Toxic People: Decontaminate Difficult People at Work Without Using Weapons or Duct Tape by Marsha Petrie Sue
Authors: Marsha Petrie Sue
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more than their share of the work. In addition, a lack of self-confidence can be the cornerstone that has pushed this Toxic Person into this Know-It-All behavior. So, the compliment tactic works for yet another reason.
Here is the hard part. You have to keep a sense of humor; otherwise you will have a tendency to just take them out, get the duct tape, and decontaminate them! Know-It-Alls can be a pain, but if you keep a cheerful outlook they can actually become entertaining!
What to Say
Stop being at a loss for words with the Know-It-All. Learn the following responses until they become automatic so you can manage the situation and get the outcome you want.
“You’ve presented some strong arguments for additional resources on this project. Now what would happen if . . . ?”
“That sounded like a put-down. Is that what you meant it to be?”
“If I heard you correctly, the major points are . . .”
“Al, you’re the expert in this case. Help me understand . . .”
Do not try to counter the expertise of someone who has been a Know-It-All for a long time; you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment if you try to challenge them. Remember not to sound unprepared or unsure. This behavior is a tip-off to them to attack you at your weakness. In addition, do not embarrass them. They will take their revenge, most likely at a time of greatest damage and/or embarrassment to you.
Caution: Beware of fake Know-It-Alls. They just make up stuff and can be a real problem because they come across as believable and knowledgeable! Call them on their behavior and information immediately and ask them for data to back up their claims.
TRUE STORY: CAN YOU RELATE?
My company had just landed a huge hospital account that was definitely going to improve our bottom line. The sales representative, John, really pulled a coup for our team. He swaggered around and gloated, making sure everyone knew how much he understood the client and its needs. With the paperwork completed, the administrators began working to place all the print advertising as promised. The guarantees John had made to the client started to unfold.
John was seasoned and knew the parameters of our capabilities, but he had also wanted to wow the client. There was no way our software and database could support half of the promises he had made to the customer. John defended his proposal by stating that he had
“checked with the powers that be, and they said the programs were being updated to accommodate these new requests.”
John’s boss, Ann, brought him in for a meeting with the information technology (IT) manager, who confirmed that the company’s current software could not manage the new hospital account as described by John. Included in their conversation was the confirmation that the system was being worked on, but nothing to meet this client’s requests and needs would be available for several years. John stated that he knew if he brought in the client, the company would Band-Aid the current system in order to add that kind of revenue. John had used this argument several times in the past and had already been put on notice that it was unacceptable. Promising without being able to deliver got him on the fast track, all right—the one out the door. The Know-It-All lost his job because he really didn’t know it all!
Take II: How It Should Sound
Frank was disgusted with the meeting agenda, the client, and his colleagues. Who were the simpletons who continued to question his skill?
Didn’t they recognize the extent of his expertise? Polly approached Frank about a problem they were having with the client in hopes of setting a plan before the client’s arrival. Frank immediately snapped, “I don’t know who is more stupid—you or the client!” When the meeting started, Frank’s negative attitude and arrogance filled the air. The client was tired of Frank’s smart-alecky approach and asked that he be removed from the project. This would be a real problem,
Here is the hard part. You have to keep a sense of humor; otherwise you will have a tendency to just take them out, get the duct tape, and decontaminate them! Know-It-Alls can be a pain, but if you keep a cheerful outlook they can actually become entertaining!
What to Say
Stop being at a loss for words with the Know-It-All. Learn the following responses until they become automatic so you can manage the situation and get the outcome you want.
“You’ve presented some strong arguments for additional resources on this project. Now what would happen if . . . ?”
“That sounded like a put-down. Is that what you meant it to be?”
“If I heard you correctly, the major points are . . .”
“Al, you’re the expert in this case. Help me understand . . .”
Do not try to counter the expertise of someone who has been a Know-It-All for a long time; you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment if you try to challenge them. Remember not to sound unprepared or unsure. This behavior is a tip-off to them to attack you at your weakness. In addition, do not embarrass them. They will take their revenge, most likely at a time of greatest damage and/or embarrassment to you.
Caution: Beware of fake Know-It-Alls. They just make up stuff and can be a real problem because they come across as believable and knowledgeable! Call them on their behavior and information immediately and ask them for data to back up their claims.
TRUE STORY: CAN YOU RELATE?
My company had just landed a huge hospital account that was definitely going to improve our bottom line. The sales representative, John, really pulled a coup for our team. He swaggered around and gloated, making sure everyone knew how much he understood the client and its needs. With the paperwork completed, the administrators began working to place all the print advertising as promised. The guarantees John had made to the client started to unfold.
John was seasoned and knew the parameters of our capabilities, but he had also wanted to wow the client. There was no way our software and database could support half of the promises he had made to the customer. John defended his proposal by stating that he had
“checked with the powers that be, and they said the programs were being updated to accommodate these new requests.”
John’s boss, Ann, brought him in for a meeting with the information technology (IT) manager, who confirmed that the company’s current software could not manage the new hospital account as described by John. Included in their conversation was the confirmation that the system was being worked on, but nothing to meet this client’s requests and needs would be available for several years. John stated that he knew if he brought in the client, the company would Band-Aid the current system in order to add that kind of revenue. John had used this argument several times in the past and had already been put on notice that it was unacceptable. Promising without being able to deliver got him on the fast track, all right—the one out the door. The Know-It-All lost his job because he really didn’t know it all!
Take II: How It Should Sound
Frank was disgusted with the meeting agenda, the client, and his colleagues. Who were the simpletons who continued to question his skill?
Didn’t they recognize the extent of his expertise? Polly approached Frank about a problem they were having with the client in hopes of setting a plan before the client’s arrival. Frank immediately snapped, “I don’t know who is more stupid—you or the client!” When the meeting started, Frank’s negative attitude and arrogance filled the air. The client was tired of Frank’s smart-alecky approach and asked that he be removed from the project. This would be a real problem,
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