to select the keenest quotations.
“A confirmed bachelor, he lives quietly in Harrow and is, I understand, deeply involved in fund-raising with his local Parish. On occasion he appears to struggle with something of a moral conflict between earning a very satisfactory income from the business of manufacturing money for those who already have ample, while working assiduously to raise desperately-needed funds for those who have none.
“Mr Bacon is cut from an altogether different bolt of cloth; his work is by-and-large diligent and satisfactory unless he is tardy in his time-keeping – an occasional failing he regrettably exhibits, particularly after playing late at cards and a little too much, ah, refreshment at The Bagatelle Club, something of which he is perhaps rather too fond.
“He is by nature rather more flamboyant and garrulous than I or Mr Perkins, and thus the task of gaining fresh business, new clients and commissions falls within his remit. He, too, eschews the institution of matrimony, but I believe he enjoys the company of several of London’s, ah, livelier female socialites.
“As to myself, I imagine you already know all there is worth knowing.” Holmes concluded his scribbling and looked up intently at our client. “I believe I do, Mr Petch. Now there is little more that need concern you.
“I shall visit your business premises, and I shall also explore Clerkenwell. Perhaps it would be as well, so as to forestall idle gossip and rumour, if I were to assume another guise for these enquiries – I suggest a surveyor examining your premises with a view to further refurbishments and security enhancements?
“In that way I shall be able to access all areas without exciting undue speculation – I suspect that gossip of Sherlock Holmes investigating the premises of Perkins, Bacon & Petch would serve only to fuel unnecessary speculation, which would be exceedingly unhelpful, both to my enquiries and undoubtedly to your relationship with The Bank of England.”
“An excellent idea Mr Holmes; I shall send word ahead and make it so. Under what identity shall you attend?” Holmes pondered briefly. “A solid name, an English name, one unlikely to excite comment.” He glanced across at me with a flicker of amusement.“Would you object, Doctor, if I were to borrow your persona and become Mr John Watson, Surveyor, for the day?” I laughed. “Not in the least Holmes. Then I shall be your assistant, Mr…” my eye happened upon a brewer’s dray passing in the street below “…Whitbread?” And so it was that the newly-incarnated John Watson, Surveyor, along with his assistant, Mr Whitbread, prepared to survey the Fleet Street engraving and printing works of Perkins, Baker & Petch, and then to seek out Mr Nathan Madgwick. Holmes returned his attention to our client. “Mr Petch, I will cautiously add that there is yet reason to be optimistic. Still, we must plan for the worst while hoping for the best. In passing, I would strongly urge you to double, at least, the number of occasions when the watchmen tour the premises, and replace all your locks as soon as practicable. I have a great deal to accomplish, and so I bid you goodnight; I shall contact you when I have news.” The audience was at an end; Holmes clearly had learned all that he needed to commence his hunt. Mr Petch departed, seemingly with rather greater fortitude than when we first had encountered him at lunch. As the door closed Holmes sprang from his chair, rubbing his hands in glee. Brandishing Petch’s calling card he cried: “What a splendid conundrum, Watson, and what a perfectly splendid Christmas gift has been delivered to us! I would rather sink my teeth into this tough little nut than the tenderest Christmas goose in all London! I sense it is grown from greed, coated in cupidity and liberally dipped in deceit. Noel, Noel and thrice Noel!
“But to the business at hand Watson; no matter in how high a regard I hold both your company
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