Paranoiac by Attikus Absconder

garden. The flora was
tall enough to block out any unwanted visitors, except me of
course. The entire expanse was filled with beautiful flowers and
small trees that I couldn’t name. Old statues littered the back
yard, especially near the pool area. If my memory serves me
correctly, most of the statues were from the original owners of the
house. The lights around the garden gave off an eerie ambience. The
caustic luminescence from the shimmering swimming pool only added
to its’ creepiness. The pool was very large and at least nine feet
deep. There were miniature waterfalls that formed into a small
slide, all of which was surrounded by foliage and a small
cherub-like statue. Underneath the waterfall and slide was a small
hidden cove. A perfect place for romantic nothings, especially in
this ethereal light. I stood watching the rain pierce into the
glowing, turquoise pool before jogging through the patio that lead
to the screened sunroom.
    As a kid I was
never allowed to swim in the pool. My parents were either throwing
pool parties or too lazy to supervise me. I swam in it maybe a
handful of times as a preteen but as soon as my mom was diagnosed,
my dad forbade it. When my mom got sick, my dad made up so many
bullshit excuses and rules, always saying it was for my own
good.
    Eventually
when she was too drained to travel, my dad gave her a choice of
where she wanted to live. She ultimately decided on this gaudy
place. It didn’t matter that this house was far away from any
emergency rooms or hospitals, she loved the heat and the privacy,
even if she couldn’t leave the house. Dad would always fly in
practitioners and specialists. He would spend a small fortune to
keep her alive with all sorts of medical wonders and machines. I
know it’s terribly selfish of me to feel this way but her being
sick stunted my life. It was all about her, all about him and never
about me. I was so neglected, starved for affection and friends and
I wouldn’t have it till I ran away to college. Even though her
death crushed me I was so relieved, I was free. And ultimately I
was finally able to get away from him.



Journal Entry Eleven
    The patio was
covered by a plaster ceiling that extended from the sunroom. It was
equipped with a large, stainless-steel, propane fueled grill, a
bulky ceiling fan and numerous stereo speakers suspended in the
corners. Even though my parents and their friends had eclectic
tastes, they preferred classic rock music over classical
pompousness. The ceiling fan was spinning lazily, the pull chains
flopping with its motion. Shivers ran up my spine and for the first
time I realized my teeth were chattering.
    Running over
to the door of the sunroom, I was blinded by the flood lights,
triggered the motion sensor. I hoped that the door was unlocked and
twisted the knob with success. The moment I passed through the
threshold a bright flash of lightning struck somewhere in the
distance. As soon as I saw that pure white flash of electricity my
surroundings were replaced with visions of sweet, amorous Molly. I
tried to block the images of here petite face. In futility, I tried
focusing on that sensual rumbling of the thunderous aftershock, but
her smile kept piercing its' way through the veil.
    I couldn’t
deny it anymore, my mental barrier was crumbling to pieces and I
couldn’t stop myself from picking at the scabs. That black haired
siren and her hypnotic eyes, piercing with a preternatural
luminescence of emerald. I didn’t want to remember and I don’t know
why. All I can recall is that I loved her with all of my
heart.
    I can remember
the sound of her adorable laughter, her milky pale skin, and the
way she played with her hair. In a flickering memory, I caught the
motion of her putting her hair in her mouth, turning her head
slightly and playfully. But I don’t know why I loved her or how I
know so much about her. Everything felt foggy and unfocused when it
came to her. I knew she was here and that it was her beat