sure?” I choked out.
“Sarah, don’t ask stupid questions. Just shut the hell up and get in
here.”
I covered the distance in half a second.
Chapter
Six
I stared at him, under the cascading water, as I slowly peeled off my tank
top and shorts. I was expecting him to suddenly shout, ‘Ha, just kidding. Get
the fuck out.’ I’m sure I deserved that. I deserved a lot worse than that.
But he didn’t. Instead he just closed his eyes, leaned his head under the
shower and showed me his chiseled, Greek god-like body – a body that still had
me instantly wanting it no matter how many times I’d seen it. I tentatively
stepped into the far end of the shower, and waited. For a while he acted like
I wasn’t there. He turned his back toward me and washed his hair and body, then
turned back around to rinse. He opened his eyes and almost seemed surprised to
see me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hog all the water,” he said as he stepped to
the side. When I didn’t move, he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me
around until I was under the water. Then he watched me. I didn’t close my
eyes. I was afraid to. I was afraid he would be gone when I opened them
again. So I kept them open as I wet my hair. I kept them open as I shampooed
my hair. And I kept them open, or tried to anyways, when I rinsed my hair.
But as I began to blink and squint from the stinging shampoo, Matt said,
“Jesus, Sarah. Would you frickin’ relax? I’m not going to run away and hide.
Give me a little more credit than that. If I’m going to leave, I’ll tell you.
Right now, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why not?” I sobbed as I wiped the soap from my eyes.
“Why not? Seriously? Do I really need to answer that? How about this?
You answer this for me. Why are you still here?” he said.
“Because I love you and want you so much that I couldn’t leave if I
tried,” I said.
“Exactly,” he said. He turned, as if he was going to step out of the
shower, but he didn’t. He stopped dead in his tracks and hung his head. I
wanted to go to him in the worst way. I wanted to hug him and tell him that
everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t. Because I didn’t know that.
I used to know that – before I messed everything up. I used to know that
without a shadow of doubt. But that was before. Now was a whole lot different.
Now was a brand new ball game.
Ever so quietly he muttered, “Why do you make me want you so much?”
Why did I make him want me ? Was he crazy? It was
the other way around. I knew that for a fact, as I stood there clasping my
hands together to keep me from reaching for him.
“God damn it, Sarah,” he said as he turned and lunged for me. His mouth
found mine as he pushed me against the shower wall. I felt every emotion
coming from him. At first it was anger, betrayal, pain, lust and love. But
gradually, as the fire burned brighter in him, I felt the anger, betrayal and
pain beginning to splinter and the lust and love grew bigger and stronger. As
he pinned my wrists to the wall, shoved my legs apart with his knee and entered
me, I felt the splinters of pain shatter as the love took over. His hands
grabbed my hips as he thrust into me. My hands grabbed his hair and pulled his
head back. I kissed him harder as I felt my climax getting closer and closer.
Suddenly he stopped. He dropped my hips and backed away a few steps. I was
panting. Everything was throbbing. Are you kidding me? I thought. Look at
how ready you are to burst… are you really going to walk away now? He stepped
towards me and put his hands on my cheeks. This is it, I thought. He’s going
to say goodbye. I tried desperately to brace myself. “God, Sarah, I love you
so much,” he whispered as he slowly brought his mouth back to mine.
“I love you too,” I managed before his mouth crushed
“Sarah, don’t ask stupid questions. Just shut the hell up and get in
here.”
I covered the distance in half a second.
Chapter
Six
I stared at him, under the cascading water, as I slowly peeled off my tank
top and shorts. I was expecting him to suddenly shout, ‘Ha, just kidding. Get
the fuck out.’ I’m sure I deserved that. I deserved a lot worse than that.
But he didn’t. Instead he just closed his eyes, leaned his head under the
shower and showed me his chiseled, Greek god-like body – a body that still had
me instantly wanting it no matter how many times I’d seen it. I tentatively
stepped into the far end of the shower, and waited. For a while he acted like
I wasn’t there. He turned his back toward me and washed his hair and body, then
turned back around to rinse. He opened his eyes and almost seemed surprised to
see me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to hog all the water,” he said as he stepped to
the side. When I didn’t move, he put his hands on my shoulders and turned me
around until I was under the water. Then he watched me. I didn’t close my
eyes. I was afraid to. I was afraid he would be gone when I opened them
again. So I kept them open as I wet my hair. I kept them open as I shampooed
my hair. And I kept them open, or tried to anyways, when I rinsed my hair.
But as I began to blink and squint from the stinging shampoo, Matt said,
“Jesus, Sarah. Would you frickin’ relax? I’m not going to run away and hide.
Give me a little more credit than that. If I’m going to leave, I’ll tell you.
Right now, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Why not?” I sobbed as I wiped the soap from my eyes.
“Why not? Seriously? Do I really need to answer that? How about this?
You answer this for me. Why are you still here?” he said.
“Because I love you and want you so much that I couldn’t leave if I
tried,” I said.
“Exactly,” he said. He turned, as if he was going to step out of the
shower, but he didn’t. He stopped dead in his tracks and hung his head. I
wanted to go to him in the worst way. I wanted to hug him and tell him that
everything was going to be okay. But I couldn’t. Because I didn’t know that.
I used to know that – before I messed everything up. I used to know that
without a shadow of doubt. But that was before. Now was a whole lot different.
Now was a brand new ball game.
Ever so quietly he muttered, “Why do you make me want you so much?”
Why did I make him want me ? Was he crazy? It was
the other way around. I knew that for a fact, as I stood there clasping my
hands together to keep me from reaching for him.
“God damn it, Sarah,” he said as he turned and lunged for me. His mouth
found mine as he pushed me against the shower wall. I felt every emotion
coming from him. At first it was anger, betrayal, pain, lust and love. But
gradually, as the fire burned brighter in him, I felt the anger, betrayal and
pain beginning to splinter and the lust and love grew bigger and stronger. As
he pinned my wrists to the wall, shoved my legs apart with his knee and entered
me, I felt the splinters of pain shatter as the love took over. His hands
grabbed my hips as he thrust into me. My hands grabbed his hair and pulled his
head back. I kissed him harder as I felt my climax getting closer and closer.
Suddenly he stopped. He dropped my hips and backed away a few steps. I was
panting. Everything was throbbing. Are you kidding me? I thought. Look at
how ready you are to burst… are you really going to walk away now? He stepped
towards me and put his hands on my cheeks. This is it, I thought. He’s going
to say goodbye. I tried desperately to brace myself. “God, Sarah, I love you
so much,” he whispered as he slowly brought his mouth back to mine.
“I love you too,” I managed before his mouth crushed
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