again but it’s as if he’s in a trance. It overtakes me and sadness for Jack consumes me right before the darkness.
Chapter 11
Ever
“Ever, Ever, wake up.”
I hear Jacks voice. It sounds distant but then it gets closer. I realize I’ve been sleeping and I panic thinking I called out in my sleep again. But then I think about the last thing I remember. No, I fainted again. Oh Ever, you gotta stop this. I remember why I fainted and stop chastising myself.
I open my eyes slowly and see troubled green staring back at me. Of course, he’s troubled. Jaspen is asking him to feed me to the wolves, so to speak. He caresses my cheek and smiles slowly. It doesn’t reach his eyes. What have I done to you?
I sit up carefully and glance around. We’re in the blue room back in Amber’s dwelling. This helps to calm me. Some sort of semblance before everything is turned inside out literally.
Staring at him solidifies what I’ve done to him all the way around and how everything is falling apart around us, once again. That annoying thing, guilt, has reared its ugly head once again.
He breaks the silence that seems to spread, distancing us from each other. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I am.” I try to lighten the mood, “I really thought I was past this fainting business.”
My tactic doesn’t work. His eyes are fierce and angry.
“Ever, I’m so sorry. I told him no. He can’t expect you to do that after all you’ve been through.”
He softens and quietly adds, “And if you go, then I can’t protect you.”
He sinks into the bunk and gathers me in his arms. I rest my head on his chest and savor the rise and fall of his breathing.
You know when you struggle with choices and decisions and you waver back and forth forever never knowing what the wisest choice is? Then one day you wake up, it’s as if the answer was there all along and all you had to do was grasp it. This happens to me as I relax into my rock, my one constant. We are so good together and because of that fact I know what I have to do. I’m terrified and sad but more importantly I know that it’s the right decision for Jack. I owe him so much. He has saved me in every way possible. It’s my turn to save him.
I glance up at him and smile softly as our eyes lock. Blue seeps through his eyes matching the water around us. He lowers his head so our lips barely graze one another. So much feeling in such a slight touch. I linger, feeling every part of my body that is touching him. Finally, I pull away and try to shake off the fact that I want to curl up in his arms and forget about the crumbling world around us. I pull back ever further and look away.
His hand comes up under my chin and forces me to look at him.
“Hey, what was that?”
My gaze wavers and so does my courage. This is going to be so much harder than I thought.
I shake my head deciding now isn’t the moment, “Nothing.”
I curl back up against him and l knstw isisten to his heart beat once again. The constant thumping that is my life line now. I smile thinking that my best friend Gabbi would so disapprove of this. She would ask, “What ever happened to women’s liberation? Why can’t I live without a man?” I miss her so much. Times like this make me want to go back and bounce my thoughts around with her. She would help me decide if I’m doing the right thing or not.
Jack slowly leans back into the bunk and I find a cozy spot in the crook of his arm. I am so going to miss this.
Chapter 12
James
I wake up thinking about the unexpected visit from Sara yesterday. Once I gave in and wrapped my arms around her, I knew I was a goner. Today though, I have a clearer head without her presence and I’m feeling okay about it. Yes, if Ever knew she came to visit, I’d get hell. But this is my life and I have some big decisions to make.
Sara asked me to come back to the sea with her. I know I’m a nut
Chapter 11
Ever
“Ever, Ever, wake up.”
I hear Jacks voice. It sounds distant but then it gets closer. I realize I’ve been sleeping and I panic thinking I called out in my sleep again. But then I think about the last thing I remember. No, I fainted again. Oh Ever, you gotta stop this. I remember why I fainted and stop chastising myself.
I open my eyes slowly and see troubled green staring back at me. Of course, he’s troubled. Jaspen is asking him to feed me to the wolves, so to speak. He caresses my cheek and smiles slowly. It doesn’t reach his eyes. What have I done to you?
I sit up carefully and glance around. We’re in the blue room back in Amber’s dwelling. This helps to calm me. Some sort of semblance before everything is turned inside out literally.
Staring at him solidifies what I’ve done to him all the way around and how everything is falling apart around us, once again. That annoying thing, guilt, has reared its ugly head once again.
He breaks the silence that seems to spread, distancing us from each other. “Are you feeling alright?”
“Yeah, I am.” I try to lighten the mood, “I really thought I was past this fainting business.”
My tactic doesn’t work. His eyes are fierce and angry.
“Ever, I’m so sorry. I told him no. He can’t expect you to do that after all you’ve been through.”
He softens and quietly adds, “And if you go, then I can’t protect you.”
He sinks into the bunk and gathers me in his arms. I rest my head on his chest and savor the rise and fall of his breathing.
You know when you struggle with choices and decisions and you waver back and forth forever never knowing what the wisest choice is? Then one day you wake up, it’s as if the answer was there all along and all you had to do was grasp it. This happens to me as I relax into my rock, my one constant. We are so good together and because of that fact I know what I have to do. I’m terrified and sad but more importantly I know that it’s the right decision for Jack. I owe him so much. He has saved me in every way possible. It’s my turn to save him.
I glance up at him and smile softly as our eyes lock. Blue seeps through his eyes matching the water around us. He lowers his head so our lips barely graze one another. So much feeling in such a slight touch. I linger, feeling every part of my body that is touching him. Finally, I pull away and try to shake off the fact that I want to curl up in his arms and forget about the crumbling world around us. I pull back ever further and look away.
His hand comes up under my chin and forces me to look at him.
“Hey, what was that?”
My gaze wavers and so does my courage. This is going to be so much harder than I thought.
I shake my head deciding now isn’t the moment, “Nothing.”
I curl back up against him and l knstw isisten to his heart beat once again. The constant thumping that is my life line now. I smile thinking that my best friend Gabbi would so disapprove of this. She would ask, “What ever happened to women’s liberation? Why can’t I live without a man?” I miss her so much. Times like this make me want to go back and bounce my thoughts around with her. She would help me decide if I’m doing the right thing or not.
Jack slowly leans back into the bunk and I find a cozy spot in the crook of his arm. I am so going to miss this.
Chapter 12
James
I wake up thinking about the unexpected visit from Sara yesterday. Once I gave in and wrapped my arms around her, I knew I was a goner. Today though, I have a clearer head without her presence and I’m feeling okay about it. Yes, if Ever knew she came to visit, I’d get hell. But this is my life and I have some big decisions to make.
Sara asked me to come back to the sea with her. I know I’m a nut
Similar Books
