journal. I hadn’t updated it for awhile, but I enjoyed writing in it and getting my thoughts out, and even just as a record to look back on years later. I’d been keeping a journal on and off since I was eight years old. The early one’s were a bit cringe-worthy to read, but I was still glad I had them.
Liam’s back in town, with a pack of paparazzi in tow. He surprised me Friday night - turned up on my couch. I’ve missed him. Those damn feelings that I’ve been trying to repress all these years have bubbled to the surface again. Holly and him are done. Maybe. Probably. I hope.
Or do I? I’ve had less than 24 hours of paparazzi attention and I’m already sick of it. They’ll go away with Liam of course… but.. Is it a taste test of what life with Liam would be like? Hounded? Or would they not care so much if he was with a normal girl and not another movie star? Ugh, why am I even thinking that, I have no reason at all to even suspect that he has more than friendly platonic feelings for me. Plus, he’s still in love with that cheating idiot, despite what he says. Am I just trying to convince myself that it’s impossible anyway? I don’t know. I’m a bit confused. I suppose there’s nothing to actually be confused about.
Anyway. Feelings or lack of feelings aside, it’s been nice to see him, although could do without the pack. It’s weird to say the least. Don’t they know he’s just boring old Burnsy?
We had too much to drink last night. Went up to the cemetery this afternoon to pay our respects to Grant and Mum. It would have been Grant’s 24 th birthday today. I miss him. I miss them both. I wish Grant were around to help make sense of this craziness and laugh at the insanity of anyone finding Burnsy fascinating. I reckon he’d find that pretty hilarious.
I threw the diary away from me in frustration. I was just confusing myself more. Usually when I wrote, it helped to unravel my twisted thoughts. I was just winding myself up tighter right now. I shook myself. I was being silly. Liam and I were just friends. And friends was what we would always be.
I packed up for the day and jumped in the shower.
I tried to ignore the pack of waiting photographers as I stalked up the Burns’ driveway, an hour later. Why did I think it was a good idea to walk? Stupid.
I resisted turning around and glaring as I knocked on the front door. After a few moments and a swish of the curtain, the door opened for me. Liam’s older brother Charlie stood there, grinning at me.
“Come in, come in,” he said and stood aside so that I could squeeze in. He shut the door firmly behind me.
“Bit crazy, eh?”
“Yeah, that’s certainly one word for it!” I shook my head. “Anyway! How are you?” I leaned in and gave him a quick hug.
“Pretty good, thanks, Jen. How are you? Ma said you’re teaching up at the school now. How’s that going?”
“Yeah, I am. It’s just temporary, I’m just filling in for Jill Gerhard’s maternity leave. Did you have her?”
“Nah, after my time, I think. Are you enjoying it?” I followed him as he led me up the hallway and into the brightly lit kitchen.
“Yeah, it’s been pretty good, although it’s only been a week so far. But, so far so good! Can’t really complain.” I inhaled deeply. Whatever Frank had in the oven smelt divine.
“Jen’s here,” Charlie announced.
Liam, his parents, and Charlie’s wife Nina, were sitting around the lounge room, picking at a plate of delicious looking cheeses and dips. Linda got up and gave me a big hug.
“Good to see you, Jen.”
“You too. Thanks for having me, it smells great in here,” I said and looked around. “Where’s Dad?”
Linda frowned. “He said he wasn’t feeling well,” she said uncertainly.
I sighed.
“He needs to get out of that house. Excuse me, do you mind if I go and brow-beat him?”
“Of course not, Frank was just talking
Liam’s back in town, with a pack of paparazzi in tow. He surprised me Friday night - turned up on my couch. I’ve missed him. Those damn feelings that I’ve been trying to repress all these years have bubbled to the surface again. Holly and him are done. Maybe. Probably. I hope.
Or do I? I’ve had less than 24 hours of paparazzi attention and I’m already sick of it. They’ll go away with Liam of course… but.. Is it a taste test of what life with Liam would be like? Hounded? Or would they not care so much if he was with a normal girl and not another movie star? Ugh, why am I even thinking that, I have no reason at all to even suspect that he has more than friendly platonic feelings for me. Plus, he’s still in love with that cheating idiot, despite what he says. Am I just trying to convince myself that it’s impossible anyway? I don’t know. I’m a bit confused. I suppose there’s nothing to actually be confused about.
Anyway. Feelings or lack of feelings aside, it’s been nice to see him, although could do without the pack. It’s weird to say the least. Don’t they know he’s just boring old Burnsy?
We had too much to drink last night. Went up to the cemetery this afternoon to pay our respects to Grant and Mum. It would have been Grant’s 24 th birthday today. I miss him. I miss them both. I wish Grant were around to help make sense of this craziness and laugh at the insanity of anyone finding Burnsy fascinating. I reckon he’d find that pretty hilarious.
I threw the diary away from me in frustration. I was just confusing myself more. Usually when I wrote, it helped to unravel my twisted thoughts. I was just winding myself up tighter right now. I shook myself. I was being silly. Liam and I were just friends. And friends was what we would always be.
I packed up for the day and jumped in the shower.
I tried to ignore the pack of waiting photographers as I stalked up the Burns’ driveway, an hour later. Why did I think it was a good idea to walk? Stupid.
I resisted turning around and glaring as I knocked on the front door. After a few moments and a swish of the curtain, the door opened for me. Liam’s older brother Charlie stood there, grinning at me.
“Come in, come in,” he said and stood aside so that I could squeeze in. He shut the door firmly behind me.
“Bit crazy, eh?”
“Yeah, that’s certainly one word for it!” I shook my head. “Anyway! How are you?” I leaned in and gave him a quick hug.
“Pretty good, thanks, Jen. How are you? Ma said you’re teaching up at the school now. How’s that going?”
“Yeah, I am. It’s just temporary, I’m just filling in for Jill Gerhard’s maternity leave. Did you have her?”
“Nah, after my time, I think. Are you enjoying it?” I followed him as he led me up the hallway and into the brightly lit kitchen.
“Yeah, it’s been pretty good, although it’s only been a week so far. But, so far so good! Can’t really complain.” I inhaled deeply. Whatever Frank had in the oven smelt divine.
“Jen’s here,” Charlie announced.
Liam, his parents, and Charlie’s wife Nina, were sitting around the lounge room, picking at a plate of delicious looking cheeses and dips. Linda got up and gave me a big hug.
“Good to see you, Jen.”
“You too. Thanks for having me, it smells great in here,” I said and looked around. “Where’s Dad?”
Linda frowned. “He said he wasn’t feeling well,” she said uncertainly.
I sighed.
“He needs to get out of that house. Excuse me, do you mind if I go and brow-beat him?”
“Of course not, Frank was just talking
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