Nothing But Shadows by Cassandra Clare Page A

stop being so jealous that you are able to get chucked out of school. Maybe I can understand that your aims are noble. However, I still do not understand why you must make it so clear you detest the sight of me. I know, I know, you’re aloof and you wish to be alone with literature all the time, but it’s particularly horrible with me. It’s very lowering. Most people like me. I told you that. I don’t even have to try.”
    â€œYes, you’re very good at Shadowhunting and everybody likes you, Matthew,” said James. “Thanks for clarifying that.”
    â€œYou don’t like me!” Matthew exclaimed. “I did try with you! And you still don’t.”
    â€œThe thing is,” said James, “I tend to like very modest people? Humble, you know.”
    Matthew paused, considered James for a moment, and then burst out laughing. James was amazed by how gratifying that was. It made him feel like he could let out the humiliating truth.
    He closed his eyes and said: “I was jealous of you.”
    When he opened his eyes, Matthew looked wary, as if expecting a trick. “Of what?”
    â€œWell, you’re not considered an unholy abomination upon this earth.”
    â€œYes, but—no offense, James—nobody but you is,” Matthew pointed out. “You are our unique feature in the school, like a sculpture of a warrior chicken. If we had one of those. You disliked me before anybody knew you were an unholy abomination, anyway. Well, I suppose you are simply trying to spare my feelings. Decent of you. I under—”
    â€œI’m not aloof,” said James. “I don’t know where you got that idea.”
    â€œAll the aloofness, I think,” Matthew speculated.
    â€œI’m a swot,” said James. “I read books all the time and I do not know how to talk to people. If I was a girl living in olden times, people would call me a bluestocking. I wish I could talk to people like you do. I wish I could smile at people and make them like me. I wish I could tell a story and have everybody listen, and have people follow me around wherever I went. Well, no, I don’t, because I am slightly terrified by people, but I wish I could do all that you can do, just the same. I wanted to be friends with Thomas and Christopher, because I liked them and I thought maybe they were—similar to me, and they might like me back. You were jealous I could get kicked out of school? I was jealous of you first. I was jealous of everything about you, and I still am.”
    â€œWait,” said Matthew. “Wait, wait, wait. You don’t like me because I am so very charming ?”
    He threw his head back and laughed. He kept laughing. He laughed so much that he had to come and sit beside James on the step, and then he laughed some more.
    â€œStop it, Matthew,” James grumbled. “Stop laughing. I am sharing my innermost feelings with you. This is very hurtful.”
    â€œI’ve been in a bad mood this whole time,” said Matthew. “You think I’m charming now? You have no idea.”
    James punched him in the arm. He could not help smiling. He saw Matthew noticing, and looking very pleased with himself.
    *    *    *
    Sometime later, Matthew ushered James firmly into breakfast and to their table, which James noticed was only Christopher and Thomas, and a rather select table after all.
    Christopher and Thomas, in another surprise for James in a morning full of surprises, seemed pleased to see him.
    â€œOh, have you decided not to detest Matthew any longer?” Christopher asked. “I’m so glad. You were really hurting his feelings. Though we are not supposed to talk about that to you.” He gazed dreamily at the bread basket, as if it were a wonderful painting. “I forgot that.”
    Thomas put his head down on the table. “Why are you the way that you are?”
    Matthew reached over and