So Feral! by J A Mawter

Reynolds whistles through her fingers to get our attention.
    A colony of ants dies at her feet.
    ‘H-h-has everyone got a partner?’ No one answers so she continues. ‘Before we h-h-head off, I’d like to make an announcement.’
    From the look on her face it will be about rescue flares and location-emitting devices. I am wrong.
    ‘I’ve just made a most disturbing discovery.’
    I look at my friends, raising my eyebrows in question. We all shrug, putting on our I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about faces.
    ‘Some articles of clothing h-h-have been stolen from my clothesline!’ Miss Reynolds announces. We all shut up real quick. ‘If they are not returned I h-h-have no option but to contact the police!’
    This is serious. Everyone starts talking at once.
    ‘What was stolen?’ asks Cordelia. The last time I saw her this excited was when Emily Peters threw up.
    Miss Reynolds clears her throat. She blushes. ‘Some … ah … items of intimate apparel.’
    ‘What’s intimate apparel?’ asks Lowie.
    I’m glad he’s asked, ‘cause I have no idea.
    ‘Underwear,’ says Miss Reynolds.
    ‘Like a singlet?’ prompts Lowie.
    Miss Reynolds stamps her foot. Her face goes even redder. ‘If you must know, a fox-print bra and knickers set. A very expensive set.’
    ‘Oooh,’ says Laura, with a look that says she knows all about that kind of stuff.
    ‘Oooh,’ says Lowie, with a look that says he doesn’t.
    ‘If my clothes are returned,’ says Miss Reynolds, ‘I’ll not say another word on the matter.’
    We stand around, eyeing each other up to see if we can guess who’s the thief. I try to imagine who’d want a fox-print bra and knickers set. Maybe Laura? ‘Cause if she goes the distance, her old undies will have to be burned. I look at Laura. She’s fiddling with her panty line as though she’s got hives. Can’t be her.
    ‘I’ll give you till the end of camp, then,’ says Miss Reynolds. After a long pause, it’s straight back to business. ‘There’s a lovely little walk we can take to a rocky outcrop called Devil’s Peak. They say it marks the way to h-h-hell.’
    ‘Must have Toby ’s name on it,’ hisses Laura.
    By the tug on her undies I know she hasn’t forgiven me.
    ‘If you look closely,’ says Miss Reynolds, ignoring Laura, ‘the rock forms a fork.’
    ‘Oh, goodie. A fork,’ says Lowie, earning himself a dirty look from Miss Reynolds.
    ‘A pitchfork, silly,’ says Miss Reynolds.
    ‘Ahhh,’ says Lowie in a way that I bet he’s thinking ‘hay’, not ‘horns and a tail’.
    After filling some water bottles we head off, Stay in pairs! ringing in our ears. Cordelia takes my sleeve and pulls towards the try-hards at the front but I hang to the back — a bit like Laura’s undies — to be with my friends. She does the big pout.
    ‘Something wrong with your bottom lip?’ I ask.
    Cordelia hrrrmphhs and takes off. I have to do a two-step to keep up ‘cause she’s still got this pincer grip on my elbow — worse than a soldier ant. Speaking of which …
    ‘Left, left, left-right-left.’ Miss Reynolds has morphed into Sergeant Major Reynolds. Her voice booms out. Even though my nose is in front and she’s behind she still manages to make my eyes water.
    My challenge is definitely impossible.
    We walk and we walk.
    Laura starts to waddle. Jonnie is methane propelled. And Andy’s beginning to look like a steamed cabbage. I’m worried he’ll get heatstroke. Even though it’s boiling, he refuses to take off even one of his T-shirts.
    We walk. Cordelia talks.
    ‘… stupid old Eucalyptus all falling to bits …’
    ‘… Daddy’s going to pay for this …’
    ‘… blisters on my blisters …’
    I hope her tongue gets blisters.
    I go into survivor mode. Fade out one left-right-left and one Moaning Minnie. Fade in immediate problem — my challenge.
    How to kiss Miss Reynolds?
    I’m so busy planning that I don’t see a tree root. I trip, falling into Cordelia. My nose