and find him at the table with two coffee mugs. “Déjà vu,” I say quietly.
He smiles at me, “Your coffee’s ready. I figured you’d have to go to work and would want a cup before getting ready. How’d you sleep?”
“Thanks. Yes, coffee is always a must, especially this early. I slept surprisingly well. You?” I respond, taking my lower lip between my teeth.
“I’m glad to hear that. I guess sleepovers aren’t that bad. I slept great.” He beams at me and his eyes sparkle with delight. “You don’t have to be nervous, stop chewing your lip or I’ll remove it myself with my own teeth.” He winks at me sending a rush through my body.
He’s happy this morning, and deep down I know it’s because I slept in his arms without argument but try to push that thought away. The lines are starting to haze. Maybe Steph is right. Grayson and I aren’t friends. Is it inevitable that eventually we’d end up together, or end up hurting each other?
“I gotta go. We’ll talk, okay?” He says as he stands up putting his coffee mug in the sink and leans in to give me a peck on the lips.
“Yeah,” I murmur, feeling surprisingly sad about his departure. It’s ridiculous. He has to go to work and I do, too, but I always feel so comfortable around him. It’s like he doesn’t care who I was or where I came from, he just likes me for being me, free of judgment. He knows that I sleep with people, have my mommy issues, yet still accepts me no questions asked. And the scary part is that he fits in my life so perfectly, so completely, a piece of him in me that was missing.
Before he leaves, he turns to me saying, “It might surprise you, but I don’t tend to do sleepovers either. It’s different with you, though.” His eyes darken a little with specks of green, and they look uneasy with his admittance. Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.
He leaves and I get ready for work, hoping my writer’s block is lifted so I can finish my assignment by this afternoon.
Sitting in my office writing my article, Steph peeks in. “Hey, Mia. How did it go last night? I saw you left with Grayson.” She winks at me , and I roll my eyes. I’m biting my lip and let go before she notices.
“Good. We had sex and slept. Same as always.”
“He slept over again? On a school night?” She jokes.
“Yes, Steph. He slept over on a weekday. Get over it.” I snap.
She jerks back a bit hurt at my tone. “I’m just kidding, Mia. Relax it’s not the end of the world, and I am the last person who would judge you.”
“I know. I’m just confused. Maybe you were right.”
“What?! Can you repeat that again? I was right about what exactly? Stop biting your lip; you’re going to chew it right off. You must be in deep.” She smiles and walks further into my office taking a seat on one of the two chairs I have in front of my desk.
“You were right that maybe we aren’t friends. Maybe he does have more feelings. He cuddled with me in bed, and I let him. Cuddle! ” Even this surprises me. It’s like when I am around him I’m not as aware of my guard.
“You didn’t pull away?” She asks genuinely surprised.
“No, I was comfortable. It felt right, but I can’t let him in. I’ll just hurt him. Eventually I’ll run, and he’ll be left heartbroken. I can’t do that to him. It isn’t fair. Maybe I should just let him go now before it’s too late.” I remember what he said before he left, how I was different, and the small twinge of fear I saw in his eyes. I know Grayson is no saint, but I guess I thought he was more put together than me. Now I suspect that we have even more in common than I had realized.
“Give yourself more credit. You are capable of loving people. You are sweet, compassionate, beautiful, smart, and loving. You’ve got to get over the idea that you hurt people around you and you aren’t worth what people deserve. You still have me around, right?” She smiles with pride. She knows she’s
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