complicated and you don’t have to worry about someone else’s actions and feelings.”
Damian shook his head. “Dude, I know this is going to sound nuts—especially coming from an asshole like me.”
“Damian!” Alexis berated her husband and glared at him as she gestured at Isabella.
“Oh, right. Sorry, babe. But she’s only one. She doesn’t know what that means.”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on, you promised. We need to get into the habit of not using those words now or we won’t be prepared.”
“Yes, mom.” Damian playfully nudged her with his arm.
I saw the hurt expression flash in her eyes. Apparently, Damian saw it too.
“Hey,” his voice softer than before, “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. You’re right.” He reached over and squeezed her hand reassuringly. She met his gaze and the hurt and annoyance that were once on her face immediately melted away, like it was never there to begin with. In its place was a smile on her lips. As I watched Damian lean down and kiss her forehead, I found a part of me yearning for the closeness and love that they had for each other.
As if hearing my thoughts, Damian turned to me. “Anyway, I know this may sound crazy coming from me, but I think you should go for it with this woman. Who cares if she’s your client. I haven’t seen you dwell on a single woman before until this one. Who knows? She may be the one.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “That’s just crazy.”
“Dean, seriously. You know I use to be like you. I know how you think. I want to tell you now that you’re wrong, just like I was wrong. You think love is a weakness, a burden that you have to carry. But you’re wrong.” He turned to look at Alexis and then at Isabella. “Love is strength. It’s possibly the strongest thing that could exist. It can shape you, change you, and guide you to be a better version of yourself. And being loved by those that love you…well, there’s nothing like it. It feels incredible.”
I watched Damian look at the two loves of his life, and I saw something I’d never seen in him before Alexis came into his life. There was a gleam in his eyes that I’d never seen before. He seemed to be happier than I’d ever seen him.
Do I want that?
***
After my dinner with Damian and Alexis, I felt more confused than ever. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what I wasn’t willing to give to any woman. I thought that after the Blonde Bitch had ripped out my heart, I had nothing left to give to another woman.
But when I watched Damian’s and Alexis’s interactions with each other, when I heard what they had to say, something had shifted inside me. I wasn’t sure what all this meant, but I knew that I had to see Blair in person to figure it out.
I drove to her place and parked. I looked at my Rolex. It was 8:35 p.m. I wondered if she was even home as I knocked on the door.
Anxiety churned in my stomach as I heard footsteps walking toward the door from inside.
My breath caught when I saw her standing in front of the doorway in a simple white t-shirt and shorts. Her hair was up in a high pony tail and it looked like she had just returned home from an evening run. She looked gorgeous, and I had a feeling she didn’t even know it.
“Dean? What are you doing here?”
Her question took me by surprise, because it was the same question I had for myself. I didn’t know why I was there. I didn’t know why I needed to see her. All I knew was that I had to.
“I…” Our eyes met and all I could think about was how amazing her eyes were. “I just wanted to see you.”
My honesty must have caught her by surprise. “I thought I would never hear from you after you turned me away last week.”
Behind her sarcastic teasing, I knew I had hurt her that night. She was opening up to me and I had rejected her. A pain I’d never felt before radiated through my chest as I realized that I had caused her pain.
I closed the distance between us and walked
Damian shook his head. “Dude, I know this is going to sound nuts—especially coming from an asshole like me.”
“Damian!” Alexis berated her husband and glared at him as she gestured at Isabella.
“Oh, right. Sorry, babe. But she’s only one. She doesn’t know what that means.”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on, you promised. We need to get into the habit of not using those words now or we won’t be prepared.”
“Yes, mom.” Damian playfully nudged her with his arm.
I saw the hurt expression flash in her eyes. Apparently, Damian saw it too.
“Hey,” his voice softer than before, “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. You’re right.” He reached over and squeezed her hand reassuringly. She met his gaze and the hurt and annoyance that were once on her face immediately melted away, like it was never there to begin with. In its place was a smile on her lips. As I watched Damian lean down and kiss her forehead, I found a part of me yearning for the closeness and love that they had for each other.
As if hearing my thoughts, Damian turned to me. “Anyway, I know this may sound crazy coming from me, but I think you should go for it with this woman. Who cares if she’s your client. I haven’t seen you dwell on a single woman before until this one. Who knows? She may be the one.”
I snorted and rolled my eyes. “That’s just crazy.”
“Dean, seriously. You know I use to be like you. I know how you think. I want to tell you now that you’re wrong, just like I was wrong. You think love is a weakness, a burden that you have to carry. But you’re wrong.” He turned to look at Alexis and then at Isabella. “Love is strength. It’s possibly the strongest thing that could exist. It can shape you, change you, and guide you to be a better version of yourself. And being loved by those that love you…well, there’s nothing like it. It feels incredible.”
I watched Damian look at the two loves of his life, and I saw something I’d never seen in him before Alexis came into his life. There was a gleam in his eyes that I’d never seen before. He seemed to be happier than I’d ever seen him.
Do I want that?
***
After my dinner with Damian and Alexis, I felt more confused than ever. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I knew what I wasn’t willing to give to any woman. I thought that after the Blonde Bitch had ripped out my heart, I had nothing left to give to another woman.
But when I watched Damian’s and Alexis’s interactions with each other, when I heard what they had to say, something had shifted inside me. I wasn’t sure what all this meant, but I knew that I had to see Blair in person to figure it out.
I drove to her place and parked. I looked at my Rolex. It was 8:35 p.m. I wondered if she was even home as I knocked on the door.
Anxiety churned in my stomach as I heard footsteps walking toward the door from inside.
My breath caught when I saw her standing in front of the doorway in a simple white t-shirt and shorts. Her hair was up in a high pony tail and it looked like she had just returned home from an evening run. She looked gorgeous, and I had a feeling she didn’t even know it.
“Dean? What are you doing here?”
Her question took me by surprise, because it was the same question I had for myself. I didn’t know why I was there. I didn’t know why I needed to see her. All I knew was that I had to.
“I…” Our eyes met and all I could think about was how amazing her eyes were. “I just wanted to see you.”
My honesty must have caught her by surprise. “I thought I would never hear from you after you turned me away last week.”
Behind her sarcastic teasing, I knew I had hurt her that night. She was opening up to me and I had rejected her. A pain I’d never felt before radiated through my chest as I realized that I had caused her pain.
I closed the distance between us and walked
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