Trouble in the Village (Tales from Turnham Malpas)

Trouble in the Village (Tales from Turnham Malpas) by Rebecca Shaw

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Authors: Rebecca Shaw
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his trap shut I think he’ll do very nicely.’
    ‘Keep his trap shut? He’s got to ask questions.’
    Wryly Willie answered that, yes, he had, that was quite true.
    ‘You think he’ll be satisfactory then?’
    ‘Well, we’ve no choice, have we? But, yes, I think he will. I ’aven’t had an opportunity to go through the book work with him, though.’ Willie nodded at the window. ‘Got to take my chance with this good weather and get the outside work done first. Bookings for the hall could be a different matter. Money an’ that.’
    ‘He’s been in business for a long while, he should be au fait with accounts.’
    ‘Yes, I expect he should.’
    ‘Altogether then seven out of ten so far.’
    Willie grinned. ‘Hit the nail on the head as Tom would say.’
    Ralph stood up to go. ‘We could do with having a review of what we charge for letting the church hall. Whilst we don’t want to appear greedy, we mustn’t be running at a loss. Perhaps Tom would have some input about it.’
    ‘I’m sure he will. We’ll have to get the signwriter out to alter the board outside. Verger: Thomas Nicholls, Orchid House,’ Willie sniffed derisively, ‘Stocks Row, and his telephone number.’
‘It’ll be strange not having the name Biggs on the board. How long was your father verger?’
    ‘Forty years almost to the day, I believe. So it’s fifty-six years there’s been a Biggs on that board. If I’d had a son he wouldn’t have wanted a job like mine, he’d have been off into Culworth or London even. The young don’t settle for jobs like mine nowadays.’
    ‘But do they lead happier lives?’
    ‘Ah!’
    ‘I’ll be off.’
    The signwriter’s arrival two weeks later was cause for comment in the bar that same night.
    As he waited for his orange juice Don said, ‘I see Willie Biggs has got his marching orders. Where is he by the way, Georgie?’
    ‘On holiday in Torquay. That’ll be eighty pence. Thanks, Don.’
    Jimmy called out, ‘Come over and sit with me, Don, I’m lonely without Willie and Sylvia and I never see hide nor hair of your Vera nowadays. How is she by the way?’
    Don slid his plump backside on to the settle opposite Jimmy and took a drink of his orange like a man reaching an oasis after a long hard slog across a desert. ‘It just fits the bill does this, sitting ’ere with an old friend in pleasant surroundings, drinking my favourite tipple. Six shifts a week I’m doing now – this is me only day off this week.’
    ‘Yer should be taking it easier not working harder at your age.’
‘Less of the “your age”. A man’s as young as he feels. But I have to say that night work is stopping soon once they’ve finished this big order. They’re going to be cutting right back, so I shall be working eight till five, five days a week. Shan’t know meself! I see the signwriter’s made it official. Lord Tom’s been installed.’
    ‘Official. I can’t fathom out why he wants it, ’im with his import-export lark, settling down to a two-bit job like verger.’
    With a dead-pan face Don answered, ‘Don’t let Willie hear you say that. According to him the verger at St Thomas’s is a mainstay of the Church of England I have heard said the Archbishop consults him on theological matters from time to time.’
    Jimmy looked at Don in surprise. ‘Come on, Don, be careful, yer nearly made a joke. It does my blood pressure no good at all.’
    ‘Did I? Perhaps I did. Grand chap is Tom. You can’t ’elp but take to him. Right laugh when you get him going. He can’t half tell some tales about the East End when he was a boy. Like another world.’
    ‘That’s just it, he doesn’t fit just right, does he? What’s the son of an East End barrow boy doing being verger in Turnham Malpas?’
    ‘Come to that, what’s Jimmy Glover Esquire, late poacher and ne’er-do-well, doing owning a taxi, eh? Jimmy?’
    ‘Yer right.’
    Gloomily Don reflected on his life. ‘Come to think of it, what am I doing

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