smile. “Thanks again for fixing me up. I love the dress, though the shoes make me wobbly.”
She sniffles. “You’re welcome.” She shrugs. “Now do you want the scoop or not?”
“Sure,” I say, standing. Following Gina to the door. It’s ten-thirty at night. The perfect time to get the party started, according to Gina. I have to admit I’m excited about trying alcohol again. The liquid is warmth and peace. It’s numbness, and feeling everything good. It makes me bold.
“His name is Kyle Hadley,” she begins.
That I already know.
“He’s a sophomore, and apparently Bitchy Spears thinks he’s a genius.”
I didn’t know that. Maybe he still writes poetry.
Her eyes meet mine. “He’s kind of a slut.” She raises an eyebrow. “I’m not sure if you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” She snickers.
“It’s…” I shrug. I have no idea what to say.
She continues, “And word is, he likes the kinky stuff.”
“What?” My eyes blink several times. “What do you mean by ‘kinky?’”
“Shit, roomie. Have you been living in a nunnery? Whips. Handcuffs. Hell, I don’t know. There are several levels of kink.”
I open my mouth. Close it. My heart is pounding. Handcuffs? Whips? I’m way out of my league. My brain can’t even attach those things to making love. If that’s what Kyle wants, then he’ll never be interested in me.
Which is what you want, I tell myself. But the desire spreading through my belly suggests I might be willing to learn. If Kyle were to show me.
“No, I haven’t lived in a nunnery.” Not quite. My home life is sort of throwback to the seventies. “When life was laid back,” my uncle has said on more than one occasion.
Her brows pinch together. “Are you a-a virgin, Maddelena Martin?”
My face heats up. “So what if I am?” What’s the big deal? I’m sure lots of people are virgins. Besides, the only boy I want to give myself to is the son of the man who killed my parents. It kind of takes the romance out of everything. Plus, apparently he’s a kinky slut.
“ Fuck.” Gina scrunches her hair and walks in a circle. “I mean shit, shit, shit. This is serious.”
Tonight she’s wearing a black bustier at tached to a tutu. It’s lacy and hooks in the front, with long black bow ties under her breasts. Black leggings and her ankle boots complete the outfit. Her eyes are lined in black again, and her hair is everywhere, but flawlessly placed. She looks gorgeous, but something feels off.
I wish I could be so daring. She’s got me in a red sheath dress. My legs are bare, and I’m wearing red strappy heels. I’m an inch taller, but Gina and I wear the same size clothes and shoes. This outfit is bolder than I’ve ever been. I long for my ballet flats.
“Okay, I get it,” I say, crossing my arms, covering my cleavage. “You’re shocked. Whatever. Let’s just go to this party already.”
She grabs my arms and looks directly in my eyes. Hers are twinkling with surprise, shock, and maybe disgust. “Shit,” she says again, this time smiling.
“ Wh-when did you do it?” I ask, glancing down at her tutu.
“I was fourteen.” Her voice trembles slightly.
I look up. “I-I…” A part of me wants to tell her about my tattoos. How I got my first when I was fourteen, and what each of them means. That I get them because on the anniversary of the day my parents died the pain is too strong, and I can’t breathe until a needle is piercing my skin a thousand times a minute. I want to tell her that I can’t visit their graves, that I see a therapist just like she does. I get the feeling she would understand. But at the last second I chicken out. “I think that’s fantastic,” I add quietly.
She laughs, her face filled to brimming with genuine joy. “I f you could’ve seen your face. Someday you’ll tell me what you actually meant to say just now.”
I nod, relieved. “Yeah, someday.”
She grabs a tissue and blows her nose , then
She sniffles. “You’re welcome.” She shrugs. “Now do you want the scoop or not?”
“Sure,” I say, standing. Following Gina to the door. It’s ten-thirty at night. The perfect time to get the party started, according to Gina. I have to admit I’m excited about trying alcohol again. The liquid is warmth and peace. It’s numbness, and feeling everything good. It makes me bold.
“His name is Kyle Hadley,” she begins.
That I already know.
“He’s a sophomore, and apparently Bitchy Spears thinks he’s a genius.”
I didn’t know that. Maybe he still writes poetry.
Her eyes meet mine. “He’s kind of a slut.” She raises an eyebrow. “I’m not sure if you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing.” She snickers.
“It’s…” I shrug. I have no idea what to say.
She continues, “And word is, he likes the kinky stuff.”
“What?” My eyes blink several times. “What do you mean by ‘kinky?’”
“Shit, roomie. Have you been living in a nunnery? Whips. Handcuffs. Hell, I don’t know. There are several levels of kink.”
I open my mouth. Close it. My heart is pounding. Handcuffs? Whips? I’m way out of my league. My brain can’t even attach those things to making love. If that’s what Kyle wants, then he’ll never be interested in me.
Which is what you want, I tell myself. But the desire spreading through my belly suggests I might be willing to learn. If Kyle were to show me.
“No, I haven’t lived in a nunnery.” Not quite. My home life is sort of throwback to the seventies. “When life was laid back,” my uncle has said on more than one occasion.
Her brows pinch together. “Are you a-a virgin, Maddelena Martin?”
My face heats up. “So what if I am?” What’s the big deal? I’m sure lots of people are virgins. Besides, the only boy I want to give myself to is the son of the man who killed my parents. It kind of takes the romance out of everything. Plus, apparently he’s a kinky slut.
“ Fuck.” Gina scrunches her hair and walks in a circle. “I mean shit, shit, shit. This is serious.”
Tonight she’s wearing a black bustier at tached to a tutu. It’s lacy and hooks in the front, with long black bow ties under her breasts. Black leggings and her ankle boots complete the outfit. Her eyes are lined in black again, and her hair is everywhere, but flawlessly placed. She looks gorgeous, but something feels off.
I wish I could be so daring. She’s got me in a red sheath dress. My legs are bare, and I’m wearing red strappy heels. I’m an inch taller, but Gina and I wear the same size clothes and shoes. This outfit is bolder than I’ve ever been. I long for my ballet flats.
“Okay, I get it,” I say, crossing my arms, covering my cleavage. “You’re shocked. Whatever. Let’s just go to this party already.”
She grabs my arms and looks directly in my eyes. Hers are twinkling with surprise, shock, and maybe disgust. “Shit,” she says again, this time smiling.
“ Wh-when did you do it?” I ask, glancing down at her tutu.
“I was fourteen.” Her voice trembles slightly.
I look up. “I-I…” A part of me wants to tell her about my tattoos. How I got my first when I was fourteen, and what each of them means. That I get them because on the anniversary of the day my parents died the pain is too strong, and I can’t breathe until a needle is piercing my skin a thousand times a minute. I want to tell her that I can’t visit their graves, that I see a therapist just like she does. I get the feeling she would understand. But at the last second I chicken out. “I think that’s fantastic,” I add quietly.
She laughs, her face filled to brimming with genuine joy. “I f you could’ve seen your face. Someday you’ll tell me what you actually meant to say just now.”
I nod, relieved. “Yeah, someday.”
She grabs a tissue and blows her nose , then
Similar Books
