and pulled her to her. “I’m here, Kay. I’m here.” Kayley sat, curled into Emily’s arms, with her parents and Alex’s parents, all of them silent and all of them thinking about the times they had been in this hospital together.
Kayley thought back to that day 13 months ago, after she was told Alex was never coming back.
“Kayley,” her mom’s voice had soothed her, stopped her screaming and reduced it to just whimpering. “You should go see him, honey. Say goodbye.”
It had been three hours since they told Kayley that her husband, Alexander Reed Carson, age 27, had passed away. From what the police gathered so far from the accident, Alex was driving home from work when a car going much too fast ran the red light and t-boned his side of the car, which shoved him into another car, then that car into another. Alex had been wearing his seat belt, but the car struck him so hard that his seatbelt broke and he went through the windshield. The man who had hit him had died also on impact; the other two passengers of the other cars Alex hit had minor injuries and walked away. There was an investigation to see if drinking was involved.
Kayley clung to her mom, her eyes roaming the waiting room filled with her and Alex’s family and friends. No one spoke- there was no need. Everyone was in shock and didn’t hardly move. The doctor had come in and urged Kayley and Alex’s family to come say goodbye. They had him cleaned up, ready to move him to the morgue.
“Do you want me to go with you, honey?” her mom asked, smoothing her hair away from her face. That simple motherly gesture that she had always done when Kayley was upset spurred more tears to come from her eyes. Her eyes felt like sandpaper and her eyelids, weights. She didn’t think she could possibly cry again…
“No,” Kayley’s voice was shaky but strong. “I need to do this. I will always regret if it I don’t.” Kayley stood unsteadily and walked out of the waiting room, all eyes on her. As she walked down the hallway to the nurse’s station, she heard Alex’s voice in her head. “I love you always and forever, Kayley.” Always and forever ended today.
As Kayley reached the nurse’s station, a young nurse in lollipop scrubs looked at her sympathetically. “Are you Alex Carson’s wife?” Her eyes traveled to Kayley’s protruding belly and tears instantly formed in Kayley’s eyes. Kayley nodded and the nurse, whose tag read Amy, led her wordlessly to a room far down the hallway. She stopped at the doorway and put her hand gently on Kayley’s.
“Take your time. He’s- all cleaned up.” Amy chose her words wisely, knowing how fragile Kayley was. She nodded again, trying to smile at her but failing, and the nurse walked away.
She watched her walk down the hall, stop at the nurse’s station, and then head to another patient’s room. She watched visitors coming with balloons and flowers, going to whatever room their loved one was recovering in to wish them well. She stood there, like a statue, with her hand on the door of the room that held her dead husband. Dead. How could she ever get used to that word? When they said their vows and repeated, “Till death do us part,” they were both sure that it would be a long time from then, when they were old and had grandkids and maybe even great grandkids.
Kayley took a deep breath and pushed open the door, not ready for what she was about to see but needing to see with her own eyes that her Alex was not there, not coming back. She pushed the door shut behind her, not allowing her eyes to travel the room to find him. She could see the bed out of the corner of her eye and knew he was there, but she wasn’t ready to look. She leaned against the door, breathing heavily. What was she thinking? She couldn’t see him like this.
Just like that, she felt him. She felt Alex near her, and her knees almost buckled. She couldn’t explain why she felt that way, could never tell anyone
Kayley thought back to that day 13 months ago, after she was told Alex was never coming back.
“Kayley,” her mom’s voice had soothed her, stopped her screaming and reduced it to just whimpering. “You should go see him, honey. Say goodbye.”
It had been three hours since they told Kayley that her husband, Alexander Reed Carson, age 27, had passed away. From what the police gathered so far from the accident, Alex was driving home from work when a car going much too fast ran the red light and t-boned his side of the car, which shoved him into another car, then that car into another. Alex had been wearing his seat belt, but the car struck him so hard that his seatbelt broke and he went through the windshield. The man who had hit him had died also on impact; the other two passengers of the other cars Alex hit had minor injuries and walked away. There was an investigation to see if drinking was involved.
Kayley clung to her mom, her eyes roaming the waiting room filled with her and Alex’s family and friends. No one spoke- there was no need. Everyone was in shock and didn’t hardly move. The doctor had come in and urged Kayley and Alex’s family to come say goodbye. They had him cleaned up, ready to move him to the morgue.
“Do you want me to go with you, honey?” her mom asked, smoothing her hair away from her face. That simple motherly gesture that she had always done when Kayley was upset spurred more tears to come from her eyes. Her eyes felt like sandpaper and her eyelids, weights. She didn’t think she could possibly cry again…
“No,” Kayley’s voice was shaky but strong. “I need to do this. I will always regret if it I don’t.” Kayley stood unsteadily and walked out of the waiting room, all eyes on her. As she walked down the hallway to the nurse’s station, she heard Alex’s voice in her head. “I love you always and forever, Kayley.” Always and forever ended today.
As Kayley reached the nurse’s station, a young nurse in lollipop scrubs looked at her sympathetically. “Are you Alex Carson’s wife?” Her eyes traveled to Kayley’s protruding belly and tears instantly formed in Kayley’s eyes. Kayley nodded and the nurse, whose tag read Amy, led her wordlessly to a room far down the hallway. She stopped at the doorway and put her hand gently on Kayley’s.
“Take your time. He’s- all cleaned up.” Amy chose her words wisely, knowing how fragile Kayley was. She nodded again, trying to smile at her but failing, and the nurse walked away.
She watched her walk down the hall, stop at the nurse’s station, and then head to another patient’s room. She watched visitors coming with balloons and flowers, going to whatever room their loved one was recovering in to wish them well. She stood there, like a statue, with her hand on the door of the room that held her dead husband. Dead. How could she ever get used to that word? When they said their vows and repeated, “Till death do us part,” they were both sure that it would be a long time from then, when they were old and had grandkids and maybe even great grandkids.
Kayley took a deep breath and pushed open the door, not ready for what she was about to see but needing to see with her own eyes that her Alex was not there, not coming back. She pushed the door shut behind her, not allowing her eyes to travel the room to find him. She could see the bed out of the corner of her eye and knew he was there, but she wasn’t ready to look. She leaned against the door, breathing heavily. What was she thinking? She couldn’t see him like this.
Just like that, she felt him. She felt Alex near her, and her knees almost buckled. She couldn’t explain why she felt that way, could never tell anyone
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