Dare to Breathe by M. Homer

are home as I hear them talking together. The conversation stops the second they hear my voice but I walk in as if it doesn’t bother me. I see Nathan leaning against the counter. He looks gorgeous and for a second I can’t tear my eyes away. He hasn’t shaved and his face reflects the roughness of his day old stubble. This makes him look sexy as hell and even more dangerous. He wears jeans that sit low on his hips and a black T-shirt which helps to show off his dark skin and toned body. I see the tattoo sneaking through his biceps and I have to quickly turn away before I make an utter fool of myself and drool.
    “Where have you been?” Mandy asks with concern, coming up and giving me a hug.
    “What? Are you my mom now?” I try joking.
    I see her roll her eyes but then she pats the seat next to me. “Come sit down and join us,” she says, trying to lighten the tension in the room. “We are just deciding who is doing what next week.”
    I sit down and look at the list. I giggle when I see that I am off cooking duties completely. My giggle makes Nathan’s head turn toward me with a small curious smile.
    “What? No cooking duties? Are you firing me now?” I ask them with another giggle.
    “Nope, no cooking for you,” Ben says. “The last time you cooked I was shitting myself the whole day. You are a danger to the world around you!”
    “Beth has been teaching me the basics, you know,” I joke back, “and I can make a pretty awesome cup of coffee now!”
    “Unless we want to live on coffee, you, my friend are officially off the cooking roster,” Carrie joins in, wrapping her arms around me.
    Carrie’s friendliness confuses me, especially after what I heard and what she said to me earlier, but I roll with it anyway.
    I continue to look down at the list. “Okay, so if I am not cooking, what do I have to do instead?” I take a closer look and my smile drops when I see what is written there. “Oh no! Seriously guys, loo parole? Twice a week? You sure I can’t cook?”
    They all laugh and just like that, we go back to normal. I sit back and watch my friends as they continue to haggle on the other meaningless house duties. I feel a certain set of eyes on me but refuse to look up. I know I have to get my silly feelings under control. He has yet to say a word to me but I know he is carefully watching me and making decisions about me that I have no understanding of in his head. I wish I had a telepathic mind that could help me to get a grip on his thinking and possibly help me to understand my own too!

Chapter Twelve
    “So, we now know the things that happen in our early formative years can have a profound long term impact on the rest of our lives,” my tutor tells the class. “The implications for this, people,” she says dramatically, “is that we have to make a positive impact in the lives of the children with whom we work.”
    The class ends and we all head out. The discussion has me feeling slightly nauseous. Does this mean I can never be normal? How can I undo my past and create a better, clearer future for myself? I want to rush back in and ask her, but I know I can’t. I thought going to college and starting again would make my life turn around, but I am slowly realizing life is not so easy to change. As you move, your problems just move right along with you.
    I walk across the campus, wrapping my red tartan scarf around my neck as the autumn wind whips through the campus grounds. I decide to call home and get a good dose of loving family. When I hear my mom’s voice, my throat starts to close and I want to cry.
    “Mom,” I blurt out before she starts talking. “Did you and dad ever think of taking me to a shrink?”
    “Honey? Are you okay? What’s the matter?” she replies straight away.
    I find a quiet spot under a giant oak tree and sit beneath it.
    “Mom, my nightmares…” I take a deep breath. “How can I get rid of them and how do I do it right now?” The frustration lacing my