always placed it in my pocket for safe-keeping.
I left my room and made my way into the kitchen to make myself one more cup of coffee and to take the medication the doctor had prescribed to help me get over the nasty sinus infection. I was feeling better, but I wanted to make sure I took all of it so that I didn’t risk the chance of it coming back. I pulled a pony-tail holder I had on my wrist off and pulled my hair back into a low, messy bun before securing it with the band. My long hair always seemed to get in the way while I was painting, and I soon learned to keep it pulled back.
I thought about how I was going to see Rownan again today in class. I knew he would have to strip down for us again to complete our abstracts. Only, the painting I did on Monday was not Rownan but Dominic. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn’t get Dominic off of my mind. I was heartbroken and missing him, more than words could say. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of how much I loved him, but also reminded of the damage I had caused him. With Kelly gone, and my betrayal, I was left alone to my thoughts, which was a dangerous place to be.
I sighed as I grabbed my purse and my phone to leave for my art class. With my heart and mind heavy, I forced myself to go on vowing to try to find a way out of this predicament I was in.
Ugh.
Happy birthday to me.
How the fuck could I have gone off the deep end like that? Knox was going to fucking kill me when he found out what I had done. It was like someone had taken possession over my mind and body, and I was only existing in the moment.
Damn, I couldn’t describe how wonderful it felt to be inside of Ashley again, but I was also tormented by it. It was a curse, both heaven and hell. It was a reminder how things were, and of how things could have been. I felt like a slave to my emotions every time I was around her. Her touches, her scent, her skin—all like shots of heroin to my system and she was the only person who could provide my fix.
I walked over to the window of my apartment and rested my forehead upon the cool glass to stare out at the Chicago skyline. I went over to Ashley’s house in search of answers, and I left with only more questions than I had before. How the fuck this one woman could get to me when no one else had or could ever, I don’t know.
I was startled when I heard the front door of the apartment open and in walked Knox, Victoria, and Toby. They were chatting and didn’t notice me standing at the window in a moment of desperation to try to clear my head.
“Nic, Toby, and Vic are here so that we can start going over stuff for our defense,” Knox yelled into the room. I pushed away from the window and walked over to where my friends had gathered around the coffee table with bags of Chinese food. After pulling out enough food to feed an army, we all filled our plates and dug in.
“So, Toby, what is the game plan?” Knox asked as he chewed on his lo mein noodles. I grabbed one of the beers from the table and twisted off the top, downing the cool, flavor of hops and barley until nothing was left in the bottle but a tiny bit of foam.
“Damn, Nic, you alright?” Victoria asked as I reached for another bottle, bypassing the food on my plate in favor of the liquid memory eraser.
“Yeah, Vic, I’m perfectly fine, I just had my future and heart ripped out of my fucking chest by a woman, no big deal,” I snapped. She visibly flinched at my words, and as soon as I said them, I felt bad for my verbal outburst. It wasn’t her fault that I was in a fucking pissy mood or the fact that the one woman I fell in love with had destroyed me.
“Damn, Nic, don’t take it out on her,” Toby said in chastisement. I scooted over to Victoria and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Vic, I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” I said as I squeezed her against my side. I have always felt comfortable around Victoria; we became great friends
I left my room and made my way into the kitchen to make myself one more cup of coffee and to take the medication the doctor had prescribed to help me get over the nasty sinus infection. I was feeling better, but I wanted to make sure I took all of it so that I didn’t risk the chance of it coming back. I pulled a pony-tail holder I had on my wrist off and pulled my hair back into a low, messy bun before securing it with the band. My long hair always seemed to get in the way while I was painting, and I soon learned to keep it pulled back.
I thought about how I was going to see Rownan again today in class. I knew he would have to strip down for us again to complete our abstracts. Only, the painting I did on Monday was not Rownan but Dominic. It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn’t get Dominic off of my mind. I was heartbroken and missing him, more than words could say. Everywhere I went, I was reminded of how much I loved him, but also reminded of the damage I had caused him. With Kelly gone, and my betrayal, I was left alone to my thoughts, which was a dangerous place to be.
I sighed as I grabbed my purse and my phone to leave for my art class. With my heart and mind heavy, I forced myself to go on vowing to try to find a way out of this predicament I was in.
Ugh.
Happy birthday to me.
How the fuck could I have gone off the deep end like that? Knox was going to fucking kill me when he found out what I had done. It was like someone had taken possession over my mind and body, and I was only existing in the moment.
Damn, I couldn’t describe how wonderful it felt to be inside of Ashley again, but I was also tormented by it. It was a curse, both heaven and hell. It was a reminder how things were, and of how things could have been. I felt like a slave to my emotions every time I was around her. Her touches, her scent, her skin—all like shots of heroin to my system and she was the only person who could provide my fix.
I walked over to the window of my apartment and rested my forehead upon the cool glass to stare out at the Chicago skyline. I went over to Ashley’s house in search of answers, and I left with only more questions than I had before. How the fuck this one woman could get to me when no one else had or could ever, I don’t know.
I was startled when I heard the front door of the apartment open and in walked Knox, Victoria, and Toby. They were chatting and didn’t notice me standing at the window in a moment of desperation to try to clear my head.
“Nic, Toby, and Vic are here so that we can start going over stuff for our defense,” Knox yelled into the room. I pushed away from the window and walked over to where my friends had gathered around the coffee table with bags of Chinese food. After pulling out enough food to feed an army, we all filled our plates and dug in.
“So, Toby, what is the game plan?” Knox asked as he chewed on his lo mein noodles. I grabbed one of the beers from the table and twisted off the top, downing the cool, flavor of hops and barley until nothing was left in the bottle but a tiny bit of foam.
“Damn, Nic, you alright?” Victoria asked as I reached for another bottle, bypassing the food on my plate in favor of the liquid memory eraser.
“Yeah, Vic, I’m perfectly fine, I just had my future and heart ripped out of my fucking chest by a woman, no big deal,” I snapped. She visibly flinched at my words, and as soon as I said them, I felt bad for my verbal outburst. It wasn’t her fault that I was in a fucking pissy mood or the fact that the one woman I fell in love with had destroyed me.
“Damn, Nic, don’t take it out on her,” Toby said in chastisement. I scooted over to Victoria and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Vic, I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” I said as I squeezed her against my side. I have always felt comfortable around Victoria; we became great friends
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