Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons

purse and then I had them.
    Hot damn I thought.
    It was back normal for a while until Julia and Roy came in my room for a chat. He did most of the talking. She mainly patted the bed beside her and held her fingertips up to her nose holes.
    He told me the court believes you should be with your family now.
    I do not believe it. It sounds crazy to me because the three of us could pass for a family on the street.
    But it was true and the next week I went in front of the judge.
    Julia bought me a dress for court we both hated. She said it is not exactly our style but there are some times when you have to play the game she learned the hard way.
    It had a sailor neck collar and she said here is the worst part. Lace stockings and black patting leather shoes. Conformity she said.
    When we went in the court I thought staying in the middle of Roy and Julia was best. My daddy was over there in the middle of two police but you still have to be careful.
    And lo and behold my mama’s mama.
    I had not seen her since the graveyard and there she is again to watch this time.
    They talked mainly above my head. Usually I can jump in and hang on to what you are saying but I felt so dazey in my head again that not a word made sense.
    Then the judge in the box who was extra old to have a job talked right to me. He said he had grandchildren of his own and could certainly understand her point.
    Whose point? I needed to know.
    Then I caught on it was she my mama’s mama. She was it. I knew when she looked down the row at me with the kind of eyes that say ha ha I got you now.
    All the arrangements are made they said so why bring me in here and do this in front of everybody like Julia who wants to scream she says. What do you do when the judge talks about the family society’s cornerstone but you know yours was never a Roman pillar but is and always has been crumbly old brick? I was in my seat frustrated like when my teacher makes a mistake on the chalkboard and it will not do any good to tell her because so quick she can erase it all and on to the next problem.
    He had us all mixed up with a different group of folks.
    On Sunday the food at my new mama’s is as good as it can be.
    The only thing is you have to go to church before you can have one bite.
    Usually a child will make a fuss about going to church but we do not. You might expect us to tug at our hats and kick the pews but we know better. We behave like we are somebody because my new mama gets part of the collection money every week. That goes for our support, our food and clothes.
    You go in that church and act genuine. Even if you think what he has to say that week is horse manure or even if you believe it is a lie you sit there and be still. Worse could happen than for you to sit for a hour. You could be where you came from.
    I mostly read the stain glass windows and wonder all about who they are in memory of.
    We have windows like the Pope has but his are art. I know all about that.
    The preacher says that today yes even on this very day his word will free us from the torments and distractions of the mind.
    It is hard to be a hypocrite. I look at the preacher and at my new mama and fix my face to look like hers. We all sit lined up with faces like hers. She says to be appropriate.
    It is hard too when you want to smile at the collection plates set up on the altar spilling over with folding money. Every Sunday she gets her fair share. Reach down and give! I want to announce to the sinners.
    All of us but the baby boy Roger is expected to be here on Sunday. Some teenage women tend to him in the nursery. He is much like Starletta except he is white and a baby boy.
    We always get in here and to our places before the organ prelude. That way folks can see us and rest sure that their money is well spent.
    Dora and her mama attend this church on special holidays like the Lord’s Supper and Thanksgiving. They both glide all down the row and wish they had mink stoles to flag in our faces. They