roadkill."
"What
do you mean? It's a turkey."
The
man straightens and laughs, like big loud belly laugh. Peter glances at the
bird and then back at me. He shrugs. The trooper is still smiling when he bends
over again. "That's a vulture, a turkey vulture." He tries not to smile, but I
can tell he wants to. "Can you tell me why he's wearing a bra, miss?"
"My
friend is afraid of birds and I didn't have anything else to tie him up with."
The
man's eyebrows lift up to his hat. He addresses Peter. "Is that true, sir?"
"Yes."
Peter gives me a look. The officer's eyes narrow as he looks at Peter. "What's
your name, son?"
Peter
leans back into his seat like he doesn't care. "Dr. Peter Granz."
The
man continues to stare like he's trying to place Peter's face. "And you didn't
know what type of animal this was, a man with your level of education?"
"I
can't really dissuade this woman from doing something once her mind is set on
it."
The
officer glances at me and then back at Peter. "Well, I know what you mean."
He's quiet again and then he flinches like someone splashed water on his face.
Recognition grows with his smile. "You highly resemble someone—you're Pete
Ferro, aren't you?" Peter smiles and nods. "Well, why didn't you tell me that?"
The state trooper continues to talk, and I sit there and listen. Peter is
clearly uncomfortable with the attention, but he smiles all the same. He talks
with the man, the same way he would with anyone else. It's clear that the cop
is a little starstruck.
When
the cop finally is ready to leave us, I'm handed a warning and told to slow
down. "Make sure she does it, Mr. Ferro."
Peter
smiles and waves. "I will."
I
put the car in gear and pull out, accelerating slowly. Peter slouches back down
into the seat and presses his thumbs to his temples. I look at him out of the
corner of my eye and say, "So I totally forgot about the turkey."
Peter
glances up at me. There are dark circles under his eyes. His expression is
worn, beaten, and totally stressed out—but when he looks up at me he smirks,
then the smirk turns to a smile, and he laughs. "You rescued a vulture."
Peter
starts laughing and I can't stay silent. Giggles erupt inside of me. I'm too tired
and too stressed and this seems so funny.
"And
you put him in a pink bra." I can barely get the words out. Tears blur my
vision and my stomach hurts by the time I stop laughing. "God, he had to think
we were nuts."
"He
thought you were nuts, Colleli, not me."
"Do
people always act like that around you?"
"What?
Fake?" I nod. It was like the officer morphed into a shiny version of himself.
His words were excited and filled with flattery. It was like an instant wall
and there was no way it could come down once it shot up. "Yeah, most of the
time. I did the scruffy look when I was younger. That's how most people
remember me. If I stay cleaned up, I might look like a Ferro, but they don't
usually ask me outright like that."
I
nod, thinking. Glancing over at him, I say, "You don't trust anyone either, do
you?" Peter is back in his defensive I-don't-care pose with his arms across his
chest. It's a shut down, fuck-off stance.
"Not
so much, no."
The
laughter is gone. It's been sucked from the car and in its place is this empty,
hopeless feeling. Keeping my eyes on the road, I start to ponder out loud.
"We're so messed up, Peter, and it's not fair. But life's not fair, is it?
There are no do-overs no matter how much you wish for them."
Peter
watches me in the darkness. I can feel his eyes on the side of my face even
though I don't turn to look at him. "Keep going forward, Sidney. Looking at the
past only drags you back into it."
"Yeah,
but you can't learn from it if you don't look back."
"You've
learned everything you need to know."
I
smirk at him. "No, I haven't. How could you think that? I made a mistake with
Dean and I did the same damn thing with you. I can't judge character, like at
all. I was totally wrong about both of you."
My
words hit
"What
do you mean? It's a turkey."
The
man straightens and laughs, like big loud belly laugh. Peter glances at the
bird and then back at me. He shrugs. The trooper is still smiling when he bends
over again. "That's a vulture, a turkey vulture." He tries not to smile, but I
can tell he wants to. "Can you tell me why he's wearing a bra, miss?"
"My
friend is afraid of birds and I didn't have anything else to tie him up with."
The
man's eyebrows lift up to his hat. He addresses Peter. "Is that true, sir?"
"Yes."
Peter gives me a look. The officer's eyes narrow as he looks at Peter. "What's
your name, son?"
Peter
leans back into his seat like he doesn't care. "Dr. Peter Granz."
The
man continues to stare like he's trying to place Peter's face. "And you didn't
know what type of animal this was, a man with your level of education?"
"I
can't really dissuade this woman from doing something once her mind is set on
it."
The
officer glances at me and then back at Peter. "Well, I know what you mean."
He's quiet again and then he flinches like someone splashed water on his face.
Recognition grows with his smile. "You highly resemble someone—you're Pete
Ferro, aren't you?" Peter smiles and nods. "Well, why didn't you tell me that?"
The state trooper continues to talk, and I sit there and listen. Peter is
clearly uncomfortable with the attention, but he smiles all the same. He talks
with the man, the same way he would with anyone else. It's clear that the cop
is a little starstruck.
When
the cop finally is ready to leave us, I'm handed a warning and told to slow
down. "Make sure she does it, Mr. Ferro."
Peter
smiles and waves. "I will."
I
put the car in gear and pull out, accelerating slowly. Peter slouches back down
into the seat and presses his thumbs to his temples. I look at him out of the
corner of my eye and say, "So I totally forgot about the turkey."
Peter
glances up at me. There are dark circles under his eyes. His expression is
worn, beaten, and totally stressed out—but when he looks up at me he smirks,
then the smirk turns to a smile, and he laughs. "You rescued a vulture."
Peter
starts laughing and I can't stay silent. Giggles erupt inside of me. I'm too tired
and too stressed and this seems so funny.
"And
you put him in a pink bra." I can barely get the words out. Tears blur my
vision and my stomach hurts by the time I stop laughing. "God, he had to think
we were nuts."
"He
thought you were nuts, Colleli, not me."
"Do
people always act like that around you?"
"What?
Fake?" I nod. It was like the officer morphed into a shiny version of himself.
His words were excited and filled with flattery. It was like an instant wall
and there was no way it could come down once it shot up. "Yeah, most of the
time. I did the scruffy look when I was younger. That's how most people
remember me. If I stay cleaned up, I might look like a Ferro, but they don't
usually ask me outright like that."
I
nod, thinking. Glancing over at him, I say, "You don't trust anyone either, do
you?" Peter is back in his defensive I-don't-care pose with his arms across his
chest. It's a shut down, fuck-off stance.
"Not
so much, no."
The
laughter is gone. It's been sucked from the car and in its place is this empty,
hopeless feeling. Keeping my eyes on the road, I start to ponder out loud.
"We're so messed up, Peter, and it's not fair. But life's not fair, is it?
There are no do-overs no matter how much you wish for them."
Peter
watches me in the darkness. I can feel his eyes on the side of my face even
though I don't turn to look at him. "Keep going forward, Sidney. Looking at the
past only drags you back into it."
"Yeah,
but you can't learn from it if you don't look back."
"You've
learned everything you need to know."
I
smirk at him. "No, I haven't. How could you think that? I made a mistake with
Dean and I did the same damn thing with you. I can't judge character, like at
all. I was totally wrong about both of you."
My
words hit
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