Trouble in the Village (Tales from Turnham Malpas) by Rebecca Shaw Page A

shifting for myself with no Vera? I wouldn’t want you to think I’m missing her ’cos I’m not, I’m as happy as a sand-boy, and I don’t want her back, not if she begged me. No arguing, no nagging, only one mouth to feed … I tell you, there’s a lot to be said for the single life.’
Jimmy stared into the distance. ‘Not much from where I’m sitting, but then you’ve only been on your own a matter of weeks. Tell you what, you’ve lost weight and look better for it.’
    Don looked down at the gap between his big stomach and the edge of the table. ‘You could be right. By the way, they tell me Tom’s put up the charges something ridiculous for the church hall. The Flower Club are, as Sheila Bissett put it, “outraged”. Doubled, she says, but pay early and you get a discount.’
    ‘Who says?’
    ‘Tom. He’s warning people before the notices go out.’
    ‘Speak of the devil. He’s just come in.’
    Tom took off his tweed cap as he entered and waved it in general at whoever cared to acknowledge him. ‘Evening, Jimmy, evening, Tom.’ Jimmy, looking forward to a bit of sport at Tom’s expense, called out, ‘Come and sit with us, Tom. Two lonely bachelors, we’re in need of cheering up.’
    Tom chatted up Georgie while she got his order and then came across to them carrying a tray with his own lager and a drink each for Don and Jimmy.
    ‘Here we are then, lads. Drinks all round. One thing, you don’t cost much, Don. Orange juice!’
    Don nodded his thanks. ‘Evie not with yer?’
    Tom took a sip of his lager after he’d toasted the two of them, placed his glass neatly on the beer mat in front of him and said, ‘Evie doesn’t take to life in a bar. She always says –’
‘Nice woman, your Evie, you’re lucky to have her.’
    ‘I am. What about you then, Don? Not got Vera back yet?’
    ‘There’s no yet about it, she won’t be back, and as I’m not going to live in that tarty flat of hers, that’s how matters stand. Married all these years and she’s marched off without so much as a backward glance. Women!’
    ‘Nothing quite like a woman to cuddle up to on a cold night though. Evie always –’
    ‘What’s this about putting up the charges for hiring the church hall. Whose idea was it?’ Jimmy asked, before Tom could tell them what Evie always did or said.
    ‘The Rector’s.’
    ‘The Rector’s! Doubling ’em! It doesn’t sound like the Rector.’
    Tom leaned across the table and tapped a thin finger on it several times. ‘Do you know when the prices last went up? Five years ago. Time they were increased, with costs as they are.’
    ‘But double!’
    ‘Double. But discount for cash and early payment.’
    ‘That doesn’t sound like the Rector either.’
    Tom had the grace to blush. ‘No, that’s Tom Nicholls bringing the church into the twenty-first century.’
    Don sniggered. ‘It’s hardly into the twentieth century, never mind the twenty-first. Doesn’t seem right somehow.’
    Jimmy looked straight into Tom’s eyes and said, ‘Don’t look now but Sheila Bissett’s just come in with Ron. From the looks of her she’s got the light of battle in her eyes. Too late, she’s spotted yer. She’s ordered Ron to get the drinks. ’Ope you’ve got some good reasons ’andy … Yer going to need ’em.’
Tom stood up, the only one of the three to do so. ‘Good evening, Sheila. Let me get you a chair.’ He went to another table and asked permission to remove their spare chair. ‘Here you are. I’ll put it on this end where there’s more room. Ron won’t mind the settle, will he? Move up, young Don, make room for Ron. I’m a poet and didn’t know it!’ He beamed at Sheila, patted her shoulder and seated himself again.
    She wagged her finger at him. ‘I’m glad you’re in here tonight, it gives me a chance to put my case. Don’t think playing the gentleman will undo the harm you have done, because it won’t.’
    Tom looked shocked. ‘ Playing the gentleman.