Peter hard. I might as well have swung a crowbar into his stomach. He
doesn't look at me. "That's what you think, that we're the same?"
"It's
the same deception at the heart of it, isn't it?" I'm seriously asking, because
the hard part of my mind says yes, but there's a spot with a softer voice that
says Peter is not the same at all.
"Maybe.
A lie is a lie." Peter stiffens and shuts down.
I
wish I hadn't said it. "Maybe. Maybe not. Why'd you do it?"
Peter's
gaze cuts to me. It's so sharp, so bitter, that I want to look away. "I didn't
want you to know. You're right, okay? We both lied to you, we both took things
we shouldn't have, and neither of us is sorry for it."
I
blink slowly like he didn't just say that. I can't breathe. It's like his words
were a fist that shot straight into my stomach. There's an exit right in front
of me. I nearly pass it, and decide to get off at the last second. Peter
doesn't say anything when I change lanes abruptly.
We
stop in front of a motel and I pull up under the overhang. Fuck this. I wish I
left Peter in Texas. I kick open my door and go inside and get us a room. Peter
doesn't follow.
When
I come back out with the room key, I see him shake his head and end a phone
call. He runs his fingers through his dark hair and looks back at Mr. Turkey. I
slip into the car and look back at the bird. "You untied him, sort of." The
bird is still wearing the bra, but his beak is free.
"Yeah,
he wanted to talk."
I
stare at Peter for a moment, wondering what could possibly be going through his
head, why he's here, and what he wants from me. "Why did you insist on coming
with me?"
Peter
looks at me like he's tired of the question. "I already told you."
"Saying you already know isn't a reason. Tell me. Just say it."
Peter
shakes his head and smiles. "Fine. You want to do everything on your own, but
you can't. When you're around that guy, Dean, it's like your brain shuts down.
You get sucked into your past before you can blink. I read your poem, I see it
on your face, and I know what'll happen if he gets you alone. He's not getting
you alone." Peter's gaze locks onto mine as his words burn with intensity. I
need to swallow, but I can't.
"You're
all about the chivalry." I used to tease him about that, but now I'm not.
"Something
like that."
My
heart is in my throat. We stare at each other for too long and our gazes melt
together. Neither of us can look away. It's like we're both lost, drifting
aimlessly, getting torched by life and everything that's happened to us. When
my pulse is slamming in my ears like twin drums, I look away. It feels like
there's a rubber band on my head and it pulls me back, but I refuse to turn.
I
park the car. When Peter turns and gets out, I follow him into the motel room.
There's a small double bed, no shag rug, no kinky sexy tub. It's just a plain
old motel room.
CHAPTER
11
Peter's
phone rings and he disappears outside while I take a shower. When I come out, I
clutch the towel around my shoulders to hide my sheer pajama top. My hair is
still dripping with that just-crawled-out-of-the-gutter, tangled look. I need
to wait for Peter to jump in the shower so I can brush the tangles out.
Peter's
gaze flicks up when he walks inside. He sees me standing there looking like a
drowned rat. "I untied the vulture and put him down in the grass by the car. Since
he's crippled, I don't think he'll go anywhere."
"But
what if a cat gets him?"
Peter
lifts a brow at me. "I think the cat needs to be the worried one in that
scenario. He'll be okay. He survived up until now on his own." Peter clears his
throat as he walks over to the bed and digs through his bag. He pulls out a
pair of sweatpants and looks over his shoulder at me. "My brother called back.
Would you mind if we took a detour through New York? I need to get something
from him."
"What
part of New York? What do you need to get?" I sit down on a wicker chair by the
door.
"The
city, so it's not too far out of the way, but
doesn't look at me. "That's what you think, that we're the same?"
"It's
the same deception at the heart of it, isn't it?" I'm seriously asking, because
the hard part of my mind says yes, but there's a spot with a softer voice that
says Peter is not the same at all.
"Maybe.
A lie is a lie." Peter stiffens and shuts down.
I
wish I hadn't said it. "Maybe. Maybe not. Why'd you do it?"
Peter's
gaze cuts to me. It's so sharp, so bitter, that I want to look away. "I didn't
want you to know. You're right, okay? We both lied to you, we both took things
we shouldn't have, and neither of us is sorry for it."
I
blink slowly like he didn't just say that. I can't breathe. It's like his words
were a fist that shot straight into my stomach. There's an exit right in front
of me. I nearly pass it, and decide to get off at the last second. Peter
doesn't say anything when I change lanes abruptly.
We
stop in front of a motel and I pull up under the overhang. Fuck this. I wish I
left Peter in Texas. I kick open my door and go inside and get us a room. Peter
doesn't follow.
When
I come back out with the room key, I see him shake his head and end a phone
call. He runs his fingers through his dark hair and looks back at Mr. Turkey. I
slip into the car and look back at the bird. "You untied him, sort of." The
bird is still wearing the bra, but his beak is free.
"Yeah,
he wanted to talk."
I
stare at Peter for a moment, wondering what could possibly be going through his
head, why he's here, and what he wants from me. "Why did you insist on coming
with me?"
Peter
looks at me like he's tired of the question. "I already told you."
"Saying you already know isn't a reason. Tell me. Just say it."
Peter
shakes his head and smiles. "Fine. You want to do everything on your own, but
you can't. When you're around that guy, Dean, it's like your brain shuts down.
You get sucked into your past before you can blink. I read your poem, I see it
on your face, and I know what'll happen if he gets you alone. He's not getting
you alone." Peter's gaze locks onto mine as his words burn with intensity. I
need to swallow, but I can't.
"You're
all about the chivalry." I used to tease him about that, but now I'm not.
"Something
like that."
My
heart is in my throat. We stare at each other for too long and our gazes melt
together. Neither of us can look away. It's like we're both lost, drifting
aimlessly, getting torched by life and everything that's happened to us. When
my pulse is slamming in my ears like twin drums, I look away. It feels like
there's a rubber band on my head and it pulls me back, but I refuse to turn.
I
park the car. When Peter turns and gets out, I follow him into the motel room.
There's a small double bed, no shag rug, no kinky sexy tub. It's just a plain
old motel room.
CHAPTER
11
Peter's
phone rings and he disappears outside while I take a shower. When I come out, I
clutch the towel around my shoulders to hide my sheer pajama top. My hair is
still dripping with that just-crawled-out-of-the-gutter, tangled look. I need
to wait for Peter to jump in the shower so I can brush the tangles out.
Peter's
gaze flicks up when he walks inside. He sees me standing there looking like a
drowned rat. "I untied the vulture and put him down in the grass by the car. Since
he's crippled, I don't think he'll go anywhere."
"But
what if a cat gets him?"
Peter
lifts a brow at me. "I think the cat needs to be the worried one in that
scenario. He'll be okay. He survived up until now on his own." Peter clears his
throat as he walks over to the bed and digs through his bag. He pulls out a
pair of sweatpants and looks over his shoulder at me. "My brother called back.
Would you mind if we took a detour through New York? I need to get something
from him."
"What
part of New York? What do you need to get?" I sit down on a wicker chair by the
door.
"The
city, so it's not too far out of the way, but
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