she said. It can't fly and was wandering back and forth on the interstate. My
friend didn't want it to become roadkill."
The
officer gives me a strange look as I hand him my cards. He looks at them and
says, "Not many people would save a bird like that, Ms. Colleli."
"I
know. They would have asked for a fork and eaten it."
The
trooper's face scrunches together and he leans forward. He looks at the bird
again. "No one eats those things. They're living garbage bins for
Peter
straightens a little. "You realize what you've done, right?" I glance at him
quickly and wonder where he's going with this. "Unbelievable. You don't know,
do you?"
"Then
educate me, teacher-man. Tell me what I did that was so hideously wrong." My hands
grip the wheel tighter. This is why we haven't spoken in two days. It's because
every time I open my mouth, we fight, and I'm sick of fighting.
"You
turned on me. As soon as I told you my name, you acted like one of them ."
Peter stares straight ahead and works his jaw. I know he wants to say more, but
he doesn't.
I
keep my eyes on the dark road, watching the dotted white lines zoom by. "I did
not. You didn't lie to them, whoever them is."
Peter
cringes. "Nice grammar."
"Fuck
you, Ferro. You lied to me, like majorly lied to me. You pretended to be
somebody else from day one and never clued me in until you had to."
"That's
not true."
"Psh,
right. If my brother didn't show up with Dean, you wouldn't have told me at
all. I would have found out and felt just as stupid and used later when some
reporter figured out who you are. After everything that happened between us—" I
press my lips shut and lock my jaw. Stop talking . I know I'm going to
say things that I shouldn't say, things that I'll regret.
Peter
sighs and tips his head back against the seat. "I would have told you, Sidney.
I wanted to tell you, but it's not easy to talk about. You out of all people
should realize that."
"Yeah,
I do. I get it, but the thing is, I told you what happened to me. I told you
all of it. You only told me half. If you don't trust me—"
"That's
not it."
"Then
what is it? Oh my God, say something! You just sit there brooding all day like
a disgruntled supermodel. What the hell is wrong with you? Just say whatever it
is you have to say!" I'm so mad at him. I haven't spilled my guts to anyone the
way I did with him, and Peter held back. I can't stand it. I can't tolerate the
notion that he knew me inside out and I don't even know his goddamn name.
"I
can't, Sidney! I just can't!" He's yelling now, his hands flying like they
don't know where to go. "I screwed up, I know that. Nothing I say will fix it.
Nothing I do will show you how sorry I am. I lost you, but you're sitting right
next to me!" He grips the dashboard and turns to look at me. "You've destroyed
me. I thought I could handle this, I thought I could—"
Peter's
rant gets cut off. He glances behind us at the same time flashing lights do the
disco in my rearview mirror. Peter glances at me and slides down into his seat
with his hand over his face. "Shit. How fast were you going?"
I
cut him an evil look as I pull over. I have no idea. I want to scream and
punch. There are a million emotions that are fighting to break free inside of
me. I lock my jaw as I stop the car and pull over on the grass at the side of
the road. I put down the window and sit there with my hands on the top of the
steering wheel where the cop can see them.
He
takes his time walking over. It's a state trooper. He's an older guy, skinny
with weathered skin and angular features. He leans in and looks into the car.
"License and registration please…" The man blinks like his eyes are broken and
then tips the end of his pen at the backseat. "What are you two doing with that
animal?"
Oh
my God. I forgot about the bird. "Taking it to the vet. He's hurt."
The
man looks at me like I'm crazy. Then his gaze shifts to Peter. "Sir, what are
you doing with that bird?"
"What
she said. It can't fly and was wandering back and forth on the interstate. My
friend didn't want it to become roadkill."
The
officer gives me a strange look as I hand him my cards. He looks at them and
says, "Not many people would save a bird like that, Ms. Colleli."
"I
know. They would have asked for a fork and eaten it."
The
trooper's face scrunches together and he leans forward. He looks at the bird
again. "No one eats those things. They're living garbage bins for
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