The shadow followed. She was sure there was another ghost in her house. Had Tate dragged something from the other side with him or was she now going to see ghosts at every turn? She glanced away from the house and saw Tate, sitting on the steps at the end of the verandah.
He was on the top step in a patch of sunlight. The light seemed to catch in whatever gave him shape so he was haloed in light, like an angel. For a moment she stood there transfixed. Then Shelby ran straight through him to crash into her leg with a playful head-butt that had been so much cuter when they hadn’t almost weighed the same.
She gave Shelby a scratch and then sat down next to Tate. “Hey.” She tried to act like everything was okay and there was nothing odd going on in her house.
“Hey.” He smiled but it was fragile. “Sorry about before.”
“It’s okay.” Eloise took a sip of her coffee. The cup warmed her hands.
“It was kind of strange reading about myself like that. About Ruby. I know this isn’t right—” he indicated his lack of body, “—but I don’t feel like I’m in intensive care clinging to life. I just feel kind of separated. Like it’s happening to someone else and there’s nothing I can do.”
“It’s okay. Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not there.” That sounded dumb. The kind of thing that people say when they don’t know what else to say. Which was exactly the situation she was in. But what could she say to him? She wanted to believe he’d go back when his body was ready. He was probably hoping the same thing. She pulled Shelby away from Tate. It seemed rude to let the dog keep walking through him, even though he didn’t seem to mind.
“I should be studying. I’ve got finals next week.”
Shelby rested her head on Eloise’s leg. No doubt there’d be a drool patch when she got up—nice—but Eloise didn’t push her away. Instead her hand patted the dog’s broad black head. The dog was warm and real, unlike Tate or the shadow in the house. “I’m sure the college has a sick policy.”
He shook his head, his blond hair hanging over his forehead as he looked at the ground. “It’s not just that. If I don’t get back, I won’t wake up. If I don’t wake up…”
He didn’t need to say his life would be over. They both knew that.
“We’ll work something out. I know where your body is now, so that’s a bonus.” She forced a smile.
Tate looked at her, his lips pressed together in a thin line, obviously not believing her platitudes. “If I die, I don’t want to linger around.”
“I understand.” It wasn’t like she had any claim on him.
“No you don’t.” He turned to face her. “I have no control over anything that’s happening. I might live, I might die, I might never wake up and be stuck like this forever, I might wake up and have no memory of ever meeting you.” He went to put his hand on her leg but it passed through her, like a cool breeze against bare skin. “I can’t do anything.”
He went to stand.
“Tate, just sit with me. Slow down. When I was stuck in hospital I used it as a chance to work out what I wanted. Sure I was thirteen, but I knew I didn’t want a boring job like my dad.” She looked at Tate. “He’s an accountant. I wanted to work with animals. I’m first-year science because I took a year off to travel—that was the other thing I wanted. I wanted to see the castles in Europe. I wanted to eat pizza in Italy.”
“You made a to-do list at thirteen?”
“I was in bed for six months with broken legs and a broken pelvis. What else was I going to do but imagine all the things I was going to do when I could walk again?”
He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. “I hadn’t even thought about rehab.”
“That wasn’t my point.” She took a sip of her rapidly cooling coffee. “You’re awake when you should be asleep, you have a chance to think things through so that when you do wake up you have a plan.
He was on the top step in a patch of sunlight. The light seemed to catch in whatever gave him shape so he was haloed in light, like an angel. For a moment she stood there transfixed. Then Shelby ran straight through him to crash into her leg with a playful head-butt that had been so much cuter when they hadn’t almost weighed the same.
She gave Shelby a scratch and then sat down next to Tate. “Hey.” She tried to act like everything was okay and there was nothing odd going on in her house.
“Hey.” He smiled but it was fragile. “Sorry about before.”
“It’s okay.” Eloise took a sip of her coffee. The cup warmed her hands.
“It was kind of strange reading about myself like that. About Ruby. I know this isn’t right—” he indicated his lack of body, “—but I don’t feel like I’m in intensive care clinging to life. I just feel kind of separated. Like it’s happening to someone else and there’s nothing I can do.”
“It’s okay. Maybe it’s for the best that you’re not there.” That sounded dumb. The kind of thing that people say when they don’t know what else to say. Which was exactly the situation she was in. But what could she say to him? She wanted to believe he’d go back when his body was ready. He was probably hoping the same thing. She pulled Shelby away from Tate. It seemed rude to let the dog keep walking through him, even though he didn’t seem to mind.
“I should be studying. I’ve got finals next week.”
Shelby rested her head on Eloise’s leg. No doubt there’d be a drool patch when she got up—nice—but Eloise didn’t push her away. Instead her hand patted the dog’s broad black head. The dog was warm and real, unlike Tate or the shadow in the house. “I’m sure the college has a sick policy.”
He shook his head, his blond hair hanging over his forehead as he looked at the ground. “It’s not just that. If I don’t get back, I won’t wake up. If I don’t wake up…”
He didn’t need to say his life would be over. They both knew that.
“We’ll work something out. I know where your body is now, so that’s a bonus.” She forced a smile.
Tate looked at her, his lips pressed together in a thin line, obviously not believing her platitudes. “If I die, I don’t want to linger around.”
“I understand.” It wasn’t like she had any claim on him.
“No you don’t.” He turned to face her. “I have no control over anything that’s happening. I might live, I might die, I might never wake up and be stuck like this forever, I might wake up and have no memory of ever meeting you.” He went to put his hand on her leg but it passed through her, like a cool breeze against bare skin. “I can’t do anything.”
He went to stand.
“Tate, just sit with me. Slow down. When I was stuck in hospital I used it as a chance to work out what I wanted. Sure I was thirteen, but I knew I didn’t want a boring job like my dad.” She looked at Tate. “He’s an accountant. I wanted to work with animals. I’m first-year science because I took a year off to travel—that was the other thing I wanted. I wanted to see the castles in Europe. I wanted to eat pizza in Italy.”
“You made a to-do list at thirteen?”
“I was in bed for six months with broken legs and a broken pelvis. What else was I going to do but imagine all the things I was going to do when I could walk again?”
He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. “I hadn’t even thought about rehab.”
“That wasn’t my point.” She took a sip of her rapidly cooling coffee. “You’re awake when you should be asleep, you have a chance to think things through so that when you do wake up you have a plan.
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