Trouble in the Village (Tales from Turnham Malpas) by Rebecca Shaw Page B

I am a gentleman.’
    Sheila snorted. ‘You might appear to be one but how can you be when the moment you take charge the price of booking the hall doubles? I shall have to put up our membership fee for the Flower Club and it’s going to be hard for some of them to find the money.’
    ‘It isn’t my responsibility, putting it up. The Rector came up with the idea and he’s waiting for confirmation from the committee.’
    Taken aback Sheila said, ‘Oh, I see. The Rector.’
    ‘So I’m not to blame. I’m only the poor geezer in the firing line.’
    ‘Yes, but I bet it was you who sowed the seed. Yes, I can just see it, all comfy over a cuppa and … Thank you, Ron.’
    Ron placed her drink in front of her and eased himself on to the settle beside Don. ‘Evening, everyone.’
Jimmy greeted him with ‘Your Sheila’s getting stuck in about the charges for the hall.’
    ‘I’ve told her it’s only reasonable but she won’t listen.’
    ‘I do listen, Ron, I do, but I don’t have to agree with you, do I?’
    Tom said vehemently, ‘The church can’t afford to subsidise everybody.’
    ‘No, but I bet you’ve had a hike in salary. I bet my bottom dollar you’re getting more than Willie did.’
    ‘Now, Sheila …’
    ‘“Now, Sheila” nothing, Ron, I bet he is. Go on, deny it.’
    Tom spilt his drink and made a bother of wiping his jacket and the pool of lager on the table. ‘Just look at that. What a mess. Evie will have something to say about this. “Just back from the cleaners,” she’ll say. I’ll get a cloth from Georgie.’ He got up and went to the bar, leaving Jimmy and Don laughing quietly.
    Ron said, ‘You nearly nailed ’im there, Sheila, but he’s too quick even for you.’
    ‘I’m right, though, aren’t I? Otherwise he’d have denied it.’
    Tom came back and made a fuss of wiping up the lager. ‘How clumsy of me, what a mess! Evie says I’m –’
    ‘Never mind, don’t make such a fuss. I jogged yer elbow, didn’t I?’ Jimmy said slyly.
    ‘You didn’t do it on purpose, though, did you?’
    ‘Oh, no.’
    ‘Well, then.’ Tom took the cloth back to Georgie and stopped for a chat. ‘Where’s Dicky tonight?’
‘Everyone knows and so should you. It’s Scout night.’
    ‘Of course! Grand job he does, you know. A grand job. The two of you no nearer being able to marry?’
    ‘No. We still haven’t tracked down that husband of mine. He’s probably dancing the night away under some southern sun with that disgusting Electra clinging to him. If only he knew the heartache he’s causing.’
    Tom placed a sympathetic hand on hers as it rested on the bar. ‘Never mind, one day he’ll turn up and you’ll be able to get him sorted out. Dicky’s the sort of chap who’s worth waiting for. And wait he will, with you as his prize.’
    Georgie blushed. ‘Now, Tom!’
    ‘In fact if I wasn’t well and truly married I’d be elbowing him out!’
    ‘Would you indeed!’
    ‘I would! You’re a gorgeous woman, Georgie. A fitting tribute to womanhood!’
    ‘Get away!’
    Tom laughed and went back to his table. While he’d been away the others had been silent.
    On Tom’s return Jimmy said, ‘Now Willie Biggs isn’t verger I’m hoping for some inside information from you. Never uttered a word about any secrets he learned as verger, played his cards too close to his chest for my liking. People, including himself, got married on the quiet and he never let slip a word. At funerals, and we all know the bother they can cause, all sorts ’appened and he never let on.’
    ‘What can happen at a funeral, for goodness’ sake?’ Tom asked.
    ‘Well, there was a funeral once and the deceased’s bit on the side turned up looking really dramatic, in black, with a black veil over her face and shoulders, and there was a terrible row and almost a fight at the graveside when she tried to take her turn throwing soil on the coffin like yer do. Willie never let on, never told us a word. Another