made for confrontation. Well, that was the conclusion I came to when I
found Ash sitting on my bed.
“We need to
talk,” she said when I walked in. I smiled and joined her, wanting to forget
the encounter I had just had.
“You
first,” I said.
“Okay…are
you okay?”
“I’m fine,”
I nodded in surprise.
She
hesitated.
“I’m
okay…really,” I tried to smile.
“Okay,” she
said again, sighing.
“I’m sorry
I didn’t tell you, Ash,” I said quietly. I knew I couldn’t blame her for being
angry, but the only reason I was actually sorry was because I’d hurt her.
She nodded,
“Okay, but why…?”
“Didn’t I
tell you?”
She nodded
again.
“I didn’t
tell anyone really, Rachel kind of just… found out.”
“Okay, I
guess…” She added, “Are you, o kay? ”
I raised an
eyebrow.
“I mean,
with eating…” She rambled awkwardly.
“Ash that
was a really long time ago. I’m fine now.”
She nodded
again. She was silent for a while.
“Is it
true…you felt sorry for me?” She asked hesitantly, adhering to her unfortunate
habit of asking questions she didn’t really want the answer to.
I sighed,
“What do you want me to say Ash? Of course I felt bad…”
I thought
of all the days she ate lunch alone. The way no one seemed to notice her in the
halls, as if they could just walk through her. And she seemed to buy into the
idea of her own invisibility, trying to make herself as small as possible,
apologizing for her own existence with every move she made and every word she
spoke.
I looked up
to see the tears threatening to spill. “But…” I tried to say quickly, “You’re not some charity case…you’re my
best friend…I’m sorry.”
“I’m not
mad,” she said, wiping the tears from her face. “I…I just wonder how I ended up
being that girl. Like there’s
something wrong with me…”
I couldn’t
understand what she said after that, but I hugged her anyway, nodding
periodically to give her the impression that I understood. I hugged her until
she finally stopped sobbing. She pulled away, delicately brushing droplets from
her eyelashes, “I’m sorry. I feel so stupid, you have more important things to
deal with.”
That was why I never told Ashton. I mean, I
didn’t tell anyone, but especially not
her. From now on she would probably watch me every time I ate; she would make
that face whenever I said I wasn’t hungry. She would be like an overbearing
mother and the fact that I knew she meant well wouldn’t make it any less
frustrating. I didn’t mind so much when only Rachel knew, she never talked
about it, not even in the beginning. Of course this tended to be how Rachel
coped with things, the same way she was dealing with what Ashton had brought
up.
I smiled
reassuringly, “It’s okay.”
“If there’s
anything I can do to help‒.” She stopped when I shook my head at her.
“Actually,”
a thought struck me, “There is something
you could do to help me.”
She waited
eagerly.
“You could
apologize to Rachel,” I said quickly, hoping she’d agree before registering my
words.
She
frowned, “I’m sorry, can’t do that.” She was out the door before I could say
anything else.
I groaned.
I’d never heard Ash say no to anyone before. I knew already this was going to
be a summer of firsts. I was still hoping some of them would be for the better.
It’s Always the Quiet Ones
I looked up
anxiously at the sound of a knock on my door. Ironically, Ash had stopped
talking to me when I’d tried to restore peace by asking her to apologize to
Rachel. And the only contact I actually had with Rachel was when I would
occasionally check her room at night to make sure she had come home. Needless
to say, I was a bit anxious at the prospect of having a visitor.
"Come
in," I said curiously. "Rachel?" I questioned, more in surprise
than anger as I watched her walk in.
Her arms
were locked
found Ash sitting on my bed.
“We need to
talk,” she said when I walked in. I smiled and joined her, wanting to forget
the encounter I had just had.
“You
first,” I said.
“Okay…are
you okay?”
“I’m fine,”
I nodded in surprise.
She
hesitated.
“I’m
okay…really,” I tried to smile.
“Okay,” she
said again, sighing.
“I’m sorry
I didn’t tell you, Ash,” I said quietly. I knew I couldn’t blame her for being
angry, but the only reason I was actually sorry was because I’d hurt her.
She nodded,
“Okay, but why…?”
“Didn’t I
tell you?”
She nodded
again.
“I didn’t
tell anyone really, Rachel kind of just… found out.”
“Okay, I
guess…” She added, “Are you, o kay? ”
I raised an
eyebrow.
“I mean,
with eating…” She rambled awkwardly.
“Ash that
was a really long time ago. I’m fine now.”
She nodded
again. She was silent for a while.
“Is it
true…you felt sorry for me?” She asked hesitantly, adhering to her unfortunate
habit of asking questions she didn’t really want the answer to.
I sighed,
“What do you want me to say Ash? Of course I felt bad…”
I thought
of all the days she ate lunch alone. The way no one seemed to notice her in the
halls, as if they could just walk through her. And she seemed to buy into the
idea of her own invisibility, trying to make herself as small as possible,
apologizing for her own existence with every move she made and every word she
spoke.
I looked up
to see the tears threatening to spill. “But…” I tried to say quickly, “You’re not some charity case…you’re my
best friend…I’m sorry.”
“I’m not
mad,” she said, wiping the tears from her face. “I…I just wonder how I ended up
being that girl. Like there’s
something wrong with me…”
I couldn’t
understand what she said after that, but I hugged her anyway, nodding
periodically to give her the impression that I understood. I hugged her until
she finally stopped sobbing. She pulled away, delicately brushing droplets from
her eyelashes, “I’m sorry. I feel so stupid, you have more important things to
deal with.”
That was why I never told Ashton. I mean, I
didn’t tell anyone, but especially not
her. From now on she would probably watch me every time I ate; she would make
that face whenever I said I wasn’t hungry. She would be like an overbearing
mother and the fact that I knew she meant well wouldn’t make it any less
frustrating. I didn’t mind so much when only Rachel knew, she never talked
about it, not even in the beginning. Of course this tended to be how Rachel
coped with things, the same way she was dealing with what Ashton had brought
up.
I smiled
reassuringly, “It’s okay.”
“If there’s
anything I can do to help‒.” She stopped when I shook my head at her.
“Actually,”
a thought struck me, “There is something
you could do to help me.”
She waited
eagerly.
“You could
apologize to Rachel,” I said quickly, hoping she’d agree before registering my
words.
She
frowned, “I’m sorry, can’t do that.” She was out the door before I could say
anything else.
I groaned.
I’d never heard Ash say no to anyone before. I knew already this was going to
be a summer of firsts. I was still hoping some of them would be for the better.
It’s Always the Quiet Ones
I looked up
anxiously at the sound of a knock on my door. Ironically, Ash had stopped
talking to me when I’d tried to restore peace by asking her to apologize to
Rachel. And the only contact I actually had with Rachel was when I would
occasionally check her room at night to make sure she had come home. Needless
to say, I was a bit anxious at the prospect of having a visitor.
"Come
in," I said curiously. "Rachel?" I questioned, more in surprise
than anger as I watched her walk in.
Her arms
were locked
Similar Books
