climbed in and sat back on the black velvet seat for the ride.
ARRIVING IN HER room at the abbey, Lili missed Delphine with such intensity that the hair on her scalp prickled and her heart seemed to forget a beat. Since she had turned twelve in September, Delphine would be quick to follow; by now they slept in the same bed less and less, because Lili stayed up late with her books, and Delphine complained about the light from the lamp. At the abbey, just like at home, Lili usually finished her toilette as quickly as she could, then sat watching Delphine dawdle over her own. Delphine always wanted her hair and dress just so, fussing over the tiniest details of her appearance so as not to risk Anne-Mathilde and Joséphine’s scorn—though anyone could see that was hopeless. But despite how unlike they were, she and Delphine went through their days side by side, and tonight, for the first time since they came to the convent, Lili would be sleeping in their room alone.
She went to Delphine’s bed and picked up a small white pillow in the shape of a dog—a gift from Maman after Delphine cried about having to leave Tintin behind when she stayed in the abbey. Lili put the dog pillow on her own bed and gave it an affectionate pat. Then it was time for the routine: hat and boots off, dress changed, soft shoes buttoned. Go down the hall, greet Abbess Marie-Catherine, make the sign of the cross, pray, feign interest in catechism. Then, finally, hours later, the moment of release, when she could lie down in her room to sort out her thoughts in blessed privacy.
THE PRESENCE OF someone in her room was so oppressive that Lili sensed it as she walked down the hall after her lessons. Sister Jeanne-Bertrand stood up when Lili entered. “I am to take you directly to the abbess,” she said.
“But I greeted her already, when I came back,” Lili protested.
“With deceit in your heart!” Anger pushed the nun’s voice so forcefully through her nose that it sounded as if her skull was vibrating. She stood up, and with the full force of her hand, she slapped Lili across the face.
“What deceit?” Lili’s voice trembled more with rage than pain. She touched her hot cheek, feeling the welt rise. Mon Dieu, can these nuns read my mind? She had barely spoken a word since she returned, and now it seemed even silence wasn’t going to protect her.
“This!” Sister Jeanne-Bertrand hissed, picking up Emile and shaking it. “How did you come to have a forbidden book?”
A forbidden book? She’d gotten into the sedan chair without a thought to what she had left behind in the coach. The momentary thrill of having conversed at Maman’s salon with someone important enough to have his work banned by the church gave way to panic. “I—”
Think first. Lili could sense Maman whispering to her. Most people are not receptive to the truth. She took a breath and looked squarely at the nun. “Someone left it on a table in our parlor.Maman doesn’t know I took it, and I’m not even sure she knew it was left there.”
Her cheek was throbbing, but she managed to swallow, despite what felt like a rock in her throat. “I didn’t know it was a bad book. I only looked at the first few words in the carriage. And I always bring something from home to read in the evenings, that’s all.” The nun’s eyes glinted and narrowed. “Before I say my prayers,” Lili added, hating herself for pandering, but desperate to banish the terrifying pall the nun had cast over the room.
“Prayers indeed, with your immortal soul in peril!” Sister Jeanne-Bertrand shook with indignation. “Bringing a book that blasphemes our Lord into a place dedicated to His glory?”
Lili touched her hot and swollen cheek as her anger boiled up toward the loveless nun who had invaded her room, toward Sister Thérèse for disrespecting someone as gentle and sweet as Delphine, and toward all the girls like Anne-Mathilde and Joséphine, who composed their faces in pious
ARRIVING IN HER room at the abbey, Lili missed Delphine with such intensity that the hair on her scalp prickled and her heart seemed to forget a beat. Since she had turned twelve in September, Delphine would be quick to follow; by now they slept in the same bed less and less, because Lili stayed up late with her books, and Delphine complained about the light from the lamp. At the abbey, just like at home, Lili usually finished her toilette as quickly as she could, then sat watching Delphine dawdle over her own. Delphine always wanted her hair and dress just so, fussing over the tiniest details of her appearance so as not to risk Anne-Mathilde and Joséphine’s scorn—though anyone could see that was hopeless. But despite how unlike they were, she and Delphine went through their days side by side, and tonight, for the first time since they came to the convent, Lili would be sleeping in their room alone.
She went to Delphine’s bed and picked up a small white pillow in the shape of a dog—a gift from Maman after Delphine cried about having to leave Tintin behind when she stayed in the abbey. Lili put the dog pillow on her own bed and gave it an affectionate pat. Then it was time for the routine: hat and boots off, dress changed, soft shoes buttoned. Go down the hall, greet Abbess Marie-Catherine, make the sign of the cross, pray, feign interest in catechism. Then, finally, hours later, the moment of release, when she could lie down in her room to sort out her thoughts in blessed privacy.
THE PRESENCE OF someone in her room was so oppressive that Lili sensed it as she walked down the hall after her lessons. Sister Jeanne-Bertrand stood up when Lili entered. “I am to take you directly to the abbess,” she said.
“But I greeted her already, when I came back,” Lili protested.
“With deceit in your heart!” Anger pushed the nun’s voice so forcefully through her nose that it sounded as if her skull was vibrating. She stood up, and with the full force of her hand, she slapped Lili across the face.
“What deceit?” Lili’s voice trembled more with rage than pain. She touched her hot cheek, feeling the welt rise. Mon Dieu, can these nuns read my mind? She had barely spoken a word since she returned, and now it seemed even silence wasn’t going to protect her.
“This!” Sister Jeanne-Bertrand hissed, picking up Emile and shaking it. “How did you come to have a forbidden book?”
A forbidden book? She’d gotten into the sedan chair without a thought to what she had left behind in the coach. The momentary thrill of having conversed at Maman’s salon with someone important enough to have his work banned by the church gave way to panic. “I—”
Think first. Lili could sense Maman whispering to her. Most people are not receptive to the truth. She took a breath and looked squarely at the nun. “Someone left it on a table in our parlor.Maman doesn’t know I took it, and I’m not even sure she knew it was left there.”
Her cheek was throbbing, but she managed to swallow, despite what felt like a rock in her throat. “I didn’t know it was a bad book. I only looked at the first few words in the carriage. And I always bring something from home to read in the evenings, that’s all.” The nun’s eyes glinted and narrowed. “Before I say my prayers,” Lili added, hating herself for pandering, but desperate to banish the terrifying pall the nun had cast over the room.
“Prayers indeed, with your immortal soul in peril!” Sister Jeanne-Bertrand shook with indignation. “Bringing a book that blasphemes our Lord into a place dedicated to His glory?”
Lili touched her hot and swollen cheek as her anger boiled up toward the loveless nun who had invaded her room, toward Sister Thérèse for disrespecting someone as gentle and sweet as Delphine, and toward all the girls like Anne-Mathilde and Joséphine, who composed their faces in pious
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