Miss Holly Is Too Jolly! by Dan Gutman

1
Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa
    â€œMe llamo A.J. y odio la escuela.”
    That’s “My name is A.J. and I hate school” in Spanish.
    Miss Holly translated it for me. She’s the Spanish teacher at Ella Mentry School.
    â€œIt’s not fair,” I said as our class walked down the hall to the language lab. “Whydo we have to learn a whole nother language?”
    â€œâ€˜Nother’ isn’t a word, Arlo,” said Andrea Young. “You can’t even speak English correctly.”
    Andrea is this girl in my class with curly brown hair who thinks she knows everything. She calls me by my real name because she knows I hate it.
    â€œâ€˜Nother’ is too a word,” I told her.
    â€œIs not.”
    â€œIs too.”
    We went back and forth like that for a while. Andrea said she looked up “nother” in the dictionary once, and it wasn’t there. She’s probably the only kidin the world who keeps a dictionary on her desk so she can look up words and show everybody how smart she is.
    â€œâ€˜ Another ’ is a word,” Andrea said, “but not ‘nother.’”
    â€œOh yeah?” I said. “If ‘nother’ isn’t a word, then why did you just say it?”
    Nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her.
    Andrea was wearing this dumb hat that she made all by herself in her knitting class. Andrea takes classes in everything. She probably even takes a class in how to be annoying, because that’s the one thing she’s good at.
    After walking a million hundred miles, we finally got to the language lab. What adumb name. Labs are supposed to have test tubes and mad scientists and hunch-backed guys named Igor who limp. Our language lab is just a plain old room where we learn Spanish. What’s up with that?
    â€œIsn’t learning Spanish fun?” Andrea said to her crybaby friend Emily. “I hope Miss Holly teaches us—”
    She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence because at that very second Miss Holly danced in the door.
    Miss Holly was playing a guitar and she had a big basket of fruit on her head. She was singing some crazy song and spinning around and stamping her feet. Herred dress had pictures of reindeer on the back. On the front were blinking lights and the words “Happy Holidays!”

    When she finished the song, Miss Holly yelled, “Olay!” which is the name of the stuff my mom smears on her face at night.
    â€œÂ¡Feliz Navidad!” Miss Holly said. “Happy Hanukkah! Kwanzaa Yenu Iwe Na Heri! ”
    â€œWhat the heck does that mean?” I asked.
    â€œThat means Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!” Miss Holly replied.
    â€œWhich holiday do you celebrate?” asked Emily.
    â€œMe?” said Miss Holly. “I celebrate all of them!”

    If you ask me, it was a little early to be talking about the holidays. I mean, we just came back to school from Thanksgiving break a few days ago. Miss Holly is too jolly.
    â€œI love all the holidays!” Miss Holly said. “I can’t wait for December!”
    â€œMy favorite holiday is Halloween,” said Neil, who everybody calls the nude kid, even though he wears clothes.
    â€œMy favorite holiday is Thanksgiving,” said my friend Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that is not food.
    â€œMy favorite holiday is my birthday,” said my other friend Michael, who never ties his shoes.
    Everybody started shouting out their favorite holiday.
    â€œWhat’s your favorite holiday, A.J.?” Miss Holly asked me.
    â€œMy favorite holiday is Take Our Daughters to Work Day,” I said.
    â€œThat’s for girls ,” Andrea said. “Why is that your favorite holiday, Arlo?”
    â€œBecause you’re not here,” I replied.
    â€œThat’s mean!” Andrea said. She crossed her arms and wrinkled up her face.
    She was right. It was mean. That’s why I said it!
    I